There's something about the change in season that both excites me and also drains me (a depressing note to start on, I know). I love the colder months for fashion and styling. I love layering pieces, experimenting with warm tones and wrapping myself up in cosy accessories, yet there's also something about dark mornings, rain pouring down as you're running through Market Street trying to catch a train, coughs, colds and now... Corona, that can bring on that low feeling I think a lot of us experience around this time of year. 

I always make my best efforts to remain positive, upbeat and excited for that long (but fast approaching) countdown to Christmas. I've always had a love for festivities and Autumn/Winter as a whole. I love crunchy leaves, hot chocolates and festive episodes of old shows playing on repeat on TV.  I also love the run up to Halloween and seeing how excited everyone gets to carve a pumpkin or indulge in Halloween movies. I think this time of year can be such an uplifting time in so many ways, yet there is always that seasonal depression looming in the background, especially this year.

Everything is a lot right now, you know? There have been so many ups and downs, breaking news and exciting reunion moments. It's become the norm to just be 'getting on with it', but in reality, the world still feels very heavy to deal with. I guess the best way to describe how I feel about it all is that, I'm somewhere in limbo; I'm torn between making the best of a bad situation and then wanting to hibernate until it's all over (which it never feels like it will be...)

I think it's completely normal to be feeling a bit lost right now. Nothing this year has been the way we expected it to be and as much as, like I said, we can 'get on with it', it has definitely taken it's toll. It often feels like an emotional roller-coaster for me. Some days are better than others - filled with happy moments, forgetting the world around me is on fire - and then there are the days when reality sets in and everything just begins to seem too much to handle. 

I don't think the gloomy weather helps, not as much as I thought it would anyway. I thought that the dark mornings would make me feel happier to cosy up and forget about everything, slowly but surely however, I think it's beginning to make me feel a little suffocated. It's harder to wake up in a morning, it's more difficult to get on with work and distract myself, and it's not so easy to pop out for a stroll with a friend when it's pouring down with rain. I don't think I appreciated the sunshiney moments of lockdown no.1 as much as I should have...

I'm quite good at being alone and keeping myself distracted though. I think that's something a lot of freelancers can do. I enjoy my own company, I love blasting old One Direction songs as I tick through the day's to-do list and I don't mind spending quiet moments to myself. I think we've all mastered that feeling this year, but there is a certain feeling of loneliness that comes with it. Even the most introverted of people need those small moments with their loved ones, with their friends, with their partner. I think there's such a difference between being alone and feeling lonely, and lockdown has definitely had more 'lonely' moments. 

I guess we're all still having to ride that wave, and trying to do it guilt-free all at the same time. There are days where we're upbeat, motivated and content - the days where I manage to make time to catch up with friends, do work and also get more than 5 hours sleep - yet there are days where all we can manage is to dedicate a day to binge watching Emily In Paris and eating a whole packet of digestives, and that's okay. I'm finding the colder months are enticing me to spend more days curled up in front of Netflix rather than getting on with work, but I have to remind myself that sometimes you just can't force a feeling, certainly not in the whirlwind that is 2020. 

My point with this post wasn't to be another negative piece of writing, sprouting out words that just make the world feel even more tangled, I suppose it's more of a reminder that sometimes this time of year can feel heavy anyway, pandemic or no pandemic. I think it's totally valid to be unsure of our feelings during this time, and I think it's completely okay to still be taking each day as it comes, trying to not focus on the madness around us. 

Who knows what the next few months will bring - that feels like a terrifying thought when usually you'd have the expectation of being surrounded by loved ones, Mariah Carey blaring in the background - it's hard to even focus on the 'now', never mind what November and December will look like. Everything almost feels like a really surreal dream sometimes. 

For the time being, I'm trying my best to fight through the wobbly moments - the moments where I feel like I'm falling or failing or even drowning beneath the dark pool of never-ending bad news. I'm trying to focus on my love for the festive period and not the daunting thoughts of what it might actually be. I'm trying to keep myself afloat and I guess that's all I can do. 

• 10/16/2020
• Lifestyle

The Change In Season

There's something about the change in season that both excites me and also drains me (a depressing note to start on, I know). I love the colder months for fashion and styling. I love layering pieces, experimenting with warm tones and wrapping myself up in cosy accessories, yet there's also something about dark mornings, rain pouring down as you're running through Market Street trying to catch a train, coughs, colds and now... Corona, that can bring on that low feeling I think a lot of us experience around this time of year. 

I always make my best efforts to remain positive, upbeat and excited for that long (but fast approaching) countdown to Christmas. I've always had a love for festivities and Autumn/Winter as a whole. I love crunchy leaves, hot chocolates and festive episodes of old shows playing on repeat on TV.  I also love the run up to Halloween and seeing how excited everyone gets to carve a pumpkin or indulge in Halloween movies. I think this time of year can be such an uplifting time in so many ways, yet there is always that seasonal depression looming in the background, especially this year.

Everything is a lot right now, you know? There have been so many ups and downs, breaking news and exciting reunion moments. It's become the norm to just be 'getting on with it', but in reality, the world still feels very heavy to deal with. I guess the best way to describe how I feel about it all is that, I'm somewhere in limbo; I'm torn between making the best of a bad situation and then wanting to hibernate until it's all over (which it never feels like it will be...)

I think it's completely normal to be feeling a bit lost right now. Nothing this year has been the way we expected it to be and as much as, like I said, we can 'get on with it', it has definitely taken it's toll. It often feels like an emotional roller-coaster for me. Some days are better than others - filled with happy moments, forgetting the world around me is on fire - and then there are the days when reality sets in and everything just begins to seem too much to handle. 

I don't think the gloomy weather helps, not as much as I thought it would anyway. I thought that the dark mornings would make me feel happier to cosy up and forget about everything, slowly but surely however, I think it's beginning to make me feel a little suffocated. It's harder to wake up in a morning, it's more difficult to get on with work and distract myself, and it's not so easy to pop out for a stroll with a friend when it's pouring down with rain. I don't think I appreciated the sunshiney moments of lockdown no.1 as much as I should have...

I'm quite good at being alone and keeping myself distracted though. I think that's something a lot of freelancers can do. I enjoy my own company, I love blasting old One Direction songs as I tick through the day's to-do list and I don't mind spending quiet moments to myself. I think we've all mastered that feeling this year, but there is a certain feeling of loneliness that comes with it. Even the most introverted of people need those small moments with their loved ones, with their friends, with their partner. I think there's such a difference between being alone and feeling lonely, and lockdown has definitely had more 'lonely' moments. 

I guess we're all still having to ride that wave, and trying to do it guilt-free all at the same time. There are days where we're upbeat, motivated and content - the days where I manage to make time to catch up with friends, do work and also get more than 5 hours sleep - yet there are days where all we can manage is to dedicate a day to binge watching Emily In Paris and eating a whole packet of digestives, and that's okay. I'm finding the colder months are enticing me to spend more days curled up in front of Netflix rather than getting on with work, but I have to remind myself that sometimes you just can't force a feeling, certainly not in the whirlwind that is 2020. 

My point with this post wasn't to be another negative piece of writing, sprouting out words that just make the world feel even more tangled, I suppose it's more of a reminder that sometimes this time of year can feel heavy anyway, pandemic or no pandemic. I think it's totally valid to be unsure of our feelings during this time, and I think it's completely okay to still be taking each day as it comes, trying to not focus on the madness around us. 

Who knows what the next few months will bring - that feels like a terrifying thought when usually you'd have the expectation of being surrounded by loved ones, Mariah Carey blaring in the background - it's hard to even focus on the 'now', never mind what November and December will look like. Everything almost feels like a really surreal dream sometimes. 

For the time being, I'm trying my best to fight through the wobbly moments - the moments where I feel like I'm falling or failing or even drowning beneath the dark pool of never-ending bad news. I'm trying to focus on my love for the festive period and not the daunting thoughts of what it might actually be. I'm trying to keep myself afloat and I guess that's all I can do. 

Read more »

Life lately has felt so busy. If I haven't been at home shooting images or dragging my Mum to aesthetically pleasing walls so she can snap an outfit photo, I've been on-the-go modelling, catching trains and drinking copious amounts of coffee. I think I expected to leave my part time job and settle into quiet weeks filled with panic and 'oh no, what have I done?', but I feel so grateful to have been so occupied with so many amazing jobs.

Saying that though, I do actually have a bit of quieter week this week. It's Sunday as I type this and I've dedicated yesterday and today to doing nothing but relaxing, getting my thoughts out onto paper (and here on my blog, of course) and just letting myself rest. I think I've needed these few days to process the last week or so - to let it sink in that I'm freelance again and where I'll go from here. 

Given that I'm 'letting it sink in', I thought I'd write up the past week or so in a blog post as part of the process, and to also let you guys see what I've been up to recently.

At the end of September, I left my part time retail job and jumped straight into modelling. I got to shoot for Vildnis, who are an amazing brand who focus on taking responsibility for their environmental, social and economic impact, whilst also creating the most gorgeous pieces.

We shot at Beehive Studio in Manchester (which is always one of my favourite places to shoot) and had such a lovely day. I got to be reunited with the super talented Ema Crompton, after waaay too long and the sun was shining SO beautifully that day too, so we got some lovely golden hour shots!

The day after, I was reunited with the fab team at Rock On Ruby - a brand and team who I absolutely love working for. My shoot days with them are always so much fun and I loved getting to work along side the gorgeous Rihver and Morgan Barfield again too! 

This time we shot at Editorial Studios - another dreamy spot for shoots in Manchester. We headed up to their rooftop at the end of the day and caught some really cool images (despite the weather being super windy and nearly blowing us all away haha).

BLOUSE - SEZANE // TROUSERS - SEZANE [GIFTED]

I was lucky enough to have gotten to partner with Sezane in September, on a campaign they're doing with Manchester based creatives. They kindly gifted me some amazing pieces to style, whilst also filling me in on their great initiative. 

You can currently get free delivery and special gift with your order, whilst Sezane also give 10% of sales to Royal Manchester Children's Hospital, using the code 'MANCHESTER'.  It's such a great way to treat yourself, whilst also giving to others in the process. 

I'm so glad I got to be a part of it!

The last few days of the month were spent celebrating mine and Josh's 2 year anniversary. If you know me, then you'll know I'm a person who loves the celebrate any occasion and I'm also a soppy git, so I knew I wanted to do something nice for it.

Given the current circumstances, we were kind of limited to what we could do, but we had a lovely nights stay at Whitworthe Locke and also enjoyed the most delicious meal (and cocktails) at the Alchemist! 

We then had the perfect (hangover) breakfast at Foundation Coffee House. I was surprised I could still be hungover with a 10pm curfew, but there we go haha! All in all it was a weekend filled with my lovely boyfriend, great food and a gorgeous place to stay. 

Heading into the start of October, I had two more lovely shoots lined up, the first one being with Oubas Knitwear, who create simple, sustainable and luxurious pieces, which reflect the artisanal history of Cumbria and The Lake District where they are based. 

I headed to Cumbria nice and early, meeting the lovely Kate at the train station (dodging the pouring down rain the process). We were so worried about the weather - it was typical that we'd planned to shoot in the beautiful outdoors on a day where rain and cloud was forecast all day long. I have to say though, I think we absolutely used the windy weather to our advantage and got some amazing shots. Plus, it's always nice to be shooting cosy knitwear when it's cold! 

We worked with several locations, which was lovely for me, because Cumbria is so so different to the city life and tall industrial buildings I'm used to. I really got to have a little day of exploring in the process of shooting. I was constantly staring out the car window on the way to each place, taking in the cobbled streets and fields filled with fluffy cows. I loved it!

I think Oubas reflect the homely feel that Cumbria has so so well, and it was such a joy to explore, shoot and spend the day with Kate and the talented Jayde too! 

The last shoot I have to mention was with Wilderness Bride - the most gorgeous Bridal Wear brand creating classic, simple and elegant pieces designed and made in the UK. I've worked with Wilderness Bride previously but this time around felt so special, with the most wonderful team. 

I've been wanting to work with the amazing Rosie Woods for so long (I'm truly obsessed with her photography) and I finally had to the chance to.  I also had Lisa Simms doing the most beautiful hair and make up (I will be trying to recreate this hairstyle for the foreseeable future) and we had this stunning floral display by Living Colour Flowers.

I mean, if a day of wearing wedding dress after wedding dress isn't the best day ever then, what is? I'm always in awe of the beautiful creations Wilderness Bride have, and even though I was simply modelling the dresses, I felt so special in their gorgeous space! 

I can't wait to see the rest of the images from this shoot - it was a dream!

• 10/04/2020
• Lifestyle

Life In Black & White 0.7

Life lately has felt so busy. If I haven't been at home shooting images or dragging my Mum to aesthetically pleasing walls so she can snap an outfit photo, I've been on-the-go modelling, catching trains and drinking copious amounts of coffee. I think I expected to leave my part time job and settle into quiet weeks filled with panic and 'oh no, what have I done?', but I feel so grateful to have been so occupied with so many amazing jobs.

Saying that though, I do actually have a bit of quieter week this week. It's Sunday as I type this and I've dedicated yesterday and today to doing nothing but relaxing, getting my thoughts out onto paper (and here on my blog, of course) and just letting myself rest. I think I've needed these few days to process the last week or so - to let it sink in that I'm freelance again and where I'll go from here. 

Given that I'm 'letting it sink in', I thought I'd write up the past week or so in a blog post as part of the process, and to also let you guys see what I've been up to recently.

At the end of September, I left my part time retail job and jumped straight into modelling. I got to shoot for Vildnis, who are an amazing brand who focus on taking responsibility for their environmental, social and economic impact, whilst also creating the most gorgeous pieces.

We shot at Beehive Studio in Manchester (which is always one of my favourite places to shoot) and had such a lovely day. I got to be reunited with the super talented Ema Crompton, after waaay too long and the sun was shining SO beautifully that day too, so we got some lovely golden hour shots!

The day after, I was reunited with the fab team at Rock On Ruby - a brand and team who I absolutely love working for. My shoot days with them are always so much fun and I loved getting to work along side the gorgeous Rihver and Morgan Barfield again too! 

This time we shot at Editorial Studios - another dreamy spot for shoots in Manchester. We headed up to their rooftop at the end of the day and caught some really cool images (despite the weather being super windy and nearly blowing us all away haha).

BLOUSE - SEZANE // TROUSERS - SEZANE [GIFTED]

I was lucky enough to have gotten to partner with Sezane in September, on a campaign they're doing with Manchester based creatives. They kindly gifted me some amazing pieces to style, whilst also filling me in on their great initiative. 

You can currently get free delivery and special gift with your order, whilst Sezane also give 10% of sales to Royal Manchester Children's Hospital, using the code 'MANCHESTER'.  It's such a great way to treat yourself, whilst also giving to others in the process. 

I'm so glad I got to be a part of it!

The last few days of the month were spent celebrating mine and Josh's 2 year anniversary. If you know me, then you'll know I'm a person who loves the celebrate any occasion and I'm also a soppy git, so I knew I wanted to do something nice for it.

Given the current circumstances, we were kind of limited to what we could do, but we had a lovely nights stay at Whitworthe Locke and also enjoyed the most delicious meal (and cocktails) at the Alchemist! 

We then had the perfect (hangover) breakfast at Foundation Coffee House. I was surprised I could still be hungover with a 10pm curfew, but there we go haha! All in all it was a weekend filled with my lovely boyfriend, great food and a gorgeous place to stay. 

Heading into the start of October, I had two more lovely shoots lined up, the first one being with Oubas Knitwear, who create simple, sustainable and luxurious pieces, which reflect the artisanal history of Cumbria and The Lake District where they are based. 

I headed to Cumbria nice and early, meeting the lovely Kate at the train station (dodging the pouring down rain the process). We were so worried about the weather - it was typical that we'd planned to shoot in the beautiful outdoors on a day where rain and cloud was forecast all day long. I have to say though, I think we absolutely used the windy weather to our advantage and got some amazing shots. Plus, it's always nice to be shooting cosy knitwear when it's cold! 

We worked with several locations, which was lovely for me, because Cumbria is so so different to the city life and tall industrial buildings I'm used to. I really got to have a little day of exploring in the process of shooting. I was constantly staring out the car window on the way to each place, taking in the cobbled streets and fields filled with fluffy cows. I loved it!

I think Oubas reflect the homely feel that Cumbria has so so well, and it was such a joy to explore, shoot and spend the day with Kate and the talented Jayde too! 

The last shoot I have to mention was with Wilderness Bride - the most gorgeous Bridal Wear brand creating classic, simple and elegant pieces designed and made in the UK. I've worked with Wilderness Bride previously but this time around felt so special, with the most wonderful team. 

I've been wanting to work with the amazing Rosie Woods for so long (I'm truly obsessed with her photography) and I finally had to the chance to.  I also had Lisa Simms doing the most beautiful hair and make up (I will be trying to recreate this hairstyle for the foreseeable future) and we had this stunning floral display by Living Colour Flowers.

I mean, if a day of wearing wedding dress after wedding dress isn't the best day ever then, what is? I'm always in awe of the beautiful creations Wilderness Bride have, and even though I was simply modelling the dresses, I felt so special in their gorgeous space! 

I can't wait to see the rest of the images from this shoot - it was a dream!

Read more »

I'm sat here in my element right now. The cosy dark mornings are back, the coats have been pulled from the back of the wardrobe and knitwear season is in full swing. It's no secret that I think we've all been waiting for Autumn to hit - this pandemic feels a lot less intense when the weather is screaming 'stay inside and stay warm!'. I mean, if it's cold and raining there's less of a need to head outside, and it feels good to stay wrapped up, cosy pyjamas on and blankets draped over our knees, right?

Despite the fact that my outfits will mostly be consisting of fluffy loungewear sets for the foreseeable future, I thought I'd put together an edit of all the A/W pieces that have been catching my eye. I absolutely adore Autumn fashion - I love layering pieces, mixing tones and colours, and grabbing for a chunky pair of boots if I do actually have a reason to leave the house. There's some amazing pieces out there right now, especially knitwear wise, so hopefully you might spot something here that will be a new addition to your wardrobe through these colder months!

KNITWEAR -

COATS -

TOPS & BLOUSES -

TROUSERS -

DRESSES -

BOOTS -

• 10/03/2020
• Fashion

The Autumn Edit

I'm sat here in my element right now. The cosy dark mornings are back, the coats have been pulled from the back of the wardrobe and knitwear season is in full swing. It's no secret that I think we've all been waiting for Autumn to hit - this pandemic feels a lot less intense when the weather is screaming 'stay inside and stay warm!'. I mean, if it's cold and raining there's less of a need to head outside, and it feels good to stay wrapped up, cosy pyjamas on and blankets draped over our knees, right?

Despite the fact that my outfits will mostly be consisting of fluffy loungewear sets for the foreseeable future, I thought I'd put together an edit of all the A/W pieces that have been catching my eye. I absolutely adore Autumn fashion - I love layering pieces, mixing tones and colours, and grabbing for a chunky pair of boots if I do actually have a reason to leave the house. There's some amazing pieces out there right now, especially knitwear wise, so hopefully you might spot something here that will be a new addition to your wardrobe through these colder months!

KNITWEAR -

COATS -

TOPS & BLOUSES -

TROUSERS -

DRESSES -

BOOTS -

Read more »

It's no secret that I'm a jewellery lover. I will forever feel that magnetic pull towards any kind of gold jewellery that I catch a glimpse of, and you will always find me with an accessory, all the way from my ear lobes to my finger tips, no matter what the occasion. 

Something that I've been loving lately is this trend of 'odd earrings' (I guess that's what you'd call it, but I don't actually know the technical term). I love how fun it is to have a set of earrings, just like these from Edge of Ember pictured below, that go together hand in hand, yet aren't actually perfectly the same.

EARRINGS - EDGE OF EMBER [GIFTED]

*get 15% with my code 'HOLLY15'*

I've compiled a little edit of some of favourites that have caught my eye lately, just in case any of you guys are loving the trend too! I have to say, a lot of them revolve around the moon and stars, but I did manage to find a few other fun ones if astrology isn't your thing. Anyway, enjoy!

• 9/25/2020
• Fashion

The Mismatched Earrings

It's no secret that I'm a jewellery lover. I will forever feel that magnetic pull towards any kind of gold jewellery that I catch a glimpse of, and you will always find me with an accessory, all the way from my ear lobes to my finger tips, no matter what the occasion. 

Something that I've been loving lately is this trend of 'odd earrings' (I guess that's what you'd call it, but I don't actually know the technical term). I love how fun it is to have a set of earrings, just like these from Edge of Ember pictured below, that go together hand in hand, yet aren't actually perfectly the same.

EARRINGS - EDGE OF EMBER [GIFTED]

*get 15% with my code 'HOLLY15'*

I've compiled a little edit of some of favourites that have caught my eye lately, just in case any of you guys are loving the trend too! I have to say, a lot of them revolve around the moon and stars, but I did manage to find a few other fun ones if astrology isn't your thing. Anyway, enjoy!

Read more »

Hello guys! I hope you're all having a good week this week? 

Today's post is a little edit of a piece I've been absolutely loving lately. Blue shirts have been catching my everywhere, from online stores, to outfits I'm constantly saving to my 'style' folder on Instagram. I love shirts in general, but blue shirts are just a great way to layer (especially under a cream cable knit - love love love!), add a pop of colour to a neutral wardrobe and transition from Summer to Autumn/Winter. 

I recently picked up this one in the image above from Zara and I've been obsessing over it ever since it arrived. I adore the over-sized fit and the tone of blue with my eyes and hair - it's just a really lovely piece to add into my wardrobe! 

I've put together a bunch of other shirts that have caught my eye lately, so do let me know if there's anything that catches your eye too... and, well, enjoy! 

• 9/13/2020
• Fashion

The Blue Shirt Edit

Hello guys! I hope you're all having a good week this week? 

Today's post is a little edit of a piece I've been absolutely loving lately. Blue shirts have been catching my everywhere, from online stores, to outfits I'm constantly saving to my 'style' folder on Instagram. I love shirts in general, but blue shirts are just a great way to layer (especially under a cream cable knit - love love love!), add a pop of colour to a neutral wardrobe and transition from Summer to Autumn/Winter. 

I recently picked up this one in the image above from Zara and I've been obsessing over it ever since it arrived. I adore the over-sized fit and the tone of blue with my eyes and hair - it's just a really lovely piece to add into my wardrobe! 

I've put together a bunch of other shirts that have caught my eye lately, so do let me know if there's anything that catches your eye too... and, well, enjoy! 

Read more »

As I slowly returned back to my normal pre-lockdown life, I began to notice that those 5 long months had given me a lot of self-reflection. They had changed me more than I'd realised. What served me at the start of the year didn't feel quite as fulfilling anymore, and I felt like I'd began to float through life, not really sure of my purpose or where I was heading. I mean, of course this is something we all feel from time-to-time, but this was different. It was like every emotion, instinct, thought and ounce of confidence I had, had come to a stand-still.

My direction used to feel clear and my routine felt fine - it was a routine I could manage at the time and it gave me exactly what I needed - but lockdown was a difficult time for me and returning to 'normal life', releasing the pause button, and carrying on as usual didn't work out quite how I thought it was going to. I faced a lot of things I wasn't expecting to deal with during this year; from things at home, to thoughts in my head, to even the feeling of heartbreak as the months between Josh and I became longer and longer. It was almost like I reverted back to a former self that found herself longing for happiness I thought I already had.

Like I said, I thought I'd be heading through these last few months of the year still as fulfilled and content as I was in January, but I soon realised that nothing felt the same.

I found myself in a constant state of panic - it was this feeling that I was being dragged away from everything I loved - something which I didn't even really notice I was feeling until, one morning, when I had to pull myself out of bed and head to work, my body just wouldn't let me. Every part of my body felt pained by the idea of having to move, put a smile on my face and chat like everything felt fine, when inside everything was crashing down for me. I wanted to consider it a blip of anxiety, I wanted to consider it my female hormones raging through my body at my time of the month, but it wasn't. It was something that had been ruminating inside me for weeks, months even.

More often than not, I can carry on as normal even on my lowest days. It's like I've trained myself to power through the emotionless state and just pretend it's all fine, but, slowly, I'm realising that nothing in my life is going to feel better if I don't stop and take the time to get to the root of it all. To put time into taking care of myself, my mental health, my feelings.

I've decided to throw myself back into the things that bring me joy - the things that give me a sense of purpose in this life. I want to feel excited after a days work, not like my battery life has been drained because I started the day out like a Duracell bunny and now I'm here, on a Friday night, in bed, exhausted.

To put my heart and soul into creating again is what I feel is needed for me right now. I want to feel the excitement of working with brands I love and shoot-days with like minded people. I've missed the feeling of getting to push myself further with my content, no longer feeling stagnant, and I crave that feeling of typing out my thoughts on my keyboard and having the freedom to strike when inspiration hits. I've just missed putting my all into what I love and now feels like the right time to take a step back, focus on me and make myself happy again.

What I'm getting at here is, and it's not an easy decision to make, but I'm going back to being fully freelance again in October (yay!). I mean, at least until I've sorted myself out anyway and as long as my bank balance allows it (seriously though, if you see me shopping, stop me haha). I guess I just thought, if not now, then when, right? Sometimes you just have to put yourself and your happiness first.

I hope it's a choice where I can look back at the end of the year be glad I took the time for me, and that I remember it was a decision I made with all the best intentions.


So, yeah, here's to that! *clink* Let's see where the next few months that take me...

• 9/12/2020
• Lifestyle

Back To The Root Of It All

As I slowly returned back to my normal pre-lockdown life, I began to notice that those 5 long months had given me a lot of self-reflection. They had changed me more than I'd realised. What served me at the start of the year didn't feel quite as fulfilling anymore, and I felt like I'd began to float through life, not really sure of my purpose or where I was heading. I mean, of course this is something we all feel from time-to-time, but this was different. It was like every emotion, instinct, thought and ounce of confidence I had, had come to a stand-still.

My direction used to feel clear and my routine felt fine - it was a routine I could manage at the time and it gave me exactly what I needed - but lockdown was a difficult time for me and returning to 'normal life', releasing the pause button, and carrying on as usual didn't work out quite how I thought it was going to. I faced a lot of things I wasn't expecting to deal with during this year; from things at home, to thoughts in my head, to even the feeling of heartbreak as the months between Josh and I became longer and longer. It was almost like I reverted back to a former self that found herself longing for happiness I thought I already had.

Like I said, I thought I'd be heading through these last few months of the year still as fulfilled and content as I was in January, but I soon realised that nothing felt the same.

I found myself in a constant state of panic - it was this feeling that I was being dragged away from everything I loved - something which I didn't even really notice I was feeling until, one morning, when I had to pull myself out of bed and head to work, my body just wouldn't let me. Every part of my body felt pained by the idea of having to move, put a smile on my face and chat like everything felt fine, when inside everything was crashing down for me. I wanted to consider it a blip of anxiety, I wanted to consider it my female hormones raging through my body at my time of the month, but it wasn't. It was something that had been ruminating inside me for weeks, months even.

More often than not, I can carry on as normal even on my lowest days. It's like I've trained myself to power through the emotionless state and just pretend it's all fine, but, slowly, I'm realising that nothing in my life is going to feel better if I don't stop and take the time to get to the root of it all. To put time into taking care of myself, my mental health, my feelings.

I've decided to throw myself back into the things that bring me joy - the things that give me a sense of purpose in this life. I want to feel excited after a days work, not like my battery life has been drained because I started the day out like a Duracell bunny and now I'm here, on a Friday night, in bed, exhausted.

To put my heart and soul into creating again is what I feel is needed for me right now. I want to feel the excitement of working with brands I love and shoot-days with like minded people. I've missed the feeling of getting to push myself further with my content, no longer feeling stagnant, and I crave that feeling of typing out my thoughts on my keyboard and having the freedom to strike when inspiration hits. I've just missed putting my all into what I love and now feels like the right time to take a step back, focus on me and make myself happy again.

What I'm getting at here is, and it's not an easy decision to make, but I'm going back to being fully freelance again in October (yay!). I mean, at least until I've sorted myself out anyway and as long as my bank balance allows it (seriously though, if you see me shopping, stop me haha). I guess I just thought, if not now, then when, right? Sometimes you just have to put yourself and your happiness first.

I hope it's a choice where I can look back at the end of the year be glad I took the time for me, and that I remember it was a decision I made with all the best intentions.


So, yeah, here's to that! *clink* Let's see where the next few months that take me...

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Well hello you lovely lot, how are we all? I'm currently typing this out from under my duvet, tucked up in bed, because this week as totally worn me out! There has been a huge leap of returning to somewhat of 'normality' after months of home life lately, and it's just A LOT to get used to again, you know?

I've spent my week back in my old routine of Northern Rail train journeys and copious amounts of coffee to keep me going, but it's also been filled with lots of exciting days of work and seeing friends, so that's been nice.

I began my week back at my part time job but, honestly, I feel like I never had a break in the first place. It's odd how you can slip back into something like that and feel no different at all. Everything feels exactly the same as it did before but the only difference from 6 months ago is that I'm always accompanied by a face mask and hand sanitizer now!

It's been pretty easy to go back into the old routine, but I think physically it's been quite tiring. I'm used to sitting down and scrolling aimlessly on my phone every five minutes so maybe that's why, but I'm sure I'll start feeling less worn out sooner or later.

Before heading back to work the other day though, I manged to finally catch up with Hannah, shoot some new blog photos in the city and obviously have a glass of wine or two. It was like a breath of fresh air to go back to shooting in Manchester and catching up with a friend - it's something I'd missed so much through lockdown and I can't wait to get back into doing it more (once this crazy rain stops, of course!)

On top of heading back into shooting blog content in Manchester, I've also had a week filled with modelling - another thing I'd been craving to get back into!

I got to shoot with an amazing team for Rock On Ruby on Friday - I'd worked with the brand previously for their Christmas campaign last year and had such a good time, so was so excited to see them again! It was also great to see Rihver and Morgan who I'd worked with before and it was just such a laugh and such a lovely shoot to get me back into the swing of things!

Then on Saturday I got to shoot for my lovely friend Liv's brand Olivia Annabelle Apparel once again. Her new collection is inspired by the sea, sailors, sirens and water, so I got to spend the day prancing around like a little sea fairy in her gorgeous designs!

Even in the BTS shots above, you can see the amazing statement collars and prints the pieces have, so keep your eyes peeled for that collection to drop because it's so so good!

It was another lovely day to finish the week off with, and it always helps when Liv has Percy Pigs as shoot snacks - it's a huge motivator haha!

I hope you've all had a lovely week this last week and if you've headed back to work like me, I hope you're surviving and giving yourself some well deserved rest when you need it ♥

• 8/23/2020
• Lifestyle

Life In Black & White 0.6

Well hello you lovely lot, how are we all? I'm currently typing this out from under my duvet, tucked up in bed, because this week as totally worn me out! There has been a huge leap of returning to somewhat of 'normality' after months of home life lately, and it's just A LOT to get used to again, you know?

I've spent my week back in my old routine of Northern Rail train journeys and copious amounts of coffee to keep me going, but it's also been filled with lots of exciting days of work and seeing friends, so that's been nice.

I began my week back at my part time job but, honestly, I feel like I never had a break in the first place. It's odd how you can slip back into something like that and feel no different at all. Everything feels exactly the same as it did before but the only difference from 6 months ago is that I'm always accompanied by a face mask and hand sanitizer now!

It's been pretty easy to go back into the old routine, but I think physically it's been quite tiring. I'm used to sitting down and scrolling aimlessly on my phone every five minutes so maybe that's why, but I'm sure I'll start feeling less worn out sooner or later.

Before heading back to work the other day though, I manged to finally catch up with Hannah, shoot some new blog photos in the city and obviously have a glass of wine or two. It was like a breath of fresh air to go back to shooting in Manchester and catching up with a friend - it's something I'd missed so much through lockdown and I can't wait to get back into doing it more (once this crazy rain stops, of course!)

On top of heading back into shooting blog content in Manchester, I've also had a week filled with modelling - another thing I'd been craving to get back into!

I got to shoot with an amazing team for Rock On Ruby on Friday - I'd worked with the brand previously for their Christmas campaign last year and had such a good time, so was so excited to see them again! It was also great to see Rihver and Morgan who I'd worked with before and it was just such a laugh and such a lovely shoot to get me back into the swing of things!

Then on Saturday I got to shoot for my lovely friend Liv's brand Olivia Annabelle Apparel once again. Her new collection is inspired by the sea, sailors, sirens and water, so I got to spend the day prancing around like a little sea fairy in her gorgeous designs!

Even in the BTS shots above, you can see the amazing statement collars and prints the pieces have, so keep your eyes peeled for that collection to drop because it's so so good!

It was another lovely day to finish the week off with, and it always helps when Liv has Percy Pigs as shoot snacks - it's a huge motivator haha!

I hope you've all had a lovely week this last week and if you've headed back to work like me, I hope you're surviving and giving yourself some well deserved rest when you need it ♥

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Sometimes I don't quite know how to write about fashion anymore. I don't know if it's because I don't feel like there's much to say or I simply can't articulate much about clothes anymore, but I'm back today trying to give it a go and to chat to you about the wardrobe staples I've been grabbing for, non-stop, during this month of up and down weather and trips into the city!

Now, most of the staples in my wardrobe come under the 'neutral' category, in fact, all of them do. There's no doubt that if I'm unsure about what to wear, a beige look is my go-to.

I've been obsessed with this knitted Karen Miller dress (gifted) ever since it dropped on my doorstep. I love the comfy, yet figure flattering fit and it's just the perfect thing to throw on when the weather heats up. It's also great to layer with, like I've done here. I love wearing this Nasty Gal lightweight shirt over the top when it get's a little bit more chilly - the colours pair perfectly together and it just gives everything this relaxed, laid back feel.

DRESS - KAREN MILLEN [GIFTED] // SHIRT - NASTY GAL // HAT - ACCESSORIZE

Another staple for me lately is this Accessorize bucket hat. I never thought I'd fall for the bucket hat trend, but here I am, well and truly obsessed.

I mean, not only is a hat a practical accessory for someone like me, who's currently sitting here typing with sunburnt legs and arms because I forgot I can't handle the sun, but it's also just super cute! I love the festival-chic vibe a bucket hat gives, but I also think they can be so lovely and classy with the right look.

This Accessorize one I find to feel so elegant paired with a dress - the kind of thing made for picnicking in the park, surrounded by daisies and a glass of rosé in hand. It also works really well with this look I feel, since all the colours are matchy-matchy!

BAG - HVISK [GIFTED] // SHOES - TOPSHOP

And, last but not least, let's talk shoes and bags!

I've been grabbing for this HVISK bag (gifted) non-stop. I love how it just pairs with any outfit perfectly and it's all a small shoulder bag but it manages to fit all of my bits and bobs in it somehow. The material is amazing for on-the-go too - it's like a shiny vinyl, wonderful for getting lipstick and coffee stains off of (I'm a very clumsy person, okay!).

Shoes wise, you've heard me talk about these Topshop heels a million and one times before so I won't chat on about them too much, but they're truly my obsession when it comes to trying to dress up my looks.

I just find that a white heel manages to make a look go from casual and chilled, to ready to take on the evening, so easily. Whenever I want to feel dressed up, these are what I always reach for!

What are the staples in your wardrobe right now? Let me know!

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• 8/16/2020
• Fashion

The Current Wardrobe Staples

Sometimes I don't quite know how to write about fashion anymore. I don't know if it's because I don't feel like there's much to say or I simply can't articulate much about clothes anymore, but I'm back today trying to give it a go and to chat to you about the wardrobe staples I've been grabbing for, non-stop, during this month of up and down weather and trips into the city!

Now, most of the staples in my wardrobe come under the 'neutral' category, in fact, all of them do. There's no doubt that if I'm unsure about what to wear, a beige look is my go-to.

I've been obsessed with this knitted Karen Miller dress (gifted) ever since it dropped on my doorstep. I love the comfy, yet figure flattering fit and it's just the perfect thing to throw on when the weather heats up. It's also great to layer with, like I've done here. I love wearing this Nasty Gal lightweight shirt over the top when it get's a little bit more chilly - the colours pair perfectly together and it just gives everything this relaxed, laid back feel.

DRESS - KAREN MILLEN [GIFTED] // SHIRT - NASTY GAL // HAT - ACCESSORIZE

Another staple for me lately is this Accessorize bucket hat. I never thought I'd fall for the bucket hat trend, but here I am, well and truly obsessed.

I mean, not only is a hat a practical accessory for someone like me, who's currently sitting here typing with sunburnt legs and arms because I forgot I can't handle the sun, but it's also just super cute! I love the festival-chic vibe a bucket hat gives, but I also think they can be so lovely and classy with the right look.

This Accessorize one I find to feel so elegant paired with a dress - the kind of thing made for picnicking in the park, surrounded by daisies and a glass of rosé in hand. It also works really well with this look I feel, since all the colours are matchy-matchy!

BAG - HVISK [GIFTED] // SHOES - TOPSHOP

And, last but not least, let's talk shoes and bags!

I've been grabbing for this HVISK bag (gifted) non-stop. I love how it just pairs with any outfit perfectly and it's all a small shoulder bag but it manages to fit all of my bits and bobs in it somehow. The material is amazing for on-the-go too - it's like a shiny vinyl, wonderful for getting lipstick and coffee stains off of (I'm a very clumsy person, okay!).

Shoes wise, you've heard me talk about these Topshop heels a million and one times before so I won't chat on about them too much, but they're truly my obsession when it comes to trying to dress up my looks.

I just find that a white heel manages to make a look go from casual and chilled, to ready to take on the evening, so easily. Whenever I want to feel dressed up, these are what I always reach for!

What are the staples in your wardrobe right now? Let me know!

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Happy Weekend everyone! I hope we've all been enjoying the sunshine, sipping gin and applying our factor 50. The weather has been so glorious, but it's definitely been too much for my little ginger-self to handle haha!

I popped into town yesterday to shoot some outfits and have a catch up with Han (managed not to melt into a puddle in the process too, which was great) and it made me realise just how much I'd missed that part of my life. I'd missed Manchester and it's beautiful buildings, and afternoon drinks with my friends... it was well  and truly needed. It also means I've finally got some decent images to use for blog posts too!

So, in the spirit of new photos, and this fabulous H&M short suit, I thought I'd put together a little edit of some fabulous short suits that I've spotted lately! Enjoy!

BLAZER - H&M // SHORTS - H&M

• 8/15/2020
• Fashion

The Short Suit Edit

Happy Weekend everyone! I hope we've all been enjoying the sunshine, sipping gin and applying our factor 50. The weather has been so glorious, but it's definitely been too much for my little ginger-self to handle haha!

I popped into town yesterday to shoot some outfits and have a catch up with Han (managed not to melt into a puddle in the process too, which was great) and it made me realise just how much I'd missed that part of my life. I'd missed Manchester and it's beautiful buildings, and afternoon drinks with my friends... it was well  and truly needed. It also means I've finally got some decent images to use for blog posts too!

So, in the spirit of new photos, and this fabulous H&M short suit, I thought I'd put together a little edit of some fabulous short suits that I've spotted lately! Enjoy!

BLAZER - H&M // SHORTS - H&M

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It's been a long time since I've been able to say I've not been into the city. I'm someone who's regularly back-and-to to Manchester, London or wherever, and I'm basically always on the move. I never normally have the time to sit at home and rest up like I have done this year. Yet, 2020 threw me in a spin and held me hostage to my home village of grass, horses and local pubs, and it's now been 5 months since I've seen my favourite place and all it's hustle and bustle. Soon, however, I'm heading back to work and I'll hopefully be comforted by my old routine in doing so. Honestly, I just can't actually wait to have my normality back again.

DRESS - GHOSPELL [GIFTED]

It's strange to think that I've not been into Manchester for such a long period of time. Manchester has always felt like home to me, sometimes even more than my actual home does. It feels like somewhere I can just 'be'. I can walk round there, no fear of who I am or what people think. It's where my friendships began, where my relationship began, it's the place that sparked that feeling of 'self' when I felt completely lost.

Not only that, but it's a place filled with so much opportunity and excitement for me. It's a place with something new around every corner and it's crazy how much inspiration you can find there. I love that about city life.

I think as much as I love my home comforts, my own company, my own space and privacy of home, I really do feel like I thrive more when surrounded by the busy streets and the bumping into friends that the city always offers me. I've been longing for coffee dates with pals as we both finish our morning shifts, and I've even been reminiscing the slow walkers on Market Street as I'm trying to race myself down to the Zara sale. It's weird that such little things that can make such a big difference to how I feel, but god I've forgotten how much a city can excite me.

SHOES - TOPSHOP

One thing I've missed more than anything is the creative freedom the city brings. I've missed the tall buildings and the retro cafes in the Northern Quarter. I've missed stepping off the train and having a dreamy backdrop right in front of me or the ability to stop and take a picture no matter where I am. I've missed graffiti on walls and music from bars filling the streets, even just the simple things like noticing the little huddles of people having their lunch breaks in Cathedral Gardens. The city is the place where my creative spark flies, and to be reunited with Manchester, after 5 long months of quiet village life, will be just what I've been needing.

So, yeah, here's to a little slice of normality again and goodbye to the long 5 months that have kept me and my favourite city apart. ♥

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• 8/08/2020
• Lifestyle

To Be Reunited With The City

It's been a long time since I've been able to say I've not been into the city. I'm someone who's regularly back-and-to to Manchester, London or wherever, and I'm basically always on the move. I never normally have the time to sit at home and rest up like I have done this year. Yet, 2020 threw me in a spin and held me hostage to my home village of grass, horses and local pubs, and it's now been 5 months since I've seen my favourite place and all it's hustle and bustle. Soon, however, I'm heading back to work and I'll hopefully be comforted by my old routine in doing so. Honestly, I just can't actually wait to have my normality back again.

DRESS - GHOSPELL [GIFTED]

It's strange to think that I've not been into Manchester for such a long period of time. Manchester has always felt like home to me, sometimes even more than my actual home does. It feels like somewhere I can just 'be'. I can walk round there, no fear of who I am or what people think. It's where my friendships began, where my relationship began, it's the place that sparked that feeling of 'self' when I felt completely lost.

Not only that, but it's a place filled with so much opportunity and excitement for me. It's a place with something new around every corner and it's crazy how much inspiration you can find there. I love that about city life.

I think as much as I love my home comforts, my own company, my own space and privacy of home, I really do feel like I thrive more when surrounded by the busy streets and the bumping into friends that the city always offers me. I've been longing for coffee dates with pals as we both finish our morning shifts, and I've even been reminiscing the slow walkers on Market Street as I'm trying to race myself down to the Zara sale. It's weird that such little things that can make such a big difference to how I feel, but god I've forgotten how much a city can excite me.

SHOES - TOPSHOP

One thing I've missed more than anything is the creative freedom the city brings. I've missed the tall buildings and the retro cafes in the Northern Quarter. I've missed stepping off the train and having a dreamy backdrop right in front of me or the ability to stop and take a picture no matter where I am. I've missed graffiti on walls and music from bars filling the streets, even just the simple things like noticing the little huddles of people having their lunch breaks in Cathedral Gardens. The city is the place where my creative spark flies, and to be reunited with Manchester, after 5 long months of quiet village life, will be just what I've been needing.

So, yeah, here's to a little slice of normality again and goodbye to the long 5 months that have kept me and my favourite city apart. ♥

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