Welcome to my online world. Here I talk about everything - I open up, I bare my soul and I say things that I would never say to people in 'real life'.

Now, as much as that's bloody brilliant, and as amazing as it is that I have somewhere to do that, I have started to wonder, has it stopped me from being more eloquent in person?

Something that I've noticed, especially after going through depression and everything that came along with that, is that I'm much less able to talk about things face-to-face.

I really struggle with putting things into words and explaining things without having written a 'first draft' or something before hand.

With blogging, it's so easy to just type and type away, getting all of my thoughts and emotions out onto a page, yet when it comes to trying to get those thoughts and emotions out in a conversation, my words get completely blocked up in my throat and I just can't do it.

Maybe it's because here on my blog there's no judgement until I've hit that 'publish' button. I can just say whatever I want to and then go back, as many times as I want, read it over, and edit things out or even re-word them.

You can't do that in a conversation. Once you've said it, you've said it.

Sure, a conversation is so much more personal and visual. You can probably imagine, with the topics I talk about, on the occasions where I do open up to people, there tends to be a lot of crying, sniffling, and tears, whereas just by reading my blog post, you can't get that.

I don't think I can ever explain myself properly without it being typed out or written down, executed to perfection. I don't think I can handle the idea of my words being interpreted the wrong way or something coming across wrong.


"Find passion in your survival"

However, as much as I love the fact that I can write things out, word them how I'd like to and take as long as I'd like to explain them, I would love to become better at just opening up in person too.

I'd love to just get those words out and stop worrying about whether they'll come out the right way, because at the end of the day, I can't bottle things up until they just explode out in a lengthy blog post, it's nice to talk about them too, especially when there are people who care and want to listen.

So yeah, maybe I do open up a little more than I should online, but I think it's totally fine as long as I learn to be the same in person too. It's just a learning process.