"Don't force yourself to fit where you don't belong."

Sometimes I feel lost. I feel like I don't fit in.

Where I live, I find that you're either 'in' or you're 'out'. Even once you've left High School, gotten married, had a couple of kids, it still seems to be the case. And, to be honest with you, I don't want to live in a world like that. I don't like living in a world like that.






Don't get me wrong, my home is my home. I will always come back here and feel nostalgic and be reminded of different memories, but I don't think I 'feel' at home here. I don't feel free and comfortable and able to express myself as much as I should do.

I don't feel like this is somewhere that I belong.






However, let's take Manchester for example.

This wonderful city just has the ability to do something to me.

This city puts me at ease - I feel like I can finally be myself here.

I feel like I can strut through the streets in my stripey trousers, wear my bold red lips and shoot photos and stand posing in the rain. I feel free to dance about in the street without people looking at me like I'm a maniac, and I feel like I'm free to smile at strangers and them respond nicer than people who recognize me from our 5 long High School years together, but yet still choose to blank me like they've never seen me before in my life.

I feel at home in Manchester. Even though it isn't my home at all.






You see, sometimes home isn't actually your house or your bedroom, or even the place you grew up, but it's the place you first felt able to scream 'I'm Holly White and I'm not afraid to say it!!' at the top of your lungs, or the place you first felt able to wear your wackiest outfit or simply just the place you and your friends hang out the most. Home can be anywhere that you feel it is.





"Home"

That's something I've come to realise. I can feel 'at home' when I'm not actually 'at home'.

I can be 'at home' in a fashion, or in a certain coffee shop. I can be 'at home' in a haircut or a lip colour. I can be 'at home' with a person, or by hearing a familiar sentence.

Home is literally where your heart is.

Home is literally where your heart is warm and fuzzy, where you feel relaxed and happy. And, well, if that's not your 'actual' home, then that's totally okay.