'Trust Me, It Gets Better', And Other Shit That We Say

29.3.18


'Trust me Hol, it get's better' - you have no idea how much this sentence has been said to me over the past 4 years. It's one of those overly repetitive, yet weirdly comforting, things that people spew out to you in your time of need. It's a phrase as old as time, it's basically the mantra behind every Dua Lipa song and, it's something we've all needed to be told at some point.

It's like the only advice someone can give you at certain times in our lives, because, simply, there really is no other way to explain it. Although life feels crappy, and everything around you is falling to pieces, IT WILL GET BETTER - you just don't know it yet.

The thing is, we just don't want to hear it.



For example, when I was at my worst, dealing with depression and my eating disorders, I remember crying and crying and crying to my Mum, telling her I felt trapped; I felt like I was suffocating; I felt like it was going to be this way for the rest of my life. She'd hold me and tell me, 'you're going to be okay, we're going to fix this', and maybe for 30 seconds, that would heal the wound, it would stop me crying, but right afterwards I would sink back into a dark hole and imagine myself not being around in a years time. The advice didn't do anything for me at that point.

I was void to it. I was ignorant to it. All I cared about was feeling how shitty I felt. I couldn't imagine feeling any other way, and didn't seem to want to either.

But time passes, things change and, hey, look at me now. Just like my Mum said 'we're going to fix this', and we did.

So what if it took 4 years to reach a point of total clarity with it all, I still made it here and things have gotten better.

It all just takes time.

It takes time for these sayings to work - for these things to stick.



Even some stuff that's happened to me recently - I felt like I had been broken for good. I felt so hurt and betrayed and lost.

Everyone around me was saying 'It gets easier', 'It gets better', and I just wanted to be like 'YOU'RE GOING TO SAY THAT BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT FEELING IT OR GOING THROUGH IT!'  - I couldn't deal with trying to be comforted. It all just hurt too much to even try.

Whereas now, fast forward a little bit, and I'm the best place I've been in a long time. I'm so happy, so in control of my mental health, and enjoying my life so so much. It seems like all that hurt and upset never even happened - it's simply not something that affects me too much anymore.

I'm okay.



So, I guess my point here is: Yeah, people are going to spew this repetitive phrases out to you, people are going to comfort you in those ways - tell you things you don't want to particularly hear right now... but give it some time - even if it's years - and you'll realise it's not 'spew' after all. It's actually realistic, truthful and helpful.

Everything always works itself out.

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2 comments

  1. This was a really comforting post to hear as it's something people tell me a lot and sometimes, I just don't believe it. I suppose time does heal everything in a way. You look incredible in these pictures!

    Lucy Jane | Infinity of Fashion

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    Replies
    1. Time is the greatest healer, honestly! It'll all be okay!
      Thank you so much xxxx

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