As I write this, the skies are grey, my bedroom feels dark and these sunny images feel like a lifetime ago. It's weird how quickly not only the weather can change, but our feelings and emotions too. I feel like at the start of lockdown, I was full to the brim with ideas and motivation that I threw at everything with full force... now, on the other hand, things have begun to feel slow and heavy - I keep blaming it on the weather but I think I'm just starting to miss my old life a lot.

Lockdown has become a confusing phenomenon that I feel like we're all battling through. Does anyone really know what they're doing anymore? There are people out there who feel like it's over, there are people who still don't want to pop round to their friends or nip to the shop because they're scared, and there are people, like me, who don't really know what the hell is going on or what to do. 

No matter how hard I've tried during this time, I feel like I've lacked routine. I've woken up at the same time each day, written a to-do list, drank my coffee etc etc. but none of it has ever felt right. It's all still felt a little messy and all over the place, and this change in weather has definitely shown me that.

I think that we were all taking a lot of solace in the warm weather, I know I was. Waking up to bright blue skies and thinking about what pretty dress I would wear on my afternoon walk was something that kept me going - without that, I feel a little lost.

For a moment, I'm going to pretend the sun is still shining. I'm going to look through these photos and try and take myself back to that place where the weather was warm and my energy was high. Hopefully it'll spark something in me again, but, hey, if not, I'll just keep eyeing up the weather forecast every morning, waiting on that heatwave to hit again. 

Heatwave or no heatwave, evenings for me have been some of the best moments during lockdown. It's that time of day that I feel that I'm allowed to do nothing and to just 'be'. The days have felt really long and sometimes I get to 6pm and think 'thank god!'. I love knowing I can retreat back into my pyjamas with Disney+ on my laptop, guilt free.

I love seeing the light leaking through my blinds as the sun sets, and settling down with a cup of tea as a scroll through my Instagram feed for the millionth time of the day.

It's the little things sometimes. I really have a lot of love for evenings at home.

Before the warm weather disappeared however, I did have some really love afternoons in the sunshine too. From BBQs, to visits at the beach early in the morning, it was really nice to have those moments while the sun was around. 

I feel like the sun kept morale high and made everything feel a little more... normal? I guess. Not that things don't feel kind of normal now, but it's just starting to feel like one big grey Sunday that will never end. 

All I can say is, take me back please!