I'm very content with my life right now. 

This year for me was originally meant to be 'the best year of my life' and although I wouldn't say that it has been that, this has been a year of, as Kylie Jenner said, (she has come up in waaay too many blog posts over the past few months lol)) realising a lot of stuff. I know that I probably end up saying this at the end of every year, but I really feel like I have become 'me' this year. I feel so happy and like I'm constantly just being honestly and openly myself. I feel free to say what I believe, talk about what I'm passionate about, wear what I want to, look how I want to, be who I want to be. I feel like each month has passed by and every time those next 30 days would pass, I found another piece of myself that I seemed to have lost so so long ago. It's almost like I've been piecing myself back together, yet at the same time, it has ended up creating this new and much more confidence person. 

I very rarely feel ashamed of who I am anymore. I very rarely worry about what other people think. I feel so incredibly free. I walk down the street, most of the time looking wayyyy too overdressed (or on the other end of the spectrum, wayyyy too scruffy haha), with my head held high and not staring down at the floor, hiding my face in shame. I feel accepting of myself - I'll be honest, not 100% accepting, but I'm definitely at the highest percentage of acceptance I've ever been. 

A lot of people praise me for what I do. They tell me how 'brave' I am or that what I do is 'so cool' and I honestly feel so flattered that people think that of me, because, well yes, I work my bloody bum off to do this. I spend every day sat behind a computer screen, typing, scheduling, editing, answering emails and the rest of the time either plonked in front of or behind a camera. I spend my time trying to constantly be inspired and creative and positive. I want to help people, that's what this whole journey of blogging has now lead me to. I want to show people that things are going to be okay. 

Some people out there don't have that many supportive people around them. Some people struggle through things alone and isolated and I can't imagine having to deal with that. I was very very lucky to have (and still do have) some of the most amazing people around me through my darkest times. 

My family are 3 of the most wonderful people you could ever know. They are understanding, compassionate and basically have helped me save myself from something that I never thought I'd be free from. 

As i'm now at a point in my life that I finally feel like that huge weight has been lifted, I want to just say thank you. Thank you to my parents for letting me scream at them, for letting me cry, for letting me breakdown because of minuscule things. I want to thank them for the times they've hugged me or left me alone if I need space. I want them to know that I'm grateful that they understand and have understood, as much as they could, for the entirety of it. I want them to know that I struggle to show how grateful I am that they support what I do, in every possible way and I want them to know that they are constantly on my minds, as motivation, for me to be successful in what I do. 

Without my parents I would be incredibly lost and incredibly unsupported. They allow me to do what I love, every single day. They allow me to have little weird habits or feel down if it all gets a bit too much. They allow me to go and do amazing things and live my life and enjoy what I'm doing. It's just incredible to have two people who just want the best for you.

So, yes.. Hi Mum and Dad (you will definitely be reading because I will make you lol), this blog post is for you. This blog post is for you to come back to when you're ever feeling a bit crap or you just need reminding that you're amazing (and yes, very cool, Dad.) parents. This is for me to show you that I'm so so grateful for all that you do, and have done for me because like I said, I kind of struggle to show it sometimes.

You are both incredible and amazing people; you are hardworking and unbelievably strong and without you, I would not be where I am today, doing what I love and finally feeling so very content with my life.


Merry Christmas you weirdos ♥

(and also, a very Merry Christmas to anyone reading that aren't my weird and wonderful parents!)

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