Mariah Carey is blaring, the Baileys is being consumed in excess and boxes of Quality Street are being passed around from family member to family member.

I know, I can't believe it either, but Christmas is very nearly here!

2019 has felt like a whirlwind of a year. There's been lots of change for me, and to be honest, despite there being a lot of downs, it's been a year of me *kind of* getting my shit together. It's felt like a year of a lot of liberating decisions, and new experiences, and that's just the sort of thing I think I've needed for a while.

Back in January I worked on amazing project with the Trafford Centre, which saw my face plastered on billboards and scattered around the shopping centre - something I never thought I'd be able to see in the flesh. I've been on billboards before, but always in other places like Paris or New York, so it was really nice to be able to see one, finally, up close and personal! 

The Trafford Centre is a really significant place for me too, as when I was in the depths on my eating disorders, my Mum would get me out of the house for the day by taking me there. Fast forward 5 years and I'm working with them and seeing myself on motorway adverts! I don't think anything will ever quite top that feeling, you know.

In February I traveled down to London for a week to shoot with Marionaudd for 2 days, on top of working with Sister Jane, which was absoloutley dreamy. I got to model along side my pal Kiera, and prance around the quirkiest Notting Hill house, which was so much fun.

I also got to work with two of my favourite people CJ and Christian to shoot some really cool stuff for BOYGIRL AGENCY. I absolutely loved the video we shot - you can watch it HERE over on my Instagram!

"As you notice the ways other people bloom, may you remember the ways you are blooming too"

In March, Josh and I ventured into London together for the first time. It's safe to say we were both very stressed that day, as I rushed from meeting to meeting, but we ended the day on a high with a little trip to the Natural History Museum, which was lovely. *side note - Josh did not enjoy the tube journeys haha.

I also got to work with Bobbi Brown on their Skin Longwear Foundation - you guys know I'm a huge Bobbi Brown stan! Every opportunity I have to work with any brand feels like such an honor and it's especially great when it's one of your all time favourites.

By April, I felt like the busiest girl in the world - constantly in Manchester shooting blog photos or going for brunch. Marta Ferenc and I shot one of my favourite campaigns of all time for Calvin Klein, and managed to get the most perfect 'golden hour' photos. I loved sharing that with you guys! 

I was also invited down for a lovely lunch with Calvin Klein too. We had an amazing 3 course meal and got to have a sneaky look at upcoming collections - what a dream come true!

On May 12th I was so very kindly invited to attend that BAFTAs with Carat London, and honestly I can't even put that experience into words - it was so surreal walking the red carpet and being 'papped' like some sort of celebrity. I wish I could do it all over again!

I remember being stood by Jonathon Ross whilst sipping my champagne, and completely fangirling as David Schwimmer presented an award on stage... I WAS IN THE SAME ROOM AS ROSS GUYS!

BAFTAs aside, in May I also got to go to my first festival ever. Miss Selfridge invited me along to go to Neighborhood Weekender and it was honestly one of my highlights of the year. I had such a laugh that day, drinking with the girls and desperately trying to sign up for the karaoke tent even though the list was full (lol). I just remember having the best time and I'm so grateful I got to be surrounded by such lovely people to experience it. 

I also started my part-time job in May, which may not seem like a big deal, but this was my first ever non-self-employed job that I've ever had. It was the kick up the arse I felt I needed at the time - I'd felt lost in my little bubble, struggling for money when the paid 'ad' work fell flat, and desperately seeking something else. It may just be a retail job, but I've met some of the most amazing people from it, and I'll be forever thankful that I got given the position, despite my hugggeeee lack of experience in the 'real' world.

"It's okay if growth looks differently this season"

In June I hit the ripe old age of 21 and swanned off to Milan to celebrate with Josh. We had the best 5 days there, but jesus christ on a bike, was it hot. We arrived in the height of a 40 degree heatwave and, I have to say, I don't think either of us have ever sweated so much, or drank so much water, in our entire lives haha. What a great first holiday to remember though ♥

Fast forward to August and the OPI campaign I shot last year drops and my face is all over the new A/W19 Edinburgh collection. It was such a long wait, anticipating how the campaign would turn out, but I was so happy to finally see it all and it reminds me of one of the best jobs I've ever had the privilege of working on.


In August, I also made the decision to leave my modelling agency. It had been something I'd thought over and over for the last year, and I finally decided it was time to leave it behind and focus more on me for a while. It's definitely done me the world of good (and saved me a lot of money on travel haha) - it's nice to just pick and chose what I get involved in now. I love working on things more locally and experiencing modelling up north a little more. 

With the modelling contract out of the window, I decided it was time for change... on the same day... and I immediately booked a hair appointment and chopped my long ginger locks into a bob.

It felt like a new lease of life - somewhere for me to start over a bit.

"You are free to have peace without knowing what comes next"

By September, Josh and I were celebrating our 1 Year anniversary in Liverpool and I still can't believe he'd put up with me for that long! We spent 3 days indulging in all-you-can-eat breakfasts and 2 for 1 cocktails. 

He's my favourite person in the entire world and I don't know what I'd do without him. The last year wouldn't have been the same if it wasn't for him, at all. ♥

Within a week of our anniversary, we were on our way to Porto for a fleeting trip whilst I modelled for PROF. It was a short but sweet trip, but it was nice to go on another little adventure together and do a tiny bit of sight seeing. It was like our anniversary take two!

November rolled around and I got to spend the day in London with Burberry Beauty. We learnt all about the new releases, including the new Matte Glow Foundation, whilst enjoying the most delicious meal at Thomas' Cafe. We even had a quiz about London (which, obviously, as a Northerner, I lost significantly!) I felt so honored to be invited.

In all honesty - I was a very small fish in a very big pond, so I'll be forever grateful for that experience.

And well, from then, to now, it's just been go, go, go working on other projects and earning my pennies in retail so that I can afford enough espresso martinis over Christmas! 

I truly can't believe how much this year has flown by and it's definitely been a significant year for me despite the lows that have come along with the highs. I feel like I'm in a place where I can finally move forward in 2020 and really figure out who I want to be and where I want my paths to lead.

I mean, I don't have it all figured out, but I'm definitely a portion of the way there, for sure.

Here's to a happy and healthy New Year and taking each day as it comes! Cheers!

"May you always be the one noticing light in the chaos of things"

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The Countdown To Christmas & A Round Up of 2019


Mariah Carey is blaring, the Baileys is being consumed in excess and boxes of Quality Street are being passed around from family member to family member.

I know, I can't believe it either, but Christmas is very nearly here!

2019 has felt like a whirlwind of a year. There's been lots of change for me, and to be honest, despite there being a lot of downs, it's been a year of me *kind of* getting my shit together. It's felt like a year of a lot of liberating decisions, and new experiences, and that's just the sort of thing I think I've needed for a while.

Back in January I worked on amazing project with the Trafford Centre, which saw my face plastered on billboards and scattered around the shopping centre - something I never thought I'd be able to see in the flesh. I've been on billboards before, but always in other places like Paris or New York, so it was really nice to be able to see one, finally, up close and personal! 

The Trafford Centre is a really significant place for me too, as when I was in the depths on my eating disorders, my Mum would get me out of the house for the day by taking me there. Fast forward 5 years and I'm working with them and seeing myself on motorway adverts! I don't think anything will ever quite top that feeling, you know.

In February I traveled down to London for a week to shoot with Marionaudd for 2 days, on top of working with Sister Jane, which was absoloutley dreamy. I got to model along side my pal Kiera, and prance around the quirkiest Notting Hill house, which was so much fun.

I also got to work with two of my favourite people CJ and Christian to shoot some really cool stuff for BOYGIRL AGENCY. I absolutely loved the video we shot - you can watch it HERE over on my Instagram!

"As you notice the ways other people bloom, may you remember the ways you are blooming too"

In March, Josh and I ventured into London together for the first time. It's safe to say we were both very stressed that day, as I rushed from meeting to meeting, but we ended the day on a high with a little trip to the Natural History Museum, which was lovely. *side note - Josh did not enjoy the tube journeys haha.

I also got to work with Bobbi Brown on their Skin Longwear Foundation - you guys know I'm a huge Bobbi Brown stan! Every opportunity I have to work with any brand feels like such an honor and it's especially great when it's one of your all time favourites.

By April, I felt like the busiest girl in the world - constantly in Manchester shooting blog photos or going for brunch. Marta Ferenc and I shot one of my favourite campaigns of all time for Calvin Klein, and managed to get the most perfect 'golden hour' photos. I loved sharing that with you guys! 

I was also invited down for a lovely lunch with Calvin Klein too. We had an amazing 3 course meal and got to have a sneaky look at upcoming collections - what a dream come true!

On May 12th I was so very kindly invited to attend that BAFTAs with Carat London, and honestly I can't even put that experience into words - it was so surreal walking the red carpet and being 'papped' like some sort of celebrity. I wish I could do it all over again!

I remember being stood by Jonathon Ross whilst sipping my champagne, and completely fangirling as David Schwimmer presented an award on stage... I WAS IN THE SAME ROOM AS ROSS GUYS!

BAFTAs aside, in May I also got to go to my first festival ever. Miss Selfridge invited me along to go to Neighborhood Weekender and it was honestly one of my highlights of the year. I had such a laugh that day, drinking with the girls and desperately trying to sign up for the karaoke tent even though the list was full (lol). I just remember having the best time and I'm so grateful I got to be surrounded by such lovely people to experience it. 

I also started my part-time job in May, which may not seem like a big deal, but this was my first ever non-self-employed job that I've ever had. It was the kick up the arse I felt I needed at the time - I'd felt lost in my little bubble, struggling for money when the paid 'ad' work fell flat, and desperately seeking something else. It may just be a retail job, but I've met some of the most amazing people from it, and I'll be forever thankful that I got given the position, despite my hugggeeee lack of experience in the 'real' world.

"It's okay if growth looks differently this season"

In June I hit the ripe old age of 21 and swanned off to Milan to celebrate with Josh. We had the best 5 days there, but jesus christ on a bike, was it hot. We arrived in the height of a 40 degree heatwave and, I have to say, I don't think either of us have ever sweated so much, or drank so much water, in our entire lives haha. What a great first holiday to remember though ♥

Fast forward to August and the OPI campaign I shot last year drops and my face is all over the new A/W19 Edinburgh collection. It was such a long wait, anticipating how the campaign would turn out, but I was so happy to finally see it all and it reminds me of one of the best jobs I've ever had the privilege of working on.


In August, I also made the decision to leave my modelling agency. It had been something I'd thought over and over for the last year, and I finally decided it was time to leave it behind and focus more on me for a while. It's definitely done me the world of good (and saved me a lot of money on travel haha) - it's nice to just pick and chose what I get involved in now. I love working on things more locally and experiencing modelling up north a little more. 

With the modelling contract out of the window, I decided it was time for change... on the same day... and I immediately booked a hair appointment and chopped my long ginger locks into a bob.

It felt like a new lease of life - somewhere for me to start over a bit.

"You are free to have peace without knowing what comes next"

By September, Josh and I were celebrating our 1 Year anniversary in Liverpool and I still can't believe he'd put up with me for that long! We spent 3 days indulging in all-you-can-eat breakfasts and 2 for 1 cocktails. 

He's my favourite person in the entire world and I don't know what I'd do without him. The last year wouldn't have been the same if it wasn't for him, at all. ♥

Within a week of our anniversary, we were on our way to Porto for a fleeting trip whilst I modelled for PROF. It was a short but sweet trip, but it was nice to go on another little adventure together and do a tiny bit of sight seeing. It was like our anniversary take two!

November rolled around and I got to spend the day in London with Burberry Beauty. We learnt all about the new releases, including the new Matte Glow Foundation, whilst enjoying the most delicious meal at Thomas' Cafe. We even had a quiz about London (which, obviously, as a Northerner, I lost significantly!) I felt so honored to be invited.

In all honesty - I was a very small fish in a very big pond, so I'll be forever grateful for that experience.

And well, from then, to now, it's just been go, go, go working on other projects and earning my pennies in retail so that I can afford enough espresso martinis over Christmas! 

I truly can't believe how much this year has flown by and it's definitely been a significant year for me despite the lows that have come along with the highs. I feel like I'm in a place where I can finally move forward in 2020 and really figure out who I want to be and where I want my paths to lead.

I mean, I don't have it all figured out, but I'm definitely a portion of the way there, for sure.

Here's to a happy and healthy New Year and taking each day as it comes! Cheers!

"May you always be the one noticing light in the chaos of things"

Shop the post:


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Christmas is just around the corner (is anyone else prepared, because I'm not!) and with the festive season in mind, I wanted to share with you, Bobbi Brown's 2019 Christmas Collection, which is filled with all the glitzy goodness we hunt for at this time of year.

The collection is made up of lots of Luxe Indulgences, Eye Shadow Palettes and Gift Sets, all of which are perfect for getting party-ready! Today, I thought I'd show you my top favourites and let you know a little bit more about them, let's go...




I kindly received this box of goodies in the post from the lovely Bobbi Brown PR team, and I was super excited to get my hands on the new products and try them out!

The first thing that caught my eye was this amazing 'Luxe Gems Eye Shadow Palette', featuring 7 amazingly sparkly shades - some of which are matte, some are multi-chrome and the others are a rich sparkle. This is a totally great palette for creating multiple different looks - allowing you to combine matte shades and more iridescent shades to create the perfect party eye!

I adore the shades 'Electric Sapphire' and 'Incadescent' the most. The sapphire shade is not something I'd normally grab for, but it just looks so fun, bright and exciting, and I can't wait to have play around with it. I can imagine it looking great paired with a peachy lip colour and a jazzy outfit to tie it altogether too. 'Incadescent' on the other hand, is already a shade that's totally up my street. It's that perfect orangey-pink that pairs perfectly with blue eyes, and is something I can see myself wearing constantly throughout December.



Keeping on the topic of eye shadow palettes, there's also the amazing 'Love In The Afternoon' Palette, which features 8 different shades.

This is definitely one for those neutral lovers out there. This is a great day-to-day palette with it's rosy tones and delicate sparkle. I especially love the shade 'Cocktail Ring', which is that amazing gold-tone sparkly shade you can see pictured above.




Now, for the lipstick lovers of you out there, Bobbi Brown have some absolutely stunning products for you to give a whirl this year. 

We have the gorgeous Luxe Jewel Lipsick in 'Ruby Slipper', which literally had me gasping when I saw it - it's absolutely incredible. It's a jewel inspired shade (hence the name) which has a super creamy formula and pearl particles which catch the light! It's a full coverage lipstick, and is honestly just anyone's dream Christmas shade!

We also have their Luxe Liquid Lip in 'Gold Star 2' . It's the original Luxe Liquid formula but with an added sparkling finish, and in an easy-to-wear peachy gold shade. This is the best product for pairing with other lip products to add that extra bit of 'dazzle'!




The Luxe collection from Bobbi Brown is definitely one of my favourites, so it was great to find some singular eye-shadows and a powder hidden within the box for me to add to my collection. 

The Luxe Illuminating Powder in 'Golden Hour' literally looks like a comfy pillow, which, let's be honest, we'd all happily sleep on! It's a gorgeous pearlescent powder, which helps give the skin a glow along the high points of the face. It's said to be super long-lasting, which means you'll be looking and feeling glowy all day - how fab?!

The Luxe Eyeshadows came in 'Royal Sapphire' and 'Opal Moonstone'. Again, these are super fun shades which come in a 'rich gemstone' texture to give a soft, yet vibrant, look!





If you're looking for a gift set for someone, or simply just need yourself some minis for traveling around with, then there are some absolute gems here.

We have the classic Bobbi Brown Smoky Eye Mascara in a smaller 3ml size, along with some mini Luxe Lip Colours in 'Hibiscus' and 'Desert Rose'. These can come in super handy for throwing in your handbag on the go, or, like I mentioned, can be a great, more affordable gift for someone this Christmas too.

Each gift set on the Bobbi Brown site ranges from £16-£50 depending on your chosen one and are easy to find HERE.



Find all the products mentioned below, and tell me, what is your favourite?


The Bobbi Brown 2019 Christmas Collection

Christmas is just around the corner (is anyone else prepared, because I'm not!) and with the festive season in mind, I wanted to share with you, Bobbi Brown's 2019 Christmas Collection, which is filled with all the glitzy goodness we hunt for at this time of year.

The collection is made up of lots of Luxe Indulgences, Eye Shadow Palettes and Gift Sets, all of which are perfect for getting party-ready! Today, I thought I'd show you my top favourites and let you know a little bit more about them, let's go...




I kindly received this box of goodies in the post from the lovely Bobbi Brown PR team, and I was super excited to get my hands on the new products and try them out!

The first thing that caught my eye was this amazing 'Luxe Gems Eye Shadow Palette', featuring 7 amazingly sparkly shades - some of which are matte, some are multi-chrome and the others are a rich sparkle. This is a totally great palette for creating multiple different looks - allowing you to combine matte shades and more iridescent shades to create the perfect party eye!

I adore the shades 'Electric Sapphire' and 'Incadescent' the most. The sapphire shade is not something I'd normally grab for, but it just looks so fun, bright and exciting, and I can't wait to have play around with it. I can imagine it looking great paired with a peachy lip colour and a jazzy outfit to tie it altogether too. 'Incadescent' on the other hand, is already a shade that's totally up my street. It's that perfect orangey-pink that pairs perfectly with blue eyes, and is something I can see myself wearing constantly throughout December.



Keeping on the topic of eye shadow palettes, there's also the amazing 'Love In The Afternoon' Palette, which features 8 different shades.

This is definitely one for those neutral lovers out there. This is a great day-to-day palette with it's rosy tones and delicate sparkle. I especially love the shade 'Cocktail Ring', which is that amazing gold-tone sparkly shade you can see pictured above.




Now, for the lipstick lovers of you out there, Bobbi Brown have some absolutely stunning products for you to give a whirl this year. 

We have the gorgeous Luxe Jewel Lipsick in 'Ruby Slipper', which literally had me gasping when I saw it - it's absolutely incredible. It's a jewel inspired shade (hence the name) which has a super creamy formula and pearl particles which catch the light! It's a full coverage lipstick, and is honestly just anyone's dream Christmas shade!

We also have their Luxe Liquid Lip in 'Gold Star 2' . It's the original Luxe Liquid formula but with an added sparkling finish, and in an easy-to-wear peachy gold shade. This is the best product for pairing with other lip products to add that extra bit of 'dazzle'!




The Luxe collection from Bobbi Brown is definitely one of my favourites, so it was great to find some singular eye-shadows and a powder hidden within the box for me to add to my collection. 

The Luxe Illuminating Powder in 'Golden Hour' literally looks like a comfy pillow, which, let's be honest, we'd all happily sleep on! It's a gorgeous pearlescent powder, which helps give the skin a glow along the high points of the face. It's said to be super long-lasting, which means you'll be looking and feeling glowy all day - how fab?!

The Luxe Eyeshadows came in 'Royal Sapphire' and 'Opal Moonstone'. Again, these are super fun shades which come in a 'rich gemstone' texture to give a soft, yet vibrant, look!





If you're looking for a gift set for someone, or simply just need yourself some minis for traveling around with, then there are some absolute gems here.

We have the classic Bobbi Brown Smoky Eye Mascara in a smaller 3ml size, along with some mini Luxe Lip Colours in 'Hibiscus' and 'Desert Rose'. These can come in super handy for throwing in your handbag on the go, or, like I mentioned, can be a great, more affordable gift for someone this Christmas too.

Each gift set on the Bobbi Brown site ranges from £16-£50 depending on your chosen one and are easy to find HERE.



Find all the products mentioned below, and tell me, what is your favourite?


Read more »

This past week or so has been a period of change for me. I've been slowly trying to find myself again - I've felt lost amongst a sea of Bali bikini photos, beautifully shot streets style, and PR events I couldn't make. I've been clinging onto this vice of comparison, and the sudden consciousness of that has been a weight lifted from my shoulders.

I feel like for a really long time, this comparison to others has completely taken over my life and my creativity. I've found myself so off-track, and panicking over what to produce and how to produce it. I've dabbled in so many different styles, yet it's always left me feeling deflated. There's always something making me think my work isn't as good, and up to scratch, as everyone else's.

I don't live in a picturesque city. There are no beautiful backdrops on my door step. It takes a lot of time to produce content if I'm choosing to shoot outdoors - time that I no longer have a lot of and that has lately been consumed by a lot of ups and downs in my own life.

This whole thing has become so obsessive to me. I can spend hours planning out an Instagram feed and 'stalking' other people to see if my work is as good as theirs. It's driven me mad - mad to the point where it's affected my joy of my job, as well as my mental health.

So, with that in mind, I'm trying to strip it back. I'm trying to focus on me, solely me, and what I'm good at. It may not be the most 'perfect' content, but it's mine. It's personal to me, my own lifestyle and I enjoy creating it.

I think that with the pressures of social media these days, it can be hard not to lose yourself. It's so difficult not to be comparing yourself to everything else that's out there. But, I just want my life to feel more lighthearted again. I just want to go back to creating what I love and enjoy doing it at the same time.

I'm just going to do 'Me', and I hope that's okay.

Reclaiming Myself From The Pressures Of Social Media

This past week or so has been a period of change for me. I've been slowly trying to find myself again - I've felt lost amongst a sea of Bali bikini photos, beautifully shot streets style, and PR events I couldn't make. I've been clinging onto this vice of comparison, and the sudden consciousness of that has been a weight lifted from my shoulders.

I feel like for a really long time, this comparison to others has completely taken over my life and my creativity. I've found myself so off-track, and panicking over what to produce and how to produce it. I've dabbled in so many different styles, yet it's always left me feeling deflated. There's always something making me think my work isn't as good, and up to scratch, as everyone else's.

I don't live in a picturesque city. There are no beautiful backdrops on my door step. It takes a lot of time to produce content if I'm choosing to shoot outdoors - time that I no longer have a lot of and that has lately been consumed by a lot of ups and downs in my own life.

This whole thing has become so obsessive to me. I can spend hours planning out an Instagram feed and 'stalking' other people to see if my work is as good as theirs. It's driven me mad - mad to the point where it's affected my joy of my job, as well as my mental health.

So, with that in mind, I'm trying to strip it back. I'm trying to focus on me, solely me, and what I'm good at. It may not be the most 'perfect' content, but it's mine. It's personal to me, my own lifestyle and I enjoy creating it.

I think that with the pressures of social media these days, it can be hard not to lose yourself. It's so difficult not to be comparing yourself to everything else that's out there. But, I just want my life to feel more lighthearted again. I just want to go back to creating what I love and enjoy doing it at the same time.

I'm just going to do 'Me', and I hope that's okay.
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*trigger warning*

I feel like it's been a while since I've sat here and opened up to you guys. I mean, that has been the premise of this platform for such a long time, you know? A place for me to share my experiences and put my thoughts out there into the world - a place which felt safe for me to open up. Lately however, I've found myself lost for words, with hardly anything to type out onto this blank page before me. I guess you could say I've been uninspired, had writers block, or any of the usual reasonings, but the reality is, that life has just felt very heavy as of late.

Everything from waking up in a morning, to making a cup of tea, to trying to sleep at night, has felt exhausting. All of the usual things that brought me joy seem to have faded into the background and I've just been floating about, trying to piece it all back together.

It's not an unfamiliar feeling, not at all, but the weight that it has planted on me is something comparable to an elephant being sat on my chest.


I've felt kind of alone with it all, and not because I haven't got good people around me, because I do, but more because it's such a confusing feeling to explain.

As with anything mental health related, all experiences are unique, so despite having had these feelings before, the encounter with it feels entirely different. And, well, that doesn't make it easy to explain to people how I'm feeling... especially when I barely understand it myself.

I suppose that's why I'm writing this now.

With that in mind, I guess it's difficult to explain to others how you feel when they only have their own experiences themselves to go off. I can't expect someone who's also had depression to have had the exact same timeline as me and have the answer to all of my problems. I especially can't expect the people around me to understand my eating disorders when they themselves have never had an issue like that.

It's such a complex thing, and ideally there would be one straight answer of how to fix all mental health issues, but life doesn't work that way.

It's felt confusing for a while that, when I do pluck up the guts to open up and talk to people, they don't really 'get' it. No one can really pin-point or define what I'm feeling. Honestly though, I really don't expect people to understand. It's not an easy thing for me to lay down in simple terms. I mean, it's normally a situation where I'm just blurting out suppressed emotion, so it never really makes any sense.

I think it's become easier and easier to conceal from people because of that. It feels less complicated to keep it to myself sometimes, but I know that's not the right thing to do.


To put it as plain and simple as I possibly can, right here, right now... I would say I'm somewhere amidst a relapse. I've felt unmotivated, low, anxious, unable to eat, not wanting to eat, not eating, aware of my weight, trying to lose weight, losing weight, confused, scared, and all of what's inbetween. I've felt as if I'm in some weird bubble that has managed to trap me inside and I'm really struggling to break free. I've felt completely suffocated by my own thoughts, and spend most days going back-and-forth arguing with myself over whether to eat, sleep, get dressed etc.

I mean, at first I thought I knew where this was coming from. I thought it was the same thing as always (my everlasting self loathing, of course) but there have been so many ups, downs and curve-balls this year, that there just seems to be more to it this time.

I feel a lot of things that I've felt before, like the need to starve myself or the heavy weight of depression lingering over me, but there's this underlying emptiness which I can't even define as either of those things. It feels so peculiar and confusing, that I almost feel like I'm floating above my own life.

Well, maybe I have felt it before, but just don't remember? I mean, there's a lot I don't really remember from 4 years ago.

I can feel myself falling back into old habits and thinking things I've not had to battle with in a long time. My world has become a sea of calories, weight and seeking validation again, and I keep finding myself avoiding social situations - hiding out in my house for as long as I can. It's got a sickening 'homely' feeling to it all.


The good thing, I suppose, is that I know it's happening. I always think that as long as I can feel myself falling, then there's no reason why I can't pick myself back up again. But it's always an up hill battle. It's never an easy thing to pick yourself back up and dust yourself off. I can't just click a switch in my brain and change things back to how they were - I've got to go through the whole process of reprogramming myself, and that's sometimes the most daunting part.


It feels silly to typing a lot of this, honestly. To a lot of people, my life has just been carrying on as normal, particularly if you follow me on any social media. You're probably looking at my page and thinking 'this girl's not sad!', but that's the horrible truth about the internet sometimes... the internet isn't real life, and my real life is no where near as picturesque as my Instagram account might seem.

I think it's so easy for people to just put on a smile sometimes and get on with things, I know that is for me. I just head off to work, click a switch and the 'show' begins. All my energy goes into pretending that I'm okay. I guess I've got a knack for suppressing things. But, especially when it comes to portraying myself on the internet, it's not difficult to press a couple of buttons on an app and post a happy smiley photo. I mean, 90% of the time that I've recently posted on anything, I've been lay in bed all day, crying, struggling to muster the energy to do anything else at all.

It's weird to think that you really only know so much about someone from a couple of photos on the internet. I think we all need to remember that more often.


But, yeah, I'm in a weird place right now. I'm in a limbo between completely losing myself to my thoughts, or fighting back with what little energy I do have. It's weird to know I'm aware of it, and also kind of terrifying. There are so many thoughts swirling round my head all the time, I'm not sure what to listen to.

It's felt good to get it off my chest, nonetheless... even if it is quite liberally on the internet, for whoever to see, but maybe me writing this can help someone who feels the same right now... I don't know.

Life Lately

*trigger warning*

I feel like it's been a while since I've sat here and opened up to you guys. I mean, that has been the premise of this platform for such a long time, you know? A place for me to share my experiences and put my thoughts out there into the world - a place which felt safe for me to open up. Lately however, I've found myself lost for words, with hardly anything to type out onto this blank page before me. I guess you could say I've been uninspired, had writers block, or any of the usual reasonings, but the reality is, that life has just felt very heavy as of late.

Everything from waking up in a morning, to making a cup of tea, to trying to sleep at night, has felt exhausting. All of the usual things that brought me joy seem to have faded into the background and I've just been floating about, trying to piece it all back together.

It's not an unfamiliar feeling, not at all, but the weight that it has planted on me is something comparable to an elephant being sat on my chest.


I've felt kind of alone with it all, and not because I haven't got good people around me, because I do, but more because it's such a confusing feeling to explain.

As with anything mental health related, all experiences are unique, so despite having had these feelings before, the encounter with it feels entirely different. And, well, that doesn't make it easy to explain to people how I'm feeling... especially when I barely understand it myself.

I suppose that's why I'm writing this now.

With that in mind, I guess it's difficult to explain to others how you feel when they only have their own experiences themselves to go off. I can't expect someone who's also had depression to have had the exact same timeline as me and have the answer to all of my problems. I especially can't expect the people around me to understand my eating disorders when they themselves have never had an issue like that.

It's such a complex thing, and ideally there would be one straight answer of how to fix all mental health issues, but life doesn't work that way.

It's felt confusing for a while that, when I do pluck up the guts to open up and talk to people, they don't really 'get' it. No one can really pin-point or define what I'm feeling. Honestly though, I really don't expect people to understand. It's not an easy thing for me to lay down in simple terms. I mean, it's normally a situation where I'm just blurting out suppressed emotion, so it never really makes any sense.

I think it's become easier and easier to conceal from people because of that. It feels less complicated to keep it to myself sometimes, but I know that's not the right thing to do.


To put it as plain and simple as I possibly can, right here, right now... I would say I'm somewhere amidst a relapse. I've felt unmotivated, low, anxious, unable to eat, not wanting to eat, not eating, aware of my weight, trying to lose weight, losing weight, confused, scared, and all of what's inbetween. I've felt as if I'm in some weird bubble that has managed to trap me inside and I'm really struggling to break free. I've felt completely suffocated by my own thoughts, and spend most days going back-and-forth arguing with myself over whether to eat, sleep, get dressed etc.

I mean, at first I thought I knew where this was coming from. I thought it was the same thing as always (my everlasting self loathing, of course) but there have been so many ups, downs and curve-balls this year, that there just seems to be more to it this time.

I feel a lot of things that I've felt before, like the need to starve myself or the heavy weight of depression lingering over me, but there's this underlying emptiness which I can't even define as either of those things. It feels so peculiar and confusing, that I almost feel like I'm floating above my own life.

Well, maybe I have felt it before, but just don't remember? I mean, there's a lot I don't really remember from 4 years ago.

I can feel myself falling back into old habits and thinking things I've not had to battle with in a long time. My world has become a sea of calories, weight and seeking validation again, and I keep finding myself avoiding social situations - hiding out in my house for as long as I can. It's got a sickening 'homely' feeling to it all.


The good thing, I suppose, is that I know it's happening. I always think that as long as I can feel myself falling, then there's no reason why I can't pick myself back up again. But it's always an up hill battle. It's never an easy thing to pick yourself back up and dust yourself off. I can't just click a switch in my brain and change things back to how they were - I've got to go through the whole process of reprogramming myself, and that's sometimes the most daunting part.


It feels silly to typing a lot of this, honestly. To a lot of people, my life has just been carrying on as normal, particularly if you follow me on any social media. You're probably looking at my page and thinking 'this girl's not sad!', but that's the horrible truth about the internet sometimes... the internet isn't real life, and my real life is no where near as picturesque as my Instagram account might seem.

I think it's so easy for people to just put on a smile sometimes and get on with things, I know that is for me. I just head off to work, click a switch and the 'show' begins. All my energy goes into pretending that I'm okay. I guess I've got a knack for suppressing things. But, especially when it comes to portraying myself on the internet, it's not difficult to press a couple of buttons on an app and post a happy smiley photo. I mean, 90% of the time that I've recently posted on anything, I've been lay in bed all day, crying, struggling to muster the energy to do anything else at all.

It's weird to think that you really only know so much about someone from a couple of photos on the internet. I think we all need to remember that more often.


But, yeah, I'm in a weird place right now. I'm in a limbo between completely losing myself to my thoughts, or fighting back with what little energy I do have. It's weird to know I'm aware of it, and also kind of terrifying. There are so many thoughts swirling round my head all the time, I'm not sure what to listen to.

It's felt good to get it off my chest, nonetheless... even if it is quite liberally on the internet, for whoever to see, but maybe me writing this can help someone who feels the same right now... I don't know.

Read more »

Lately I've been loving our slow shift into the autumn season, and it's had me thinking about all of the pieces in my wardrobe, and what kind of things are missing in order to create the perfect transitional looks.

For me, A/W is all about layering; it's about big chunky knits and long coats, but also midi skirts and little woolen berets for the slighter warmer days too.

I love how through September - February we're able to experiment with style so much more, adding in different tones and textures, and re-working pieces from summer's past, into looks that work equally as well for chilly temperatures.

Recently, I was sent a few pieces by Nasty Gal, one of which was this gorgeous black tee dress, that has had me obsessed with planning how to style it ever since it arrived. It was just the kind of thing I had felt had been missing from my collection and it's sparked so many ideas that have me super excited to move into the next couple of months.


DRESS - NASTY GAL [GIFTED]

It's a piece that's perfect for the British Summer, you know?...not too 'little' that you're too cold, but not too 'much' that it's going to make you too warm? Yet it's also something I'd definitely want to work into my A/W wardrobe too. I guess it's just the perfect balance of everything (plus it's super comfortable and easy to throw on, what a dream!!)

This dress has had me thinking of all the different ways that simple pieces like this can be worked and styled, and it's got my brain spinning into an outfit planning frenzy.

I mean, it's nothing new to say that basic pieces are the easiest to be worn all year round, but it's a piece like this that just works so well for layering and adding textures to.

This Nasty Gal dress is a very wearable Polyester, which I know isn't everyone's favourite, but go with me here. It's an affordable price (only £15 right now... bargain!!) and can be worn loose and flowy, or be pinched in at the waist using the little material belt it comes with, or any belt for that matter. It looks chic and effortless, and you really can't go wrong with a LBD, right? It's just an easy-going, comfortable piece, with a very simple composition, which is perfect for adding to and dressing up or down.


I can picture this looking super elegant and sophisticated styled with a long navy duster coat and some heeled black boots, or if you prefer a more 'edgy' look, Dr. Martens would look amazing too. I can also see this working nicely with a chunky knit thrown over the top, and the little roll neck from the dress peeking through. The long length of the dress makes for a casual yet, put-together vibe and a beret would also be the perfect thing to channel some Parisian-chic into a look with this dress!

The beauty of it is, that this dress is just great on it's own too. As I stood shooting this, channeling my inner J-Lo and Angelina Jolie, I found I was getting so many glances (could have been because I was stood Vogue-ing in front of a library, but I'm going to put it down to the dress) and it made my very happy to know that a simple black dress is still as powerful as it always has been.

All in all, I just think tee dresses are the perfect staple for the weather we're having right now. Whether it's 21 degrees one day, or 13 the next, it's the kind of piece that's going to be easy to throw on and work around.

If you want to grab yourself a staple tee dress too, simply have a browse below:


The Tee Dress That Works For Every Season

Lately I've been loving our slow shift into the autumn season, and it's had me thinking about all of the pieces in my wardrobe, and what kind of things are missing in order to create the perfect transitional looks.

For me, A/W is all about layering; it's about big chunky knits and long coats, but also midi skirts and little woolen berets for the slighter warmer days too.

I love how through September - February we're able to experiment with style so much more, adding in different tones and textures, and re-working pieces from summer's past, into looks that work equally as well for chilly temperatures.

Recently, I was sent a few pieces by Nasty Gal, one of which was this gorgeous black tee dress, that has had me obsessed with planning how to style it ever since it arrived. It was just the kind of thing I had felt had been missing from my collection and it's sparked so many ideas that have me super excited to move into the next couple of months.


DRESS - NASTY GAL [GIFTED]

It's a piece that's perfect for the British Summer, you know?...not too 'little' that you're too cold, but not too 'much' that it's going to make you too warm? Yet it's also something I'd definitely want to work into my A/W wardrobe too. I guess it's just the perfect balance of everything (plus it's super comfortable and easy to throw on, what a dream!!)

This dress has had me thinking of all the different ways that simple pieces like this can be worked and styled, and it's got my brain spinning into an outfit planning frenzy.

I mean, it's nothing new to say that basic pieces are the easiest to be worn all year round, but it's a piece like this that just works so well for layering and adding textures to.

This Nasty Gal dress is a very wearable Polyester, which I know isn't everyone's favourite, but go with me here. It's an affordable price (only £15 right now... bargain!!) and can be worn loose and flowy, or be pinched in at the waist using the little material belt it comes with, or any belt for that matter. It looks chic and effortless, and you really can't go wrong with a LBD, right? It's just an easy-going, comfortable piece, with a very simple composition, which is perfect for adding to and dressing up or down.


I can picture this looking super elegant and sophisticated styled with a long navy duster coat and some heeled black boots, or if you prefer a more 'edgy' look, Dr. Martens would look amazing too. I can also see this working nicely with a chunky knit thrown over the top, and the little roll neck from the dress peeking through. The long length of the dress makes for a casual yet, put-together vibe and a beret would also be the perfect thing to channel some Parisian-chic into a look with this dress!

The beauty of it is, that this dress is just great on it's own too. As I stood shooting this, channeling my inner J-Lo and Angelina Jolie, I found I was getting so many glances (could have been because I was stood Vogue-ing in front of a library, but I'm going to put it down to the dress) and it made my very happy to know that a simple black dress is still as powerful as it always has been.

All in all, I just think tee dresses are the perfect staple for the weather we're having right now. Whether it's 21 degrees one day, or 13 the next, it's the kind of piece that's going to be easy to throw on and work around.

If you want to grab yourself a staple tee dress too, simply have a browse below:


Read more »

For some reason, as of late, I seem to have reverted back to a place where I channel an incessant need to be liked. Well, maybe 'liked' is the wrong word, but at least the need to not upset or irritate people.

I've always thought of myself as quite an annoying person - the person in the group who never *quite* knows what to say, or never really *quite* understands what's going on. I get anxious in social situations, not even being able to answer a simple "what've you been up to?" without replying "not much" out of panic, even though I've spent my week busying around, or actually doing a lot more than 'not much'. I just don't want to bore people, or stumble on my words whilst telling a story. There seems to be nothing worse to me than rambling on to people who probably don't care about the emails I've had, or the fact that I've had my photo taken for a millionth time this week...

I mean, maybe this is just due to some heightened anxiety recently, but I've felt I've been overcompensating for a lot. I seem to constantly have this urge to hide a weakened side of myself, pasting over it with a giggly character, who probably actually ends up being more irritating than my normal personality. Well, don't get me wrong, I've always been a little bit goofy and say silly things, but there's currently this voice in the back of my head, which is always spurring me on to try and be funny, or pressuring me to not be left out of things.


JUMPER - & OTHER STORIES // BAG - THRIFTED

I never used to be like that (well, not for a long time anyway). I'd reached a point where I really didn't mind if someone didn't like me. Not everyone's going to be your number 1 fan, right? I was happy floating along, being exactly who I was, not worrying over whether people thought I was weird, or didn't like my outfits, so this constant desire to not piss people off feels quite peculiar.

For me, the incessant need to be liked was something from my school days. I always wanted like 'popular' girls to like me, the boys to fancy me and the teachers to think I was succeeding. It was a personality trait that pushed my mental health into a spiral and left me clawing my way out of some weird dark hole I'd unintentionally pushed myself into.

From that I'd learnt it was trait I no longer needed, nor wanted. Something in my brain clicked and I realised the only person that I should be *that* concerned about, was myself. The fact that I'd spent about 9 years worrying myself over the opinions of other people felt ridiculous, and it was kind of a point in my life where (and not to be too symbolic here...) I set myself free.

Like I said, I've been anxious lately, so I'm kind of putting it down to that, but I've also made a lot of changes in my life this year and, because of that, have met a lot of new people. Maybe it's a case of me panicking over some fresh new slate that I have to paste my personality out onto again? Maybe I feel the need to 'recreate' myself somehow?

 With starting a new job and leaving my agency, I guess I've opened myself back up to some thoughts and emotions that I'd closed off before. It feels strange to have regressed back to such a place, but it's not not plausible.

Whatever it is, it's completely draining, and it's not something I want to continue feeling.


SHOES - TOPSHOP

All in all, I have been having an odd time of it lately. Lots of things in my life have lead to more anxiety, more struggles with food and more worries over my appearance, so maybe it's just a case of rewiring my brain again to get back to that more 'care free' place.

No one wants to go through life fretting over what other people think - nobody has time for that. And, I certainly don't want to default back into the way I felt during high school (dear god, NO).

I think even just writing this out has given me some perspective, so hopefully I can feel back to my unworried self soon enough.

Shop the look:


The Need To Be 'Liked'

For some reason, as of late, I seem to have reverted back to a place where I channel an incessant need to be liked. Well, maybe 'liked' is the wrong word, but at least the need to not upset or irritate people.

I've always thought of myself as quite an annoying person - the person in the group who never *quite* knows what to say, or never really *quite* understands what's going on. I get anxious in social situations, not even being able to answer a simple "what've you been up to?" without replying "not much" out of panic, even though I've spent my week busying around, or actually doing a lot more than 'not much'. I just don't want to bore people, or stumble on my words whilst telling a story. There seems to be nothing worse to me than rambling on to people who probably don't care about the emails I've had, or the fact that I've had my photo taken for a millionth time this week...

I mean, maybe this is just due to some heightened anxiety recently, but I've felt I've been overcompensating for a lot. I seem to constantly have this urge to hide a weakened side of myself, pasting over it with a giggly character, who probably actually ends up being more irritating than my normal personality. Well, don't get me wrong, I've always been a little bit goofy and say silly things, but there's currently this voice in the back of my head, which is always spurring me on to try and be funny, or pressuring me to not be left out of things.


JUMPER - & OTHER STORIES // BAG - THRIFTED

I never used to be like that (well, not for a long time anyway). I'd reached a point where I really didn't mind if someone didn't like me. Not everyone's going to be your number 1 fan, right? I was happy floating along, being exactly who I was, not worrying over whether people thought I was weird, or didn't like my outfits, so this constant desire to not piss people off feels quite peculiar.

For me, the incessant need to be liked was something from my school days. I always wanted like 'popular' girls to like me, the boys to fancy me and the teachers to think I was succeeding. It was a personality trait that pushed my mental health into a spiral and left me clawing my way out of some weird dark hole I'd unintentionally pushed myself into.

From that I'd learnt it was trait I no longer needed, nor wanted. Something in my brain clicked and I realised the only person that I should be *that* concerned about, was myself. The fact that I'd spent about 9 years worrying myself over the opinions of other people felt ridiculous, and it was kind of a point in my life where (and not to be too symbolic here...) I set myself free.

Like I said, I've been anxious lately, so I'm kind of putting it down to that, but I've also made a lot of changes in my life this year and, because of that, have met a lot of new people. Maybe it's a case of me panicking over some fresh new slate that I have to paste my personality out onto again? Maybe I feel the need to 'recreate' myself somehow?

 With starting a new job and leaving my agency, I guess I've opened myself back up to some thoughts and emotions that I'd closed off before. It feels strange to have regressed back to such a place, but it's not not plausible.

Whatever it is, it's completely draining, and it's not something I want to continue feeling.


SHOES - TOPSHOP

All in all, I have been having an odd time of it lately. Lots of things in my life have lead to more anxiety, more struggles with food and more worries over my appearance, so maybe it's just a case of rewiring my brain again to get back to that more 'care free' place.

No one wants to go through life fretting over what other people think - nobody has time for that. And, I certainly don't want to default back into the way I felt during high school (dear god, NO).

I think even just writing this out has given me some perspective, so hopefully I can feel back to my unworried self soon enough.

Shop the look:


Read more »

"Life is too short to wear boring dresses"




shot by Lauren Weare 



Shop the dress HERE

The Kai 'Bea' Dress

"Life is too short to wear boring dresses"




shot by Lauren Weare 



Shop the dress HERE
Read more »
Until this year, I honestly don't think I had ever really listened to a podcast before (I know, where have I been, right?) but then in came these amazing series, which I just could not resist putting on every time I had some admin or errands to do - they became my first port-of-call when it came to listening to something, even before clicking on my latest Spotify playlist.

I know of some amazing women in this community of creatives, and with a couple of them starting podcasts, and discussing topics which have really helped me feel less alone, or even opened my mind up to new things, I couldn't resist giving them a mention here on my blog.

So, let's see what's been taking up all my spare time, shall we? 

Things You Can't Ask Yer Mum

This podcast by Lindsey Holland and Lizzy Hadfield was the first I ever listened to, and, oh boy, was I hooked instantly.

In this series, these two talented ladies discuss, as you may have guessed from the title, all the things you may not normally ask your mum. This ranges from sex, to grief, to relationships (including friendships) and tackles topics in such a fun, yet analytic and understanding way, and really takes you from one emotion to another.

The first episode had me holding in my laughter on public transport, then there are moments in other episodes which have made me shed tears, and had me listening intently as I've learnt from their experiences and stories.

It's the icing on the cake that these two are the perfect pair for something like this. It's like you're out for lunch with your two best mates, having a good ol' chinwag, and there's something oddly comforting about listening to them chat away (it might be the Northerner in me, who knows? haha)

As someone who's always adored both Lindsey's and Lizzy's work from a blogger perspective, it's so wonderful to have this podcast that let's you get to know the two of them more on a deeper level, rather than just looking at their style and wishing I was as effortlessly cool as them both (seriously, have you seen these girls?!)

It's a truly wonderful podcast, and I can't wait for the second series of episodes to come out so I have something to giggle at on my morning commute again!

Listen HERE


On The Outskirts

Moving onto two other amazing ladies, who honestly are some of the most lovely and down to earth ladies I ever had the pleasure of meeting, it's Alice Catherine's and Sophia Rosemary's podcast, 'On The Outskirts'.

In this series Alice and Sophia discuss all things social media, body image, praising women, as well as chatting away about their current favourite tv series, festivals and, a good ol' British favourite, the weather!

I often find myself listening to their episodes as I potter round my house, tidying my room, making lists, and I always end up giggling away, and once again, just feeling like I'm having a lovely natter with my pals.

I really love the way these two discuss blogger culture, and the world of social media, as it's something I too am dealing with, as we roll with the punches of the ever changing algorithms and Instagram culture.

These girls have the ability to voice so much of what's going round in my own mind, whilst also opening my mind to new things and new perspectives, and I think that's really wonderful.

If you're a fan of inclusive, honest chats, and are also a blogger living outside of the London bubble, then this one is for you.

Listen HERE


Listen Louder

 Last but not least, we have a podcast for all those interested in discussions about Mental Health. Megan (Wonderful You) has been one of my favourite bloggers for a really long time. I adore her honesty in everything she creates, and the way in which she tackles tough subjects in such a caring and compassionate way.

This podcast features real conversations, with weekly guests, aiming to break down the stigma around mental health and help others feel less alone with what they're dealing with... and that's truly the beauty of this podcast.

As someone who has struggled with their own mental health, podcasts/blog posts/poems - anything of that ilk - are something that have really helped me to feel more connected with others and make me realise that I'm not so solus in what I am dealing with. In particular, the way that these discussion touch upon different variations of anxiety, depression and body image, have made me feel so comforted.

Megan, as well as being an amazing content creator in general, is the perfect host for this kind of thing. She's kind, caring, willing to open up and help others open up - she's the perfect voice to lead an audience into a better understanding of our minds.

This podcast truly is the safe space everyone needs and I can't wait to listen to more of the episodes and delve deeper into the understanding of both mine and other people's emotions.

Listen HERE

3 Podcasts I've Been Listening To, And You Should Too
Until this year, I honestly don't think I had ever really listened to a podcast before (I know, where have I been, right?) but then in came these amazing series, which I just could not resist putting on every time I had some admin or errands to do - they became my first port-of-call when it came to listening to something, even before clicking on my latest Spotify playlist.

I know of some amazing women in this community of creatives, and with a couple of them starting podcasts, and discussing topics which have really helped me feel less alone, or even opened my mind up to new things, I couldn't resist giving them a mention here on my blog.

So, let's see what's been taking up all my spare time, shall we? 

Things You Can't Ask Yer Mum

This podcast by Lindsey Holland and Lizzy Hadfield was the first I ever listened to, and, oh boy, was I hooked instantly.

In this series, these two talented ladies discuss, as you may have guessed from the title, all the things you may not normally ask your mum. This ranges from sex, to grief, to relationships (including friendships) and tackles topics in such a fun, yet analytic and understanding way, and really takes you from one emotion to another.

The first episode had me holding in my laughter on public transport, then there are moments in other episodes which have made me shed tears, and had me listening intently as I've learnt from their experiences and stories.

It's the icing on the cake that these two are the perfect pair for something like this. It's like you're out for lunch with your two best mates, having a good ol' chinwag, and there's something oddly comforting about listening to them chat away (it might be the Northerner in me, who knows? haha)

As someone who's always adored both Lindsey's and Lizzy's work from a blogger perspective, it's so wonderful to have this podcast that let's you get to know the two of them more on a deeper level, rather than just looking at their style and wishing I was as effortlessly cool as them both (seriously, have you seen these girls?!)

It's a truly wonderful podcast, and I can't wait for the second series of episodes to come out so I have something to giggle at on my morning commute again!

Listen HERE


On The Outskirts

Moving onto two other amazing ladies, who honestly are some of the most lovely and down to earth ladies I ever had the pleasure of meeting, it's Alice Catherine's and Sophia Rosemary's podcast, 'On The Outskirts'.

In this series Alice and Sophia discuss all things social media, body image, praising women, as well as chatting away about their current favourite tv series, festivals and, a good ol' British favourite, the weather!

I often find myself listening to their episodes as I potter round my house, tidying my room, making lists, and I always end up giggling away, and once again, just feeling like I'm having a lovely natter with my pals.

I really love the way these two discuss blogger culture, and the world of social media, as it's something I too am dealing with, as we roll with the punches of the ever changing algorithms and Instagram culture.

These girls have the ability to voice so much of what's going round in my own mind, whilst also opening my mind to new things and new perspectives, and I think that's really wonderful.

If you're a fan of inclusive, honest chats, and are also a blogger living outside of the London bubble, then this one is for you.

Listen HERE


Listen Louder

 Last but not least, we have a podcast for all those interested in discussions about Mental Health. Megan (Wonderful You) has been one of my favourite bloggers for a really long time. I adore her honesty in everything she creates, and the way in which she tackles tough subjects in such a caring and compassionate way.

This podcast features real conversations, with weekly guests, aiming to break down the stigma around mental health and help others feel less alone with what they're dealing with... and that's truly the beauty of this podcast.

As someone who has struggled with their own mental health, podcasts/blog posts/poems - anything of that ilk - are something that have really helped me to feel more connected with others and make me realise that I'm not so solus in what I am dealing with. In particular, the way that these discussion touch upon different variations of anxiety, depression and body image, have made me feel so comforted.

Megan, as well as being an amazing content creator in general, is the perfect host for this kind of thing. She's kind, caring, willing to open up and help others open up - she's the perfect voice to lead an audience into a better understanding of our minds.

This podcast truly is the safe space everyone needs and I can't wait to listen to more of the episodes and delve deeper into the understanding of both mine and other people's emotions.

Listen HERE
Read more »

I thought I'd bring in the bank holiday by chatting to you all about this look I wore yesterday, as the heat wave was upon us and I had not packed correctly for the weather when travelling to Josh's for the weekend...doh!

This was a very last minute outfit that I actually ended up loving A LOT. There's something about summer dressing that I've found difficult this year - I keep feeling as if my style isn't made for the warmer days and always end up opting for the safe option of a dress and sandals, but I don't want the weather to stop me from getting creative with my style, you know?




SHIRT - THRIFTED // SHORTS - GHOSPELL [GIFT]

I had chucked this white shirt in my bag after picking it up from a charity shop for just £3(!!) and had planned to maybe wear it to work on Monday, but waking up on Saturday morning, I knew I had to throw something together that wasn't going to make me melt into a puddle wearing it. Luckily I had left these fabulous Ghospell shorts behind at Josh's house recently too, so with my white shirt in hand, and shorts at the ready, I knew this was going to be a fail safe option. (I mean, I can't go wrong with light weight materials and shorts when it's 30 degrees outside, right?)




BELT - ASOS // TRAINERS - MISS SELFRIDGE [GIFT] // BRALETTE - B.TEMPT'D [GIFT]

I paired the two with my trusty Miss Selfridge trainers, which I had recently dug out of the abyss of shoes in my wardrobe and they've now become my day-to-day shoe, as well as my favourite polka-dot ASOS belt, which I actually flipped backwards to create this cool monochromatic belt situation (how had I not done that before? I think it looks so cool!).

 I thought tying up the shirt with this gorgeous B.tempt'd Lace Kiss Bralette underneath was a really nice touch, and kind of gave me 'hot girl summer' vibes (a proper confidence boost outfit too!)




BAG - PAUL'S BOUTIQUE [GIFT] // WATCH - CLUSE [GIFT]

Last but not least, I have to give my new Paul's Boutique bag a mention. This is the GiGi Shoulder Bag in Green and I'm absolutely obsessed with it.

It's the perfect shopper/tote bag, with so much room inside for me to carry all of junk round with me. I love the croc material and the gold metal details (goes so well with my Cluse Watch and other gold gems!) - it's got a luxurious feel to it which I really like - and it's just the kind of bag I've been after for so so long. PLUS, I'm obsessed with the colour green right now, so this is a bag dream come true!


I just loved wearing this outfit, and I couldn't not share it, so... voila! ♥

White Shirts & Sunny Heatwaves

I thought I'd bring in the bank holiday by chatting to you all about this look I wore yesterday, as the heat wave was upon us and I had not packed correctly for the weather when travelling to Josh's for the weekend...doh!

This was a very last minute outfit that I actually ended up loving A LOT. There's something about summer dressing that I've found difficult this year - I keep feeling as if my style isn't made for the warmer days and always end up opting for the safe option of a dress and sandals, but I don't want the weather to stop me from getting creative with my style, you know?




SHIRT - THRIFTED // SHORTS - GHOSPELL [GIFT]

I had chucked this white shirt in my bag after picking it up from a charity shop for just £3(!!) and had planned to maybe wear it to work on Monday, but waking up on Saturday morning, I knew I had to throw something together that wasn't going to make me melt into a puddle wearing it. Luckily I had left these fabulous Ghospell shorts behind at Josh's house recently too, so with my white shirt in hand, and shorts at the ready, I knew this was going to be a fail safe option. (I mean, I can't go wrong with light weight materials and shorts when it's 30 degrees outside, right?)




BELT - ASOS // TRAINERS - MISS SELFRIDGE [GIFT] // BRALETTE - B.TEMPT'D [GIFT]

I paired the two with my trusty Miss Selfridge trainers, which I had recently dug out of the abyss of shoes in my wardrobe and they've now become my day-to-day shoe, as well as my favourite polka-dot ASOS belt, which I actually flipped backwards to create this cool monochromatic belt situation (how had I not done that before? I think it looks so cool!).

 I thought tying up the shirt with this gorgeous B.tempt'd Lace Kiss Bralette underneath was a really nice touch, and kind of gave me 'hot girl summer' vibes (a proper confidence boost outfit too!)




BAG - PAUL'S BOUTIQUE [GIFT] // WATCH - CLUSE [GIFT]

Last but not least, I have to give my new Paul's Boutique bag a mention. This is the GiGi Shoulder Bag in Green and I'm absolutely obsessed with it.

It's the perfect shopper/tote bag, with so much room inside for me to carry all of junk round with me. I love the croc material and the gold metal details (goes so well with my Cluse Watch and other gold gems!) - it's got a luxurious feel to it which I really like - and it's just the kind of bag I've been after for so so long. PLUS, I'm obsessed with the colour green right now, so this is a bag dream come true!


I just loved wearing this outfit, and I couldn't not share it, so... voila! ♥

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"I find it really difficult to open up to others about my mental health and the thoughts I'm having. I don't want to burden them with how I'm feeling, or worry them, but I feel SO alone with my thoughts. Do you have any advice for this? I don't even know where to start."

 This question really struck a chord with me, as I've not been feeling too dissimilar lately. The thing with bad mental health is that, we often develop this feeling that we're burdening people - the feeling that no one wants to hear about our problems, that no one will take the time to listen, that no one will understand - and it becomes cemented within us, stopping us from allowing ourselves to open up. There's always that voice inside ourselves that screams 'tell someone how you feel!', but it's like there's a blockage on the way from our brains to our mouths - the idea to speak is there, but the words can't make their way out. I completely empathise with that feeling.

It's not uncommon to feel like this - in fact I would definitely say that every single person I've ever known, who is suffering with their mental health, goes through the exact same thing. Our minds become routined in hiding things away; we become closed off and secretive, and that becomes our 'norm'; so when that little cry for help deep down inside us tries to emerge, we're left with the idea that everything should be suppressed - nothing should be talked about.

However, the thing I've grown to learn is that, that blockage between what we truly want to say and what our minds want us to keep hidden, can be broken down. The first step is finding a situation in which you feel most comfortable about discussing things, or finding a person you trust.

For example, one of my first port-of-calls are my friends - the same might go for you. Find a friend who you feel comfortable with, invite them round for a cuppa or whatever is least-complicated for you to do (I find it's often more comfortable to discuss things in a situation you feel familiar with, or in a space that feels safe) and let them know, in the easiest words you can, how you're feeling or that you might need help.

Easier said than done, of course.

I think that can be the thing sometimes - how are we supposed to explain what's going on in our head's when we barely even understand it ourselves? - we know we want to open up (and I believe that if you're thinking about telling someone what's going on, that's a really good sign in the right direction), but mustering the words can be the hardest part. Mental health is complicated, and generally putting things into words can be really tricky. But, do you know what? Even if everything feels like it's coming out like nonsense, the person listening can still take something away from it. Jumbled words are better than no words, and no one should have to go on struggling by themselves in silence.

Or, if it helps, write things down. I find that sometimes putting your thoughts down on paper can help them feel easier to discuss and to break down - even a simple text can feel more fitting sometimes. Whatever feels most safe and easiest for you to do.

Commonly, as people suffering with things like this, we keep things locked deep down inside, leaving ourselves in turmoil on a day-to-day basis, but having someone around you who can learn to understand and try to help you is honestly so important. And, despite what our minds want to tell us, people just want the best for us. People want us to be okay. I've never had a single person act as if they've been burdened by my opening up to them - there's always support there, and the will to try and understand. Our minds want to make us feel like it's a burden because illnesses habitually like to keep you trapped, but talking about things is the only way we can set ourselves free from that.

If it were the over way round, and it was your friend who was opening up, how would you react? I'm sure you would be telling them the same thing I'm telling you now - let it out, and don't deal with it alone. Sometimes it's good to try and step out and look from an outside perspective, remembering you should treat yourself no differently to how you would treat others.

Anyway, no matter what your mind is telling you, find a way that works for you to get the thoughts out. Let people be there for you - relationships are such a strong power in getting through situations like this.

The Burden Of Opening Up About Our Mental Health

"I find it really difficult to open up to others about my mental health and the thoughts I'm having. I don't want to burden them with how I'm feeling, or worry them, but I feel SO alone with my thoughts. Do you have any advice for this? I don't even know where to start."

 This question really struck a chord with me, as I've not been feeling too dissimilar lately. The thing with bad mental health is that, we often develop this feeling that we're burdening people - the feeling that no one wants to hear about our problems, that no one will take the time to listen, that no one will understand - and it becomes cemented within us, stopping us from allowing ourselves to open up. There's always that voice inside ourselves that screams 'tell someone how you feel!', but it's like there's a blockage on the way from our brains to our mouths - the idea to speak is there, but the words can't make their way out. I completely empathise with that feeling.

It's not uncommon to feel like this - in fact I would definitely say that every single person I've ever known, who is suffering with their mental health, goes through the exact same thing. Our minds become routined in hiding things away; we become closed off and secretive, and that becomes our 'norm'; so when that little cry for help deep down inside us tries to emerge, we're left with the idea that everything should be suppressed - nothing should be talked about.

However, the thing I've grown to learn is that, that blockage between what we truly want to say and what our minds want us to keep hidden, can be broken down. The first step is finding a situation in which you feel most comfortable about discussing things, or finding a person you trust.

For example, one of my first port-of-calls are my friends - the same might go for you. Find a friend who you feel comfortable with, invite them round for a cuppa or whatever is least-complicated for you to do (I find it's often more comfortable to discuss things in a situation you feel familiar with, or in a space that feels safe) and let them know, in the easiest words you can, how you're feeling or that you might need help.

Easier said than done, of course.

I think that can be the thing sometimes - how are we supposed to explain what's going on in our head's when we barely even understand it ourselves? - we know we want to open up (and I believe that if you're thinking about telling someone what's going on, that's a really good sign in the right direction), but mustering the words can be the hardest part. Mental health is complicated, and generally putting things into words can be really tricky. But, do you know what? Even if everything feels like it's coming out like nonsense, the person listening can still take something away from it. Jumbled words are better than no words, and no one should have to go on struggling by themselves in silence.

Or, if it helps, write things down. I find that sometimes putting your thoughts down on paper can help them feel easier to discuss and to break down - even a simple text can feel more fitting sometimes. Whatever feels most safe and easiest for you to do.

Commonly, as people suffering with things like this, we keep things locked deep down inside, leaving ourselves in turmoil on a day-to-day basis, but having someone around you who can learn to understand and try to help you is honestly so important. And, despite what our minds want to tell us, people just want the best for us. People want us to be okay. I've never had a single person act as if they've been burdened by my opening up to them - there's always support there, and the will to try and understand. Our minds want to make us feel like it's a burden because illnesses habitually like to keep you trapped, but talking about things is the only way we can set ourselves free from that.

If it were the over way round, and it was your friend who was opening up, how would you react? I'm sure you would be telling them the same thing I'm telling you now - let it out, and don't deal with it alone. Sometimes it's good to try and step out and look from an outside perspective, remembering you should treat yourself no differently to how you would treat others.

Anyway, no matter what your mind is telling you, find a way that works for you to get the thoughts out. Let people be there for you - relationships are such a strong power in getting through situations like this.
Read more »

Sat, phone in hand, fixating over the number of likes my latest Instagram post had received, and the last hour of my day spent comparing myself to someone else's Explore Page bikini pic, I had a sudden realisation that this whole thing was taking over my life. There wasn't a moment anymore where I didn't feel deflated by the low number of engagement staring back at me from my phone screen, and it dawned on me that I had began reducing myself to a number.

For me, Instagram had always been my creative outlet - never something I dreamed of making money from or having an audience on - it was simply my place to share the things I had created and loved. I was in the early stages of recovering from my eating disorders when I started blogging, and I had found solace in this little app where I could indulge myself in all things fashion and beauty, and even find people, like me, who were in recovery.

Days were made easier by the prospect of being able to wake up and have something to look forward to sharing and as years passed by Instagram became my little online space (along with my blog, of course). It became my daily life - curating, creating and sharing - there was nothing that made me feel more excited than hitting that 'post' button and seeing people's reactions to the things I'd worked hard on. I loved that time of my life - everything about Instagram felt light hearted and in favour of creativity, but at some point in 2018 things began to change, the numbers game began, and I was left feeling completely irrelevant.




That's the thing about social media, you grow to expect certain things out of it, especially as an 'influencer'. You build a following, receive a certain kind of number on your posts and anticipate that that's your regular gig, you know? Except, it's not like that anymore, nothing adds up, the numbers are all jumbled, and yet they're all that seem to have began to matter to us.

After 5 years of blogging, I think it only makes sense for me (and anyone else in the same boat, for that matter) to expect a steady growth in audience, yet the algorithm has brought a holt to that for so many people, beginning to dampen our creativity and breed comparison.

I reached a point where the amount of likes my post would get would impact my mood for the rest of the day (sad right? I know) and I was left scrolling down my feed and pining "Why can't I be her?!", "Why isn't my post being seen?!". That's no way to spend your days, is it? Do I really want something that once brought me so much joy to become the one thing that diminishes all of my confidence?

The answer is, no.

I don't want that to be the way things are.

I miss the days of posting a photo, leaving it behind and then coming back to see lovely comments from fellow creatives or simple supportive messages from my Mum - numbers playing no part in how I felt my work was being received.

I know we can't rewind time, (back to when the Instagram logo was brown or when we purely just posted photos with the 'Ludwig' filter on), but I feel like I can at least try and rewind my mindset.



TROUSERS - THRIFTED // BOOTS - EGO // BAG - SKINNY DIP [GIFT]

So, I decided to clear my mind of numbers, resting assured that my love for creativity still remained, and remembered why I started this whole malarkey in the first place... and that was for my undeniable urge to share what I enjoyed making.

I think that we've all forgotten, in the abyss or Instagram followers, views and likes, that there's a real world out there - a world which is filled with beautiful moments, bright ideas and millions of opportunities (none of which have a like button or a viewer count). And, So what if your most recent post just got 100 likes less than usual? Don't let that stop you going out there, curating new projects, writing new stories and experiencing things. Post things because you love that you made them, not because you're miserably awaiting what the algorithm is going to throw your way that day.

We need to stop changing the way we create in order to please a following or increase our popularity. We're all trying to adjust, alter and warp ourselves into something that the 'gram' wants; what happened to making things from passion or for fun? At some point, we're all going to end up with the same ol' Instagrams filled with the same ol' things. Trying to adapt ourselves is only going to move us further away from what we really want. Stay unique, embrace what is yours, and don't let the algorithm get to your head.

Shop the look:


Why I've Stopped Trying To Beat The Algorithm


Sat, phone in hand, fixating over the number of likes my latest Instagram post had received, and the last hour of my day spent comparing myself to someone else's Explore Page bikini pic, I had a sudden realisation that this whole thing was taking over my life. There wasn't a moment anymore where I didn't feel deflated by the low number of engagement staring back at me from my phone screen, and it dawned on me that I had began reducing myself to a number.

For me, Instagram had always been my creative outlet - never something I dreamed of making money from or having an audience on - it was simply my place to share the things I had created and loved. I was in the early stages of recovering from my eating disorders when I started blogging, and I had found solace in this little app where I could indulge myself in all things fashion and beauty, and even find people, like me, who were in recovery.

Days were made easier by the prospect of being able to wake up and have something to look forward to sharing and as years passed by Instagram became my little online space (along with my blog, of course). It became my daily life - curating, creating and sharing - there was nothing that made me feel more excited than hitting that 'post' button and seeing people's reactions to the things I'd worked hard on. I loved that time of my life - everything about Instagram felt light hearted and in favour of creativity, but at some point in 2018 things began to change, the numbers game began, and I was left feeling completely irrelevant.




That's the thing about social media, you grow to expect certain things out of it, especially as an 'influencer'. You build a following, receive a certain kind of number on your posts and anticipate that that's your regular gig, you know? Except, it's not like that anymore, nothing adds up, the numbers are all jumbled, and yet they're all that seem to have began to matter to us.

After 5 years of blogging, I think it only makes sense for me (and anyone else in the same boat, for that matter) to expect a steady growth in audience, yet the algorithm has brought a holt to that for so many people, beginning to dampen our creativity and breed comparison.

I reached a point where the amount of likes my post would get would impact my mood for the rest of the day (sad right? I know) and I was left scrolling down my feed and pining "Why can't I be her?!", "Why isn't my post being seen?!". That's no way to spend your days, is it? Do I really want something that once brought me so much joy to become the one thing that diminishes all of my confidence?

The answer is, no.

I don't want that to be the way things are.

I miss the days of posting a photo, leaving it behind and then coming back to see lovely comments from fellow creatives or simple supportive messages from my Mum - numbers playing no part in how I felt my work was being received.

I know we can't rewind time, (back to when the Instagram logo was brown or when we purely just posted photos with the 'Ludwig' filter on), but I feel like I can at least try and rewind my mindset.



TROUSERS - THRIFTED // BOOTS - EGO // BAG - SKINNY DIP [GIFT]

So, I decided to clear my mind of numbers, resting assured that my love for creativity still remained, and remembered why I started this whole malarkey in the first place... and that was for my undeniable urge to share what I enjoyed making.

I think that we've all forgotten, in the abyss or Instagram followers, views and likes, that there's a real world out there - a world which is filled with beautiful moments, bright ideas and millions of opportunities (none of which have a like button or a viewer count). And, So what if your most recent post just got 100 likes less than usual? Don't let that stop you going out there, curating new projects, writing new stories and experiencing things. Post things because you love that you made them, not because you're miserably awaiting what the algorithm is going to throw your way that day.

We need to stop changing the way we create in order to please a following or increase our popularity. We're all trying to adjust, alter and warp ourselves into something that the 'gram' wants; what happened to making things from passion or for fun? At some point, we're all going to end up with the same ol' Instagrams filled with the same ol' things. Trying to adapt ourselves is only going to move us further away from what we really want. Stay unique, embrace what is yours, and don't let the algorithm get to your head.

Shop the look:


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