I've spent the last 10 years searching for something I've never found. Ever. I've come close to the feeling, but only through the trials and tribulations of manipulating myself into forms my soul just quite didn't fit. One day its one thing, another it's the next, and one by one, these 'forms' have swallowed me whole, consumed me entirely, until there's simply a shell of a person left.

Starvation, calorie counting, bulimia, anxiety, depression - a deep wormhole of my own self-hatred - all of which have brought me to where I am today. These are the tactics (metaphorically speaking) that I've clung to. And, now, I'm so deep in my own mind, that sometimes I don't even recognize myself falling back into old habits anymore.

I've had brief encounters with self-love, of course. I've had days, weeks, months even, where I've felt at peace. Yet, the word 'brief' has the most significance here. These periods of my life are gone within a blink of an eye and suddenly I find myself back where I started, clinging to an unfortunately familiar vice that always leaves me feeling the same.

The earliest memory I have of my own self-destruction was when I was about 13. I remember having a photo with a group of friends after a fun day swanning around the city, thinking we were ladies of leisure, despite having school at 8am the next day. We'd stopped to have the obligatory 'day-out' snap, and up until that point I remember having laughed, smiled, and giggled my way through a cold winter Sunday. I stared down at this image of myself and suddenly felt humiliated. I felt embarrassed to be that girl in the photo staring back at me. A frenzied cluster of emotions ran through my body and something inside me clicked - a switch inside my brain had been turned on and I found that my mind had been ordered on a mission it hadn't quite prepared itself for. Running my eyes over my 'large' thighs and scanning the petite pals next to me, I swore I would never be that girl again. I just couldn't not be 'perfect' like the rest of them.

I guess 'perfection' is different to everyone - for me, it has always been to see myself as flawless, and for everything I do in life to be flawless. I want to be this effortless person, with an effortless lifestyle and the effortless instagram account that everyone fawns over. This lifelong hunt of mine has been to capture this beauty - to embody this image I have of myself, of my dream self - and become something completely different to the person I truly I am, or to who my 13 year old self was. I mean, I don't think I truly know what this 'perfect' self is yet, since I've never found it, but there's a force within me that's constantly willing me to get there.

This perfection I see in others is a mystery to me. There's something I see in other people - in their appearance, in their souls, in their lives - that I've just never seen within myself. I often wonder what it'd be like to live an anxiety-free life, waking up with the perfectly formed body, the healthy glowing skin, the problem-less money and the clear career path. I daydream about waking up with nothing but thoughts of my early morning coffee on my mind, and going about life not wondering how I can make myself better, make myself 'desirable'. But, if there's one thing that I've noticed through all these years of pining after the same distant illusion, one thing that has always stopped me in my tracks, it's that...

I am in fact a very flawed person.

I am imperfect.

Amidst every thing that I portray online, I am someone who struggles. I am someone with issues on top of issues, and life often feels incredibly heavy to me. There are small fleeting moments in my life where I find silence, usually around loved ones and days where I'm distracted from my phone. I don't wake up to the sound of bird song with a perfectly poured latte in hand and I definitely don't have a 10 step skincare routine made up of La Roche Posay and Emma Hardie cleansers. I don't have a perfectly toned body and a wardrobe to die for, and I don't have a lot of money, ever. The internet is an illusion, I know that about my own life, for sure, but there's something inside me that stops me applying that to other people too. I'm not saying that what I share is a lie, of course, I just find that I'm constantly trying to live up to the standard that other people portray, even though they're most likely in that same sinking ship as I am.

Throughout the last 10 years, I've gone from a teenager to a young woman and within that, I've still helplessly clung onto the hopes and dreams of my 13 year old self. I've slid past parts of life that would have taught me things, that would have helped me grow, and that in itself has been one of my biggest downfalls. I mean, I've managed to become someone that I'm content with personality wise. I think my parents shaped me into a kind, polite and understanding person, and I'm forever grateful for that, but I feel like there's a missing part of me that would make me stronger, that would have helped me fight for more, that would have given me more of a sense of self.

I guess that thing would be confidence. I think I'm missing that compelling feeling of 'I'm okay as I am' and that 'I don't need to change'. There's something inside me that is consistently convincing me that I'm wrong. My face is wrong, my body is wrong, that everything I do and create is wrong. Wouldn't it be nice to knock that feeling?

I've never stepped back and just let myself 'stop', despite the amount of days I spend nestled in my duvet, with only the screen of a Netflix show to light up the room. Even in the moments where I think I'm finally taking some time to be at peace, there's still a whirlwind of thoughts consuming me, a whole world of deep-seated hurt that is circling around my mind. And, maybe I'll never know what it's like not to be preoccupied with all-consuming thoughts. Maybe I'll write endlessly about how my eating disorders have taken over my life, about how I feel lost in a world full of picture-perfect lives. Maybe that's just how my life is meant to be. There are thousands of days which have passed me by, all caught up in a daze of 'perfection', and it's frightening that that might be forever for me.

It would be remarkable if I could just quieten the noise a tiny bit. I would love to wake up to an empty mind and a fresh feeling one day. I want to care less and live more, nothing standing in my way to push me back down. I wish to stop comparing my lives to others, my body to others, as I am not them, and I wish I could find contentment in all that I am and do. I want the weight of the world to be lifted from my shoulders and contemplating perfection to simply be a thing of the past.

Soon I hope to accept myself, flaws and all.

"unless I am myself, I am nobody". - Virginia Wolf

• 2/09/2020
• Mental Health

Caught Up In Perfection

I've spent the last 10 years searching for something I've never found. Ever. I've come close to the feeling, but only through the trials and tribulations of manipulating myself into forms my soul just quite didn't fit. One day its one thing, another it's the next, and one by one, these 'forms' have swallowed me whole, consumed me entirely, until there's simply a shell of a person left.

Starvation, calorie counting, bulimia, anxiety, depression - a deep wormhole of my own self-hatred - all of which have brought me to where I am today. These are the tactics (metaphorically speaking) that I've clung to. And, now, I'm so deep in my own mind, that sometimes I don't even recognize myself falling back into old habits anymore.

I've had brief encounters with self-love, of course. I've had days, weeks, months even, where I've felt at peace. Yet, the word 'brief' has the most significance here. These periods of my life are gone within a blink of an eye and suddenly I find myself back where I started, clinging to an unfortunately familiar vice that always leaves me feeling the same.

The earliest memory I have of my own self-destruction was when I was about 13. I remember having a photo with a group of friends after a fun day swanning around the city, thinking we were ladies of leisure, despite having school at 8am the next day. We'd stopped to have the obligatory 'day-out' snap, and up until that point I remember having laughed, smiled, and giggled my way through a cold winter Sunday. I stared down at this image of myself and suddenly felt humiliated. I felt embarrassed to be that girl in the photo staring back at me. A frenzied cluster of emotions ran through my body and something inside me clicked - a switch inside my brain had been turned on and I found that my mind had been ordered on a mission it hadn't quite prepared itself for. Running my eyes over my 'large' thighs and scanning the petite pals next to me, I swore I would never be that girl again. I just couldn't not be 'perfect' like the rest of them.

I guess 'perfection' is different to everyone - for me, it has always been to see myself as flawless, and for everything I do in life to be flawless. I want to be this effortless person, with an effortless lifestyle and the effortless instagram account that everyone fawns over. This lifelong hunt of mine has been to capture this beauty - to embody this image I have of myself, of my dream self - and become something completely different to the person I truly I am, or to who my 13 year old self was. I mean, I don't think I truly know what this 'perfect' self is yet, since I've never found it, but there's a force within me that's constantly willing me to get there.

This perfection I see in others is a mystery to me. There's something I see in other people - in their appearance, in their souls, in their lives - that I've just never seen within myself. I often wonder what it'd be like to live an anxiety-free life, waking up with the perfectly formed body, the healthy glowing skin, the problem-less money and the clear career path. I daydream about waking up with nothing but thoughts of my early morning coffee on my mind, and going about life not wondering how I can make myself better, make myself 'desirable'. But, if there's one thing that I've noticed through all these years of pining after the same distant illusion, one thing that has always stopped me in my tracks, it's that...

I am in fact a very flawed person.

I am imperfect.

Amidst every thing that I portray online, I am someone who struggles. I am someone with issues on top of issues, and life often feels incredibly heavy to me. There are small fleeting moments in my life where I find silence, usually around loved ones and days where I'm distracted from my phone. I don't wake up to the sound of bird song with a perfectly poured latte in hand and I definitely don't have a 10 step skincare routine made up of La Roche Posay and Emma Hardie cleansers. I don't have a perfectly toned body and a wardrobe to die for, and I don't have a lot of money, ever. The internet is an illusion, I know that about my own life, for sure, but there's something inside me that stops me applying that to other people too. I'm not saying that what I share is a lie, of course, I just find that I'm constantly trying to live up to the standard that other people portray, even though they're most likely in that same sinking ship as I am.

Throughout the last 10 years, I've gone from a teenager to a young woman and within that, I've still helplessly clung onto the hopes and dreams of my 13 year old self. I've slid past parts of life that would have taught me things, that would have helped me grow, and that in itself has been one of my biggest downfalls. I mean, I've managed to become someone that I'm content with personality wise. I think my parents shaped me into a kind, polite and understanding person, and I'm forever grateful for that, but I feel like there's a missing part of me that would make me stronger, that would have helped me fight for more, that would have given me more of a sense of self.

I guess that thing would be confidence. I think I'm missing that compelling feeling of 'I'm okay as I am' and that 'I don't need to change'. There's something inside me that is consistently convincing me that I'm wrong. My face is wrong, my body is wrong, that everything I do and create is wrong. Wouldn't it be nice to knock that feeling?

I've never stepped back and just let myself 'stop', despite the amount of days I spend nestled in my duvet, with only the screen of a Netflix show to light up the room. Even in the moments where I think I'm finally taking some time to be at peace, there's still a whirlwind of thoughts consuming me, a whole world of deep-seated hurt that is circling around my mind. And, maybe I'll never know what it's like not to be preoccupied with all-consuming thoughts. Maybe I'll write endlessly about how my eating disorders have taken over my life, about how I feel lost in a world full of picture-perfect lives. Maybe that's just how my life is meant to be. There are thousands of days which have passed me by, all caught up in a daze of 'perfection', and it's frightening that that might be forever for me.

It would be remarkable if I could just quieten the noise a tiny bit. I would love to wake up to an empty mind and a fresh feeling one day. I want to care less and live more, nothing standing in my way to push me back down. I wish to stop comparing my lives to others, my body to others, as I am not them, and I wish I could find contentment in all that I am and do. I want the weight of the world to be lifted from my shoulders and contemplating perfection to simply be a thing of the past.

Soon I hope to accept myself, flaws and all.

"unless I am myself, I am nobody". - Virginia Wolf

Read more »

As January pay-day rolled around, I found myself really struggling not to treat myself to something new to add to my wardrobe. I've been trying to save money, you see. I've decided that 2020 is the year that I attempt to become more of  a 'grown up' and to stay more stable and organised. However, a quick trip into Primark spun me into a tizz when I spotted two amazing shirt jackets that I just could not go home without.

An item I've been lusting after for a while now is a simple, androgynous style shirt jacket, that's a great transitional piece as the weather begins to warm up a bit. I've been on the hunt for months, looking at the likes of COS, & Other Stories and other brands that I sadly just could not part a big chunk of my money with (because I'm a stickler for buying pricey things, not because I don't LOVE the brands).

But then Primark saved the day - I picked up these 2 amazing jackets for the cost of £40 (for both!) and I'm so so happy with them.

JACKET - PRIMARK // TEE - PRIMARK // SHORTS - GHOSPELL [GIFTED]

JACKET - PRIMARK // TOP - ZARA // BAG - GUCCI // TROUSERS - VINTAGE

I love the over-sized style of them and the colours are so chic and clean looking - perfect to pair with neutrals like I've done here. The cut of them looks so much more expensive than £20 too, and I've already had so many questions about them when wearing them!

For me, sometimes a bargain of a jacket is just as good as something you might spend £70 on in another store. I've had so many people think that these were something from COS or Zara and I think it's so cool that I've barely broke the bank on 2 brilliant pieces I'll be getting so much wear out of.

Sadly, I can't link these jackets in this post, but definitely head down to your local Primark ASAP and check them out for yourself! 

I'll share some similar pieces below for you to browse as well:

• 2/02/2020
• Fashion

The Bargain Shirt Jacket

As January pay-day rolled around, I found myself really struggling not to treat myself to something new to add to my wardrobe. I've been trying to save money, you see. I've decided that 2020 is the year that I attempt to become more of  a 'grown up' and to stay more stable and organised. However, a quick trip into Primark spun me into a tizz when I spotted two amazing shirt jackets that I just could not go home without.

An item I've been lusting after for a while now is a simple, androgynous style shirt jacket, that's a great transitional piece as the weather begins to warm up a bit. I've been on the hunt for months, looking at the likes of COS, & Other Stories and other brands that I sadly just could not part a big chunk of my money with (because I'm a stickler for buying pricey things, not because I don't LOVE the brands).

But then Primark saved the day - I picked up these 2 amazing jackets for the cost of £40 (for both!) and I'm so so happy with them.

JACKET - PRIMARK // TEE - PRIMARK // SHORTS - GHOSPELL [GIFTED]

JACKET - PRIMARK // TOP - ZARA // BAG - GUCCI // TROUSERS - VINTAGE

I love the over-sized style of them and the colours are so chic and clean looking - perfect to pair with neutrals like I've done here. The cut of them looks so much more expensive than £20 too, and I've already had so many questions about them when wearing them!

For me, sometimes a bargain of a jacket is just as good as something you might spend £70 on in another store. I've had so many people think that these were something from COS or Zara and I think it's so cool that I've barely broke the bank on 2 brilliant pieces I'll be getting so much wear out of.

Sadly, I can't link these jackets in this post, but definitely head down to your local Primark ASAP and check them out for yourself! 

I'll share some similar pieces below for you to browse as well:

Read more »

This week Josh and I had the pleasure of staying at The Cow Hollow Hotel in Manchester [*gifted stay]. You can find this character-filled inn on Newton Street in the beloved Northern Quarter, surrounded by the exciting hustle and bustle of city life.

We spent one great evening there and, after just 24 hours, vowed we'd definitely have to go back again.

We began our stay with a warm welcome to The Amelia Suite, with complimentary sweets on arrival.

The room was like a cosy little guesthouse with a fire place, open brick walls and bright wooden windows. It had such an old-style feel, yet is kept up-to-date with tech savvy accessories to compliment it perfectly. In each room there's high quality Bluetooth speakers and free Netflix, along with a hair dryer, curling tongs and straighteners to use (what a dream, right?).

The King Size Hypnos bed allowed me to have one of the best nights sleep I've had in ages, whilst the complimentary service of milk and cookies in the evening just topped the whole night off with a cosy, comfortable and homely feel.

 

The bathrooms are small, yet super chic and clean, featuring large rainfall showers, with soft towels and full-size REN products to use. This is also where you'll find the hair dryer, straightener and curling tong I mentioned a moment ago.

I loved marble fixtures and rustic-style taps. It's the perfect place to get ready for the day/evening too, as there is also a light-up magnifying make-up mirror in there to get the best lighting for hitting the town.

Complimentary Prosecco and nibbles are also on offer at the bar, which is small, yet still completely glamorous, with friendly, chatty staff to go along with it.

It's decor is classy, with character and a stylish feel - I particularly loved the bar stools to perch on and the tropical plants to add to the 'home away from home' setting.

It's the perfect way to start an evening before heading out into town to explore more of what Manchester has to offer - plus the Prosecco is some of the best that both Josh and I have ever had, we couldn't rave about it enough!

In the morning we were greeted by a delicious continental breakfast that was brought up to our room at our own specified timing. We indulged in the tasty granola and yoghurt, brioche buns and coffee, whilst enjoying the free Netflix on the smart TV and making the most of our last hour or so in our dreamy suite.

We then checked out at the perfect time of 11am, and were sent on our way with a delicious complimentary take-away coffee.

All in all, it's probably the best hotel I've stayed at in a while and I'll definitely be keeping it in mind for future get-aways and be recommending it to anyone that wants to enjoy a little taste of Manchester.

BOOK HERE

• 1/23/2020
• Lifestyle

One Night At The Cow Hollow Hotel

This week Josh and I had the pleasure of staying at The Cow Hollow Hotel in Manchester [*gifted stay]. You can find this character-filled inn on Newton Street in the beloved Northern Quarter, surrounded by the exciting hustle and bustle of city life.

We spent one great evening there and, after just 24 hours, vowed we'd definitely have to go back again.

We began our stay with a warm welcome to The Amelia Suite, with complimentary sweets on arrival.

The room was like a cosy little guesthouse with a fire place, open brick walls and bright wooden windows. It had such an old-style feel, yet is kept up-to-date with tech savvy accessories to compliment it perfectly. In each room there's high quality Bluetooth speakers and free Netflix, along with a hair dryer, curling tongs and straighteners to use (what a dream, right?).

The King Size Hypnos bed allowed me to have one of the best nights sleep I've had in ages, whilst the complimentary service of milk and cookies in the evening just topped the whole night off with a cosy, comfortable and homely feel.

 

The bathrooms are small, yet super chic and clean, featuring large rainfall showers, with soft towels and full-size REN products to use. This is also where you'll find the hair dryer, straightener and curling tong I mentioned a moment ago.

I loved marble fixtures and rustic-style taps. It's the perfect place to get ready for the day/evening too, as there is also a light-up magnifying make-up mirror in there to get the best lighting for hitting the town.

Complimentary Prosecco and nibbles are also on offer at the bar, which is small, yet still completely glamorous, with friendly, chatty staff to go along with it.

It's decor is classy, with character and a stylish feel - I particularly loved the bar stools to perch on and the tropical plants to add to the 'home away from home' setting.

It's the perfect way to start an evening before heading out into town to explore more of what Manchester has to offer - plus the Prosecco is some of the best that both Josh and I have ever had, we couldn't rave about it enough!

In the morning we were greeted by a delicious continental breakfast that was brought up to our room at our own specified timing. We indulged in the tasty granola and yoghurt, brioche buns and coffee, whilst enjoying the free Netflix on the smart TV and making the most of our last hour or so in our dreamy suite.

We then checked out at the perfect time of 11am, and were sent on our way with a delicious complimentary take-away coffee.

All in all, it's probably the best hotel I've stayed at in a while and I'll definitely be keeping it in mind for future get-aways and be recommending it to anyone that wants to enjoy a little taste of Manchester.

BOOK HERE

Read more »

Who'd have thought that 2020 would be the year that Chandler Bing's wardrobe become 'on trend', hey? Well, it certainly has. From high street, to high fashion, sweater vests are 'in' and if you haven't already found your perfect Bing-esque knit, then here are some of my favourites for you to shop:

• 1/19/2020
• Fashion

Miss Chanandler Bong

Who'd have thought that 2020 would be the year that Chandler Bing's wardrobe become 'on trend', hey? Well, it certainly has. From high street, to high fashion, sweater vests are 'in' and if you haven't already found your perfect Bing-esque knit, then here are some of my favourites for you to shop:

Read more »

Faux leather is everywhere right now; from the high street, to vintage shops and my daily depop scrolls, it's simply all I've had my eye on. We're a society of trend magpies, and if something looks cool, then you'll 100% find me v-lining my way to it in every store.

The thing is, over the festive break I seemed to have found myself in a 'comfy jumper and jeans' wormhole. The weather outside has been cold and gloomy, and no one likes standing at their local train station shivering at 6am in the morning. But, as we have edged further and further in to the new year, I've slowly started to get that inspiration back and the styling juices flowing again. This is all, of course, with a little help from a dreamy Glamorous delivery.

SHIRT JACKET - GLAMOROUS [GIFTED]

These two pieces were kindly gifted to me, and boy oh boy am I happy with them!

I've had my eye on a shirt jacket like this for so long. There's just something about that 'tan' shade that I find so eye catching, and perfect to break up all of the all black ensembles I've been fashioning for the past 3 months. I love how much of a statement faux leather can make too, it's like an amazing combination of 'chic' yet completely 'bad ass' at the same time.

It's the perfect thing to stay cosy in as well, whilst not having to layer up with knitwear and scarves at the same time. Plus, I just find it completely timeless and versatile, with being able to wear it both buttoned up and open as a jacket too!

TROUSERS - GLAMOROUS [GIFTED]

Leather trousers are a big deal for me. I always have that worry that I'm going to end up in a situation like Ross from Friends, trying to squeeze back into a pair, ending up covered in some sort of baby lotion, baby powder mess, and then having to walk back home in just my undies (not a good look). However, this pair are an absolute dream and I cannot fault them!

They're in a sort of kick-flare style, which is a style I'm slowly but surely falling obsessed with and find super flattering. The croc detail just gives them that little bit of something extra and help to break up a look if you are opting for that 'all black, I cannot fathom getting dressed' vibe. And, more than anything, they're just really really bloody comfy. They've become an absolute go-to for me.

I mean, what can I say? I'm completely on board with the faux leather look right now. I can't wait for my brain to kick back into gear and get styling it some more!

Shop the post:

• 1/18/2020
• Fashion

The Faux Leather Look

Faux leather is everywhere right now; from the high street, to vintage shops and my daily depop scrolls, it's simply all I've had my eye on. We're a society of trend magpies, and if something looks cool, then you'll 100% find me v-lining my way to it in every store.

The thing is, over the festive break I seemed to have found myself in a 'comfy jumper and jeans' wormhole. The weather outside has been cold and gloomy, and no one likes standing at their local train station shivering at 6am in the morning. But, as we have edged further and further in to the new year, I've slowly started to get that inspiration back and the styling juices flowing again. This is all, of course, with a little help from a dreamy Glamorous delivery.

SHIRT JACKET - GLAMOROUS [GIFTED]

These two pieces were kindly gifted to me, and boy oh boy am I happy with them!

I've had my eye on a shirt jacket like this for so long. There's just something about that 'tan' shade that I find so eye catching, and perfect to break up all of the all black ensembles I've been fashioning for the past 3 months. I love how much of a statement faux leather can make too, it's like an amazing combination of 'chic' yet completely 'bad ass' at the same time.

It's the perfect thing to stay cosy in as well, whilst not having to layer up with knitwear and scarves at the same time. Plus, I just find it completely timeless and versatile, with being able to wear it both buttoned up and open as a jacket too!

TROUSERS - GLAMOROUS [GIFTED]

Leather trousers are a big deal for me. I always have that worry that I'm going to end up in a situation like Ross from Friends, trying to squeeze back into a pair, ending up covered in some sort of baby lotion, baby powder mess, and then having to walk back home in just my undies (not a good look). However, this pair are an absolute dream and I cannot fault them!

They're in a sort of kick-flare style, which is a style I'm slowly but surely falling obsessed with and find super flattering. The croc detail just gives them that little bit of something extra and help to break up a look if you are opting for that 'all black, I cannot fathom getting dressed' vibe. And, more than anything, they're just really really bloody comfy. They've become an absolute go-to for me.

I mean, what can I say? I'm completely on board with the faux leather look right now. I can't wait for my brain to kick back into gear and get styling it some more!

Shop the post:

Read more »

As you'll all know, Bobbi Brown has been a favourite brand of mine for many years... I mean, half my make up bag is taken up by a collection of BB products that I've tried and tested over the years, and my skincare routine is also mainly focus around the amazing Soothing Cleansing Oil, because I simply cannot get enough of the stuff!

Recently a PR package, from said brilliant brand, landed on my doorstep and it featured some of my old favourites, as well as an amazing new collection that I just had to share with you.

VITAMIN ENRICHED FACE BASE - BOBBI BROWN [GIFTED]

One thing I love about Bobbi Brown skincare is the amazing unique, refreshing scent that the products have. I always struggle to sum it up into words, but it's like a grapefruit, lemon scent that's just super revitalizing.

The 'Vitamin Enriched Face Base' is the main one I always think about in terms of the amazing scent. It's a cult classic for BB and is a thick, hydrating cream that doubles up as a primer. It evens out complexion with a balm-like texture and is perfect for combination and dry skin types.

I've had friends try it too who just simply LOVE the stuff for wearing under their make up, and say they found it help keep their foundation/make up in place throughout the day without ever feeling 'cakey' or like the cream had gotten heavier throughout the day.

It absorbs quickly into the skin, meaning it's great to combine with your everyday routine and the moisturising properties take care of any dry patches leaving skin super soft!

EXTRA EYE REPAIR CREAM - BOBBI BROWN [GIFTED]

The 'Extra Eye Repair Cream' is a new one for me to try out. I'm not someone who's dabbled much with eye creams as of yet, but I was excited to give this one a go.

It's a rich cream that revives eyes, targeting fine lines, wrinkles and dark circles, with a combination of clary sage ferment and argireline to help boots the skin's natural collagen.

It feels really comfortable on the skin, with a soothing affect and definitely helps give me that more 'awake' feeling I've been lusting after. I've seen it described as an 'espresso shot' for your eyes and I totally have to agree with that.

I'd say a little really does go a long way with it too. It melts into the skin really easily and is great to use under make up to brighten your look.

JEWELLED ROSE EYE SHADOW PALETTE - BOBBI BROWN [GIFTED]

Moving onto the new collection 'Luxe and Fortune', which is Bobbi Brown's nod to the Lunar New Year, you can see from the images above that from the packaging alone, it's a bit of an eye catcher.

The products are in a limited edition red and gold design, and the collection covers eye shadows and lips, as well as some face products too.

To start with, I must tell you about the amazing 'Jewelled Rose Eye Shadow Palette', which retails at £32. It features champagne and rose shades in both matte and shimmer finishes, which is the perfect thing for someone like me who loves warm, pinky tones in my makeup. The colours are lovely, light, and pigmented, without being too bold for day to day looks.

The palette itself is so aesthetically pleasing, so definitely one for those who are a bit of magpie for pretty products, like me!

It's overall, a great little palette for this time of year, when you're not quite ready to let go of the festive, sparkly looks.

LUXE LIP COLOUR - BOBBI BROWN [GIFTED]

Then we have the Luxe Lip Colour, which comes in 3 different shades. They retail at £28. Photographed here is the shade 'Rare Ruby'... and we all know I'm a sucker for a red shade!

It's formulated the same as the usual LLCs with a sumptuous colour, creamy formula and shiny finish. The colours are always amazingly pigmented from Bobbi Brown, and this doesn't change for 'Rare Ruby' either.

The packaging is obviously gorgeous and definitely lives up to the 'Luxe' name, as does the lipstick itself, as I find there's definitely a richness to the texture and the colour looks super glamorous.

LUXE LIQUID LIP - BOBBI BROWN [GIFTED]

Last but not least we have the Luxe Liquid Lip, retailing at £28 also. This comes in 2 shades, photographed above is 'Pink Crystal'.

The Liquid Lip's from Bobbi Brown are a favourite of mine. They're a long-wearing lip colour that leaves your lips looking super lustrous, gliding on effortlessly, without appearing tacky or bumpy.

The shade 'Pink Crystal' itself is a beautiful coral pink with an added touch of shimmer, that really helps to brighten up your look. I found it to apply super easily, feeling really nice and light on the lips. It's pigmented and fun to wear and I just think you can't go wrong with a liquid lip!

Shop the post: 

• 1/15/2020
• Beauty

Bobbi Brown Skincare Staples & The Luxe And Fortune Collection

As you'll all know, Bobbi Brown has been a favourite brand of mine for many years... I mean, half my make up bag is taken up by a collection of BB products that I've tried and tested over the years, and my skincare routine is also mainly focus around the amazing Soothing Cleansing Oil, because I simply cannot get enough of the stuff!

Recently a PR package, from said brilliant brand, landed on my doorstep and it featured some of my old favourites, as well as an amazing new collection that I just had to share with you.

VITAMIN ENRICHED FACE BASE - BOBBI BROWN [GIFTED]

One thing I love about Bobbi Brown skincare is the amazing unique, refreshing scent that the products have. I always struggle to sum it up into words, but it's like a grapefruit, lemon scent that's just super revitalizing.

The 'Vitamin Enriched Face Base' is the main one I always think about in terms of the amazing scent. It's a cult classic for BB and is a thick, hydrating cream that doubles up as a primer. It evens out complexion with a balm-like texture and is perfect for combination and dry skin types.

I've had friends try it too who just simply LOVE the stuff for wearing under their make up, and say they found it help keep their foundation/make up in place throughout the day without ever feeling 'cakey' or like the cream had gotten heavier throughout the day.

It absorbs quickly into the skin, meaning it's great to combine with your everyday routine and the moisturising properties take care of any dry patches leaving skin super soft!

EXTRA EYE REPAIR CREAM - BOBBI BROWN [GIFTED]

The 'Extra Eye Repair Cream' is a new one for me to try out. I'm not someone who's dabbled much with eye creams as of yet, but I was excited to give this one a go.

It's a rich cream that revives eyes, targeting fine lines, wrinkles and dark circles, with a combination of clary sage ferment and argireline to help boots the skin's natural collagen.

It feels really comfortable on the skin, with a soothing affect and definitely helps give me that more 'awake' feeling I've been lusting after. I've seen it described as an 'espresso shot' for your eyes and I totally have to agree with that.

I'd say a little really does go a long way with it too. It melts into the skin really easily and is great to use under make up to brighten your look.

JEWELLED ROSE EYE SHADOW PALETTE - BOBBI BROWN [GIFTED]

Moving onto the new collection 'Luxe and Fortune', which is Bobbi Brown's nod to the Lunar New Year, you can see from the images above that from the packaging alone, it's a bit of an eye catcher.

The products are in a limited edition red and gold design, and the collection covers eye shadows and lips, as well as some face products too.

To start with, I must tell you about the amazing 'Jewelled Rose Eye Shadow Palette', which retails at £32. It features champagne and rose shades in both matte and shimmer finishes, which is the perfect thing for someone like me who loves warm, pinky tones in my makeup. The colours are lovely, light, and pigmented, without being too bold for day to day looks.

The palette itself is so aesthetically pleasing, so definitely one for those who are a bit of magpie for pretty products, like me!

It's overall, a great little palette for this time of year, when you're not quite ready to let go of the festive, sparkly looks.

LUXE LIP COLOUR - BOBBI BROWN [GIFTED]

Then we have the Luxe Lip Colour, which comes in 3 different shades. They retail at £28. Photographed here is the shade 'Rare Ruby'... and we all know I'm a sucker for a red shade!

It's formulated the same as the usual LLCs with a sumptuous colour, creamy formula and shiny finish. The colours are always amazingly pigmented from Bobbi Brown, and this doesn't change for 'Rare Ruby' either.

The packaging is obviously gorgeous and definitely lives up to the 'Luxe' name, as does the lipstick itself, as I find there's definitely a richness to the texture and the colour looks super glamorous.

LUXE LIQUID LIP - BOBBI BROWN [GIFTED]

Last but not least we have the Luxe Liquid Lip, retailing at £28 also. This comes in 2 shades, photographed above is 'Pink Crystal'.

The Liquid Lip's from Bobbi Brown are a favourite of mine. They're a long-wearing lip colour that leaves your lips looking super lustrous, gliding on effortlessly, without appearing tacky or bumpy.

The shade 'Pink Crystal' itself is a beautiful coral pink with an added touch of shimmer, that really helps to brighten up your look. I found it to apply super easily, feeling really nice and light on the lips. It's pigmented and fun to wear and I just think you can't go wrong with a liquid lip!

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As last year came to a close, I found myself seeking more and more simplicity in my life. From my day-to-day living, to my wardrobe full of clothes and my overflowing thoughts, everything just felt cluttered and unorganized. And then, through some sort of "new decade" epiphany, I suddenly had this new understanding of how I wanted to live and how I saw things going forward.

I no longer felt the urge to hold onto things, both physical and mental, and I slowly began to think about things in a different way. For so so long, everything in my life has felt so jumbled and chaotic, and it's had an effect on me like I never even realised.

I'm a person who truly lives by the mantra "tidy room, tidy mind" and I try and apply it to everything I do. I can't quite sit still knowing things need to be done. I find myself getting so overwhelmed by the copious amounts of things I've accumulated, or by the amount of pressure to be successful that I put on myself. I basically drive myself crazy.

BAG - AZURINA [GIFTED]

I think one of the hardest things I've had to let go of is this notorious insanity I've carried around with me since my teens. My mental health has always defined a huge part of me and, despite the fact that I still struggle with it now, things are a lot better and I need to teach that irrational part of my mind to accept that.

There seems to be this mentality, especially with eating disorders, that we tell ourselves that we don't 'really' want to get better, and that can have us clinging onto every vice for dear life.

I want to simply focus more on my issues in the here and the now. And, rather than the usual brain overload state that I get myself into, I'm trying to take things day by day and take small, slow steps to combat my problems.

I want to try and make my day-to-day life easier on myself. Don't we all?

I'm learning to try and understand my emotions more, and to understand when I truly need a break. I'm finding myself more and more able to take time on my own to practice some self-care and that's a lot more than I've actually managed to do before.

There are emotions sunk deep inside me that I don't need anymore - things I'm clinging onto for no god damn reason - but I'm feeling ready to let go of those things and focus on the issues that I have present day.

I've discussed that fact that I cleared out my wardrobe in a previous blog post, but I actually spent a lot of the end of last year decluttering all of my belongings, on top of my clothes too.

As I've grown older, I've found myself wanting to live more sustainably and understanding that I don't need to hang onto everything that enters my life. I mean, it's hard with the job that I do - PR packages turn up on a regular basis, fashion is constantly changing and as a creator you have to keep up to date - but sometimes things just don't get used enough, or worn enough, or loved enough, and that's when I need to consider the fact something may be more enjoyed by someone else.

Over this year, the decluttering process will 100% be ongoing. It's a big job to tackle when I've been working from the same bedroom in my hometown for the last 6 years, but I'm looking forward to the end result and hope to create almost a 'one in one out' kind of system with my belongings.

I want to donate to charity more, share things with friends more and have clarity to live in the space I work in.

I've realised that clutter doesn't suit me, in any sense of the word. I like the plain, the simple, the easy, and I'm just trying to implement that more and more.

JUMPER DRESS - H&M

I'm not saying that I leapt into the new year feeling like I had some fresh clean slate, because I certainly haven't. The January blues have been defiant over the last week or so, as they always are. I hoped I'd spring into action as the 1st week of the year hit, but it's been harder than expected. However, to even have this fresh mindset to work off of, is something wonderful to me.

I'm excited to experience more rationality and stability in 2020. It's something I've sought after for so long in my life, but it's only now that I truly understand those little things I need to do to achieve it.

So, yeah, I'm letting go of a lot of stuff, but with that comes a sense of ease as I see my life becoming more and more simple to venture through.

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• 1/12/2020
• Lifestyle

Simply Letting Go

As last year came to a close, I found myself seeking more and more simplicity in my life. From my day-to-day living, to my wardrobe full of clothes and my overflowing thoughts, everything just felt cluttered and unorganized. And then, through some sort of "new decade" epiphany, I suddenly had this new understanding of how I wanted to live and how I saw things going forward.

I no longer felt the urge to hold onto things, both physical and mental, and I slowly began to think about things in a different way. For so so long, everything in my life has felt so jumbled and chaotic, and it's had an effect on me like I never even realised.

I'm a person who truly lives by the mantra "tidy room, tidy mind" and I try and apply it to everything I do. I can't quite sit still knowing things need to be done. I find myself getting so overwhelmed by the copious amounts of things I've accumulated, or by the amount of pressure to be successful that I put on myself. I basically drive myself crazy.

BAG - AZURINA [GIFTED]

I think one of the hardest things I've had to let go of is this notorious insanity I've carried around with me since my teens. My mental health has always defined a huge part of me and, despite the fact that I still struggle with it now, things are a lot better and I need to teach that irrational part of my mind to accept that.

There seems to be this mentality, especially with eating disorders, that we tell ourselves that we don't 'really' want to get better, and that can have us clinging onto every vice for dear life.

I want to simply focus more on my issues in the here and the now. And, rather than the usual brain overload state that I get myself into, I'm trying to take things day by day and take small, slow steps to combat my problems.

I want to try and make my day-to-day life easier on myself. Don't we all?

I'm learning to try and understand my emotions more, and to understand when I truly need a break. I'm finding myself more and more able to take time on my own to practice some self-care and that's a lot more than I've actually managed to do before.

There are emotions sunk deep inside me that I don't need anymore - things I'm clinging onto for no god damn reason - but I'm feeling ready to let go of those things and focus on the issues that I have present day.

I've discussed that fact that I cleared out my wardrobe in a previous blog post, but I actually spent a lot of the end of last year decluttering all of my belongings, on top of my clothes too.

As I've grown older, I've found myself wanting to live more sustainably and understanding that I don't need to hang onto everything that enters my life. I mean, it's hard with the job that I do - PR packages turn up on a regular basis, fashion is constantly changing and as a creator you have to keep up to date - but sometimes things just don't get used enough, or worn enough, or loved enough, and that's when I need to consider the fact something may be more enjoyed by someone else.

Over this year, the decluttering process will 100% be ongoing. It's a big job to tackle when I've been working from the same bedroom in my hometown for the last 6 years, but I'm looking forward to the end result and hope to create almost a 'one in one out' kind of system with my belongings.

I want to donate to charity more, share things with friends more and have clarity to live in the space I work in.

I've realised that clutter doesn't suit me, in any sense of the word. I like the plain, the simple, the easy, and I'm just trying to implement that more and more.

JUMPER DRESS - H&M

I'm not saying that I leapt into the new year feeling like I had some fresh clean slate, because I certainly haven't. The January blues have been defiant over the last week or so, as they always are. I hoped I'd spring into action as the 1st week of the year hit, but it's been harder than expected. However, to even have this fresh mindset to work off of, is something wonderful to me.

I'm excited to experience more rationality and stability in 2020. It's something I've sought after for so long in my life, but it's only now that I truly understand those little things I need to do to achieve it.

So, yeah, I'm letting go of a lot of stuff, but with that comes a sense of ease as I see my life becoming more and more simple to venture through.

Shop the post:

Read more »