31.7.17

The Baggage I Can't Let Go Of




"These mountains you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb"

I need to empty my mind.

I have baggage which I need to unpack.

I have memories, feelings, that are always at the forefront of everything else inside me.

//

My thoughts spiral. I overthink. There's not a day where I don't feel suffocated by emotion or confused by my conflicting perceptions.

I go through phases, sometimes believing one thought over another or letting one memory get to me more than it should.

I convince myself I'm free, but I have skeletons in that closet that I wish to bury deep.




JUMPER - ZARA

It's familiar. It's comfortable. I'm happy to waive through it.

I tell myself it's a part of me, a part I can't let go of, but my tired eyes, my tired mind, say quite the opposite.

//

It drags me down. I'm sinking.

I only have two hands, two hands to carry the weight.

Although I am strong, stronger than I seem, I will soon crumble. I will crumble to my knees.




LIPSTICK - SMASHBOX

I am good at smiling.

I am good at faking it through my wide blue eyes.

I will convince you, and myself, that it will all be fine.

It will all be fine.

But, then the days comes where I'm crashing down and I ask myself, I wonder, why did I lie?

//

Sometimes I am true.

Sometimes I am confused.

I am just seeking balance, something I've never known how to use.





"When you're at the bottom, there's no where to go but up"

But, I will start to unpack.

I will start to unload the memories, the feelings and the forefront of everything inside of me.

I will feel a lightheadedness as the calming breeze fills my mind and my feet lift off of the ground.

//

I will learn, with my only two hands, to empty my outlook of my heavy ideas, my heavy perceptions and to let go.

I will learn to let go.

6 comments:

  1. lots of love honey. I found this rather beautiful, honest and captivating to read! I definitely related to your exact feelings in this. xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  2. Simply Beautiful!

    dearhumanswithlove.com xo

    ReplyDelete

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