My recent trip to Amsterdam has really opened my eyes to something that I'm definitely lacking in my life - escapism.
I never escape. I'm constantly thinking, working, wondering, worrying, creating and even when I'm sat at my laptop watching Netflix, my mind is ticking over. Okay yes, Mental Health is definitely a big contributor to that, because well, my life isn't all Instagram pics and outfit posts, but at the same time, I think it's just what my life has become.

I'm basically self-employed when it comes to Blogging - I'm my own boss and so it's very difficult to just stop working. Plus the fact that with blogging, you actually never really stop working, it's a full time thing and well, I'm a workaholic. 

I love being on top of things, I hate falling behind and I'm super organised person. However, recently I've slipped a little and I feel so out of control with my blog and everything. I'm trying to improve my content, my photos and my social accounts, whilst also just trying to remain a happy person - it's tough. Things have been happening in my personal life lately and it's been difficult to be constantly posting positive instagram posts or organizing collaborations when I've had so many other things on my mind. My head literally felt like it was going to explode.



Amsterdam was my first trip away without my Parents. It was my first experience of being totally free and god damn, am I glad that I went. 

I had relied on my Mum constantly for basically 2 years not long ago and couldn't even leave the house without her and so, to be free and independent was absolutely amazing. You see, I'm both the baby of my family and of my friends, and so I think I've always felt like I don't really know what I'm doing or that I need to be looked after. And despite the fact that yes, I might be incredibly clumsy and nervous a lot of the time, I CAN actually survive on my own. 

I've always worried about the day I'd have to fend for myself - I'm rubbish with money, I panic any time I feel remotely lost anywhere and to be honest, I can be too nice for my own good sometimes. However, even though I was on holiday with my friends, I got a taste of what it would be like to do things myself and I loved it. It's triggered something inside me and for once, it's not something negative.

When I'm at home, I am very set in my ways, I like a good ol' daily routine and I love working. However, going on the a little trip away did me the world of good. It allowed me to forget about timings and work and just breathe. And as silly as it sounds, I sometimes feel like I forget to breathe and that's just a basic bodily function. It felt so good to be out of my house, of my country and just experience something new. I felt independent and yes, there were moments where things went a bit wrong or I thought how great it would be to be in my own bed, but honestly, it's the happiest I have felt in the past 6 months at least. 



And so, I've been thinking, it's good to get away. It's good to see something other than your bedroom walls, to break your routine, to be independent. I really needed to do it, I'd almost began to fall backwards a bit but it's opened my eyes up to see all of the opportunities that there are out there, what I could do with my life and where I could end up. Of course, it's good to work hard, I mean, how else am I going to achieve the things I'd like to? But, it's also good to take a step back and do something new, scare yourself, break your boundaries. Don't trap yourself in a repetitive cycle constantly - breathe. 

If I hadn't taken the plunge and gone on this trip, I'd never have had the best 3 days ever with my friends, visited somewhere I'd never been before, seen the culture and met some exciting people along the way. And now I know, it's good to take chances and I need to do it waaaaay more often. 



Photography: Annabel Smith

So, take my advice. If you're um-ing and ah-ing about a decision, consider what it could do for your happiness. Will you regret not doing it in a few years time? I know for a fact that if I hadn't have gone to Amsterdam, that I wouldn't have been given some of experiences that could potentially lead to incredible things and well, even if they don't, at least I took a chance.