As someone who suffered from Bulimia, the word 'binge' literally scares the sh*t out of me. Whenever I think about the masses of food that I used to consume, day-in-day-out, it physically pains me. I know that a lot of my readers have had/have similar struggles to me and as someone who's kind of come out of the other side of the tunnel, I really want to give some advice on how to deal with 'binge' eating in a more positive way than what our mental illnesses might tell us to do.

The other day it was Valentines Day and I went round to my friends house for a GALENTINE's Day meal and drinks. Now, I'm pretty strong when it comes to having different foods outside of my comfort zone and I was actually really excited to chow down on some yummy pasta bake that we all chipped in to make together (well, I just grated some cheese but, still). I was pretty hungry when we sat down to eat, so obviously I was pretty excited to tuck right in. Basically, after I'd finished our meal, I just still didn't feel satisfied and it was like something just clicked in my head and made me want to keep eating and eating and eating. I knew what was happening, but it is something that I've not dealt with in over a year.

I'm a bit of a control freak and that's definitely something that has been heightened in my life since struggling with Anorexia. It does mean however, that I tend to have pretty damn good self control. I can often tell myself to do something in my head and I'll just do it and I don't very often have to fight the urge to do something. But, that night, I literally just lost it. I'm not joking when I say, I legit ate EVERYTHING. These were foods that I haven't even touched in over a year and I was just like a hoover, taking every little last bite in.

I could feel guilt building and building, which is something that usually makes me think 'shit, Hol, stop now' but I just couldn't. If I'm totally honest, I still can't believe it happened. I don't know where it came from.

I text my Mum whilst I was there and told her what was happening and that I just seemed to be on this massive binge. She told me it was okay and that I was allowed to enjoy myself, and she was right. It was only one night. Every other day of the year I eat so well and exercise so often - this one little over-eating situation was not going to kill me. Luckily, I'm strong enough now not to dwell on the fact that it happened too much. I can just think, 'it's happened, move on, there's nothing you can do.' however, I know for others that it can be much more difficult.

I have a little list of things to do when I've binged or just eaten something that's making me panic a little bit and I hope they help you out a bit!

1. Still Eat The Next Day

A lot of people with eating disorders will try and restrict calories the next day to try and compensate for the amount they previously ate. My advice is, don't. Start the next day completely fresh and carry on like it didn't happen. Eat what you would normally eat and get your body and mind back on track and concentrate on still keeping your body fuelled.

2. Do A Workout

Exercise is a great way to relieve a bit of stress. By this, I don't mean go and exercise for hours and hours trying to burn the calories away. Just forget the numbers. Just do a little palates workout video or go for a little jog. It just relieves a little bit of that anxiety.

3. Go For A Walk Outside

Going for a walk outside will literally help you out so so much. It's great to just get some fresh air and walk it all off a little bit. Just pay attention to what's happening around you, listening to birds tweeting and just feel really zen and calm again!

4. Talk To Someone

Just like when I text my Mum, talking to someone can help you just put things in perspective. Other people's minds wouldn't be panicking because they'd eaten a crisp, so why should yours? and will that one binge really affect you so much if for the rest of the week you eat fine? no! course not!

5. Spend Some Time Alone

Equally, spending sometime to yourself can really help you calm down and take your mind off of things. I find that I prefer to be alone so that I can just chill out and distract myself  and do my own thing.

6. Take A Nap

If you really struggle with bad thoughts, I find that naps are the way to go. Taking a nap can just let you escape all of the thinking and the torment for a while and just give your body a rest.

7. Learn From It

I think that this is really crucial. If you know that situations like this can really effect your mood and cause you a lot of upset, then next time you're in that kind of situation, really think about what you're doing. I know that, for me, there are certain foods that trigger my depression really badly, so I stay well away from them. I'd rather pass up a slice of pizza and enjoy myself than spend the next week thinking 'why did I eat that!?' and hating myself. *by this, I don't mean, don't eat, I just mean if you know that doing something could cause you to spend the next few days feeling really low, then try and avoid it until you are strong enough and ready.*

I'm hoping this post made some sense or was helpful to some of you. I just know that dealing with this kind of thing is incredibly tough and sometimes it's nice to know that other people can relate. Plus, I just kind of needed to vent a little too and I know you guys sometimes like to read my venting haha.

Thanks for reading guys, love you all!