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27.4.17

The 'Can't Relate' Mentality


'Can't relate' - that's something we hear a lot these days. We hear something - something not entirely familiar to us - and we decide to be ignorant. We decide, rather than stopping and thinking from another point of view or putting ourselves in someone else's shoes, that we 'can't relate' and therefore we don't want to know.




People don't seem willing to want to learn, or to just think about things. People tend to know what they know, think that they're right, and that their way is the only way. But, that's not always the best way to go about things.

Sure, I'm all for 'you do you' and not letting what others think of you affect you, but at the same time, I think it's good to open up, learn to relate and to think about things. I think that that's a better way than just shunning things off and not (and excuse me for the airy fairy language here, but I can't think of another way to put it) expanding our minds.




I think I used to be very close minded. When I was younger, I wasn't the 'skinniest', 'prettiest', 'richest', 'most popular' person on the planet, and therefore anyone who was any of those things, I really really resented.

I'd read things that these 'prettier', 'thinner' girls would tweet or post on Facebook. They'd be complaining that they felt 'fat' or looked 'ugly', and I'd sit there and think 'Oh, shut up. You don't have it bad at all.'

The reason I thought like this is because I was simply going off my own thoughts. In my mind, I thought they were beautiful and slim, and therefore, I just presumed that they knew, and thought that they were too.

In reality, those girls probably didn't think that.




I learnt, over time, that being 'pretty' and 'skinny' does not make you happy. It was almost as if I had an epiphany, or a flashback to that moment where I'd read those tweets and status' and I'd judged those girls for saying what they said. I understood now. I understood that you can be as thin as can be and still hate yourself and *feel* 'huge' or 'ugly'.




SHOES -  ASOS

The same goes for money.

Where I live, there are people who have a lot more money than I. There are people driving round in Mercedes, buying designer shoes, and they all have pristine houses and pretty gardens. (I don't want people to think I see anything wrong with that - it's just not something I can easily relate to)

In the past, I always used to be jealous of that. I used to think that because someone had a nice house or because they had a swanky car, that that meant they were totally happy.

Of course, once again, that is not the case.

 



Money doesn't fix every problem.

Certainly, if they've got a leaky pipe or something, they've got the money to get it fixed ASAP, but if they're sad (and I'm talking the kind of 'sad' that I tend to talk about a lot here on this blog) then money isn't going to fix that. Money won't fix a broken mind or heart.

People with money aren't always happy - I just thought they were because I knew what that kind of money would mean to 'me' and how happy it would make 'me'. But, at the end of the day, they're not 'me' and therefore won't necessarily feel the same way that I do.



When it comes to things like politics, mental health, money, and even fashion, people really do like to stick to their own opinions. They don't want to appear 'wrong' and therefore, they chose to be ignorant and argumentative.

Now, don't misunderstand me here, there's nothing bad about a little debate (especially when it comes to politics) however, I feel that there's a difference between trusting your gut, sticking to what you believe and being ignorant to other people's opinions.



It's possible to hear and understand other people's arguments and ideas, without changing your own. Just because one person believes one thing, doesn't mean that the other has to too. It's also possible to have understanding for someone who is different to you - to someone of a different gender or race, or size or shape - it's possible to have compassion and listen.

I think, whilst we're in a world full up of progression and huge change, we're sometimes forgetting that it's okay to 'agree to disagree'.

Everyone is allowed their say - even if you think that their say is wrong.



"Treat everyone with politeness and kindness, not because they are nice, but because you are."

So, next time you read a tweet or you're having a conversation, and someone says something that makes that inner eristic of yours want to burst out... just take a moment. 

Why is that person saying that? Why are they feeling that way? What's their life really like? What's going on in their mind? Who is influencing them? Are they happy? Are they sad? Are they angry? Does their opinion really affect you? Can you understand where they're coming from?

My advice is to think about it all. Put yourselves in someone else's shoes or mind, and gain some perspective. Like I said, let's 'expand our minds' haha. 


Before I love you and leave you, I just want to give a little shout out to the brand Enlist who kindly gifted me two lovely pieces from this look.

Here I'm wearing the gorgeous Emily Sweater and Cleo Coat, which I am absolutely head over heels in love with! I decided to style them together along with my denim jeans, black heels and Chloe bag dupe for a super classic look.

I think this outfit is perfect for this time of year, especially here in the UK where we're still battling with the colder temperatures, but still don't want to be walking round in our giant woolly coats.

Shop the look here:



6 comments:

  1. Love this post. I always try to make an effort to see things from other people's perspective and to not judge people too quickly. Xx

    MintyMemories.blogspot.com

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  2. Great post Holly, no pun intended here but, I can relate, haha. I also absolutely love this outfit. Thought I was ready to put all my jumpers and coats away but this combo seems completely appropriate for the current Autumnal-esuqe Spring we appear to be having. I think I need some more pieces like this in my life right now!

    Samio xx

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  3. Gorgeous look babe and the words are so true. I have more money than I did at University, a good job, house, dog and husband and a new car and I am unhappiest I have ever been! Comparison is definitely my thief of joy and always feeling like what I do isn't good enough, so I need to give myself a break, snap out of it and be grateful for what I am very lucky to have. Thanks for the read hun, much needed atm xxx

    www.lurchhoundloves.com

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  4. Loved reading this, such a great reminder! Also this is my favourite shoot of yours to date, absolutely stunning photos <3

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  5. I loved reading this post! I get that a lot, thinking that money could fix many of my problems but I know at the end of the day, they wouldn't as my mind and heart would be the same, like you said money can't fix a broken heart and mind, and that's so true. Sad but true. But I guess we also forget about appreciating things we already have. Keep these posts up dear! <3
    Kinga xx
    http://rockthisrunway.com/

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  6. Can't believe I only just got around to reading this Holly, its so so true and I know I was guilty of the exact thing that you mentioned thinking when you were younger - that because someone has all the things I considered to be positive (prettiness, body, money, dream job etc) they couldn't possibly moan about anything or have anything negative going on with their lives. It's only as I've grown up that I've become better at trying to understand.
    Love these photos, such a classic outfit and you look gorgeous as always.
    Sophie xxx | Sophar So Good

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