"Grow From The Dirt They Left You In"

21.1.18


There are lots of different lessons that I've learnt throughout my (albeit - short and a bit messy) lifetime on this earth. I know that different experiences have influenced my life in different ways, and I've taken little bits of knowledge from each situation I've ever been in.

That's how life works, you see.

We learn, we adapt, we change. That's how we grow.






In my years during Primary/High School, I experienced a lot of different bullying. I was bullied over my appearance, the fact that I was related to my brother (who was picked on excessively too) and just simply for 'not fitting in'. And, honestly, that kind of thing messes with your head for the rest of your life.

Bullying leaves you feeling unworthy, feeling alone, and feeling like every little comment that left you feeling 'worthless' and 'ugly' and 'fat', is completely true.

I have days where I'll replay moments of me being left out of games in Year 6 in my brain, or I'll hear someone calling me a 'weirdo' when I'm feeling down. I'll look in the mirror and remember nasty comments one of the 'popular' girls said about me or I'll remember how hideous I felt in the girl's changing room during PE.

These are the kind of thing that really stay with you.





EARRINGS - MONKI // LIPS - 3INA // SHOES - NEW LOOK

But, in life, we can either let these things destroy us, or we can fight back. We can either let people tear us down into tiny little pieces or we can glue those pieces back together and create something, bigger and better than before. We can decide that we want to prove those people wrong, show them just how incredible we can be, and finally get rid of that 'unworthy' feeling.

"Grow from the dirt they left you in"

So, what I'm saying is: we need to use what they've done to us, and learn from it.

They've left us sitting in the dirt, and now we need to use that dirt to grow and blossom.




When I think back to teenage girls calling me 'fat' or excluding me from things, I just look at myself now, growing in a career that completely revolves around images of myself and the way I look, as well as being accepted in such a wonderful creative industry.

Or, when I think back to feeling inadequate in school, like I'd never be as smart as my brother (who's always been a total genius) I think about how now, my writing is read from people's laptops, from people's phones, and it helps people, it's relatable for people and people enjoy it.
My writing is good.


"Today is better than yesterday"

Life is a total bitch sometimes - especially as we grow up - but as you get older, you realise how much that 'bitchiness' can empower you. You can channel all that hurt into something brilliant.

So, if you're out there, and you're crumbling to pieces, put those god damn pieces back together. Build yourself back up and show people exactly how much fight you have in you.

Even the 'smallest' 'quietest' 'loneliest' people can do brilliant things.

14 comments

  1. It is truly amazing to see someone blossom the way you do. You've come so far, it's truly inspiring.
    I aspire to have that level of confidence. I aspire to love myself like that.
    I am 25 and I still have painful emotional scars because I was bullied in school (I had social anxiety). I have battled with disordered eating for 8 years. I am depressed.
    People like you give me hope and make me believe there's always a way to turn things around. Maybe, just maybe, better days are coming.
    Thank you for being so open and honest. Lots of love x
    /Mona

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    1. Thank you so much Mona!

      I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through, but you're so right, better days are coming! Everything will be okay <3

      Lots of love! xx

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  2. Holly, I can't say how agreed I am with you about one particular thing: your writing is, indeed, good. In fact, they are great and I love reading them. I read the other, say, fashion bloggers' post but nothing really touch me as the way your writing do. I'm glad you share a lot about your experiences because as someone who is also a total outsider, most of the time I feel so alone and completely different with other people. It is a relief for me to know that I'm not the only one who feel that way. Thank you for always writing wholeheartedly ❤

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    1. Thank you so much - I really really appreciate that! I always aim to help people or make people feel less alone with my writing because I know just how alone I have felt - It's awful to feel so lost!

      ♥♥♥

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  3. Great post Holly. You definitely proved those bullies wrong and this is such a good piece for those to read who are going through a similar thing right now. You show that you can come out of it the other side and do amazing things. Don't ever listen to the haters.

    Samio xxxx

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    1. Thanks so much Samio - that means a lot! I always aim to help people :-) xx

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  4. First off all, YOU'RE SO GORGEOUS!!!!
    There are some memories of the high school I haven't gotten rid of, even if I try to. I was just reading this book called Friend Request, it's about high school bullying and how vile teenage girls can be. And I was like yeah high school is such a hell for most of us. But I'm so glad to see you bloom, Holly. And I'd agree, your writings are super cool! lots of love!!!


    Not Your Type Blog

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    1. Thank you so much!! High School really is the worst - it's so not true what they say! xxx

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  5. Your writing is so genuine and I imagine it must be so cathartic to write it out and know that your words are helping others! Also your imagery is gorgeous, I'm so happy to have found your blog!

    Tash x

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    1. Thank you so much - it really is! Writing is totally my therapy!

      ♥♥xx

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  6. This post is amazing! It shows so much strength and also gives it. To your sentence "My writing is good" -No your writing is amazing and so much more. You just give so much.

    xx Antonia

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    1. Thank you Antonia, that's so so kind of you! It means a lot that you like my writing! xxx

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  7. Beautiful photos & outfit, you look incredible! How ironic people made fun of how you look, you are now making a life out of how you look! I seen you in a photo on instagram and fell in love with your looks & style, so I had to stalk you! LOL But I totally agree with what you are saying, I was just saying this to my other half the other day. Your teen years totally shape you! And things that happened during those years, stay with you for years. & It takes ages for you rewire your brain! I think its because they are such important years on how you find out who you are. So you do take on what people say to you, because if enough people say it, it must be true right? But we are all self-concious at that age, even the bullies. So to make them feel better, they make someone else feel worse. Because at least its not them right? It isnt tell we are older do we sometimes learn about our mistakes...

    Hayley xx
    www.5ftlife.co.uk

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    1. Thank you so much Hayley! It's so true - our teens are a total nightmare, but as you get older, you realise how much you learnt throughout it all! xxxx

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