As last year came to a close, I found myself seeking more and more simplicity in my life. From my day-to-day living, to my wardrobe full of clothes and my overflowing thoughts, everything just felt cluttered and unorganized. And then, through some sort of "new decade" epiphany, I suddenly had this new understanding of how I wanted to live and how I saw things going forward.

I no longer felt the urge to hold onto things, both physical and mental, and I slowly began to think about things in a different way. For so so long, everything in my life has felt so jumbled and chaotic, and it's had an effect on me like I never even realised.

I'm a person who truly lives by the mantra "tidy room, tidy mind" and I try and apply it to everything I do. I can't quite sit still knowing things need to be done. I find myself getting so overwhelmed by the copious amounts of things I've accumulated, or by the amount of pressure to be successful that I put on myself. I basically drive myself crazy.

I think one of the hardest things I've had to let go of is this notorious insanity I've carried around with me since my teens. My mental health has always defined a huge part of me and, despite the fact that I still struggle with it now, things are a lot better and I need to teach that irrational part of my mind to accept that.

There seems to be this mentality, especially with eating disorders, that we tell ourselves that we don't 'really' want to get better, and that can have us clinging onto every vice for dear life.

I want to simply focus more on my issues in the here and the now. And, rather than the usual brain overload state that I get myself into, I'm trying to take things day by day and take small, slow steps to combat my problems.

I want to try and make my day-to-day life easier on myself. Don't we all?
I'm learning to try and understand my emotions more, and to understand when I truly need a break. I'm finding myself more and more able to take time on my own to practice some self-care and that's a lot more than I've actually managed to do before.

There are emotions sunk deep inside me that I don't need anymore - things I'm clinging onto for no god damn reason - but I'm feeling ready to let go of those things and focus on the issues that I have present day.

I actually spent a lot of the end of last year decluttering all of my belongings, on top of my clothes too.

As I've grown older, I've found myself wanting to live more sustainably and understanding that I don't need to hang onto everything that enters my life. I mean, it's hard with the job that I do - PR packages turn up on a regular basis, fashion is constantly changing and as a creator you have to keep up to date - but sometimes things just don't get used enough, or worn enough, or loved enough, and that's when I need to consider the fact something may be more enjoyed by someone else.

Over this year, the decluttering process will 100% be ongoing. It's a big job to tackle when I've been working from the same bedroom in my hometown for the last 6 years, but I'm looking forward to the end result and hope to create almost a 'one in one out' kind of system with my belongings.

I want to donate to charity more, share things with friends more and have clarity to live in the space I work in.

I've realised that clutter doesn't suit me, in any sense of the word. I like the plain, the simple, the easy, and I'm just trying to implement that more and more.

I'm not saying that I leapt into the new year feeling like I had some fresh clean slate, because I certainly haven't. The January blues have been defiant over the last week or so, as they always are. I hoped I'd spring into action as the 1st week of the year hit, but it's been harder than expected. However, to even have this fresh mindset to work off of, is something wonderful to me.

I'm excited to experience more rationality and stability in 2020. It's something I've sought after for so long in my life, but it's only now that I truly understand those little things I need to do to achieve it.

So, yeah, I'm letting go of a lot of stuff, but with that comes a sense of ease as I see my life becoming more and more simple to venture through.

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