I am someone who always plans ahead. I can't help it. It's like I want to be spontaneous and fun but there's something chemical in my brain that just causes me to think 'YOU NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND WHEN OR ELSE EVERYTHING WILL GO WRONG!'. It drives me mad. It's like having the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other... or some other simile like that haha.

Something I was thinking about the other day was the age gap between me and most other bloggers. I often forget that most bloggers are in their 20's and almost 10 years older than me, yet I constantly compare myself and my life to theirs.  

I sit and watch people's vlogs or read people's posts about them going about their day and looking like they have themselves so together and organised and I think 'Why am I not like that?'.

I live at home with my parents and don't really have to fend for myself too often. Of course, I take care of myself in the sense of; I'll go and buy my own food and I'll go about my own day and work and things, but I'm not living alone, paying a rent somewhere or having to pay taxes, just yet. However, despite the fact that the whole 'adult' lifestyle involves those kinds of things, I still just can't wait to be at a similar age because everyone just seems so content, whereas right now I feel like I'm having a quarter life crisis.

That might seem incredibly mellow dramatic, but it's just how I feel. 

Don't get me wrong, there are moments where I feel happiness just fill me inside and I feel like I'm finally fulfilling life, like the other day when I headed out for the day with the lovely Sophie from Sophie Rosie and we shot these cute blog pics for one another - I felt so happy! It was such a gorgeous day! But at the same time, I think that things just all-round don't feel right in my life. 

Yes, it is pretty daft to compare my life to someone who's almost ten years older, I should be looking at people more of a similar age.. well, I shouldn't be comparing myself to anyone really because my life is my life and their's is their's but you get the gist.

Planning ahead is something that seems to burden me so much, but what I've been thinking about lately is planning ahead in the sense of wanting to be 'that' happy and content with my life when I'm in my 20's too. 

I want to be doing a job I love, living in a place love, with someone I love, just like they are too. I don't want to still be dealing with all the anxieties I am today. I want to be enjoying myself, being independent, living freely. And, in that sense of things, I think that it's okay to look to future and plan ahead, don't you? Surely it's okay for me to look forward to the happiness that hopefully lies in the future for me? To aspire to be content? 

I know people often say to just 'go where life takes you' and 'go with the flow', but I just want to know if that happiness will be there or not, you know? What do I have to do or change to get to the place where all these other fabulous people seem to be in their lives? I just want to get to that place too.

It's probably ridiculous for me to be thinking about it all this much and in this kind of complexity but at the same time, I feel so lost right now, I just want to know that there's light at the end of the tunnel.

This post isn't necessarily meant to be this depressing (lol) because like I said, there are times where I just feel SO happy and in love with all that is happening and the people who are around me. 

It was so fab to spend the day with Soph the other day and capture these lovely images. I vlogged it too so if you'd like to see then make sure you go and check it out on my channel (www.youtube.com/c/HollyWhitee) and also go and read Soph's blog because it's bloomin brilliant.

I think that it's day's like that that will keep me going. They make me realise it's nice to feel free from a schedule and just live and do fun things. But, yeah, planning ahead is something I maybe need to work on or at least change the perspective of anyway.

Also, before I love you and leave you, I thought i'd give you the outfit deets for this post since, you know, I am a Fashion Blogger and all haha.

Here I'm wearing one of my new favourite pieces that I bought recently, which is this gorgeous little Zara dress. It was only £25.99 and is honestly so so lovely - it's super comfy to wear too! (I've included some similar options below for you to check out as well)

I simply slipped on my comfy white flats, a red lip, grabbed my bag and off I went! I felt so cute in this outfit all day and even got complimented on it by a lovely lady serving us at the cafe we went to!

If there's one thing I plan to do, it's definitely wear this outfit again hahaha...

Shop this look here: