This past week or so has been a period of change for me. I've been slowly trying to find myself again - I've felt lost amongst a sea of Bali bikini photos, beautifully shot streets style, and PR events I couldn't make. I've been clinging onto this vice of comparison, and the sudden consciousness of that has been a weight lifted from my shoulders.
I feel like for a really long time, this comparison to others has completely taken over my life and my creativity. I've found myself so off-track, and panicking over what to produce and how to produce it. I've dabbled in so many different styles, yet it's always left me feeling deflated. There's always something making me think my work isn't as good, and up to scratch, as everyone else's.
I don't live in a picturesque city. There are no beautiful backdrops on my door step. It takes a lot of time to produce content if I'm choosing to shoot outdoors - time that I no longer have a lot of and that has lately been consumed by a lot of ups and downs in my own life.
This whole thing has become so obsessive to me. I can spend hours planning out an Instagram feed and 'stalking' other people to see if my work is as good as theirs. It's driven me mad - mad to the point where it's affected my joy of my job, as well as my mental health.
So, with that in mind, I'm trying to strip it back. I'm trying to focus on me, solely me, and what I'm good at. It may not be the most 'perfect' content, but it's mine. It's personal to me, my own lifestyle and I enjoy creating it.
I think that with the pressures of social media these days, it can be hard not to lose yourself. It's so difficult not to be comparing yourself to everything else that's out there. But, I just want my life to feel more lighthearted again. I just want to go back to creating what I love and enjoy doing it at the same time.
I'm just going to do 'Me', and I hope that's okay.
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