What Are You Afraid Of? ft. A.C.F


For years and years I had a huge phobia of the dark. I would have nightmares and sleep with a light on, for as long as I could remember. I feared what was hidden in the dark - I didn't like the idea of the unknown. Nowadays, nothing about the dark scares me (okay, maybe the idea of a creepy ass clown chasing me down the street in the dark is pretty terrifying, but besides that kind of thing, I'm good.)

You see, the things that scare me now might not have anything to do with having to sleep with a light on, but they're definitely darker than my fear of the literal 'dark' ever was. I fear things like ending up alone or being a failure in life. I fear the idea that I only have one life and I fear that I'll never get to live it to the fullest. 

It's strange how when we're younger, the most trivial and silly things can terrify us, but then we grow up. We grow up and we realise that the world is a pretty scary place, but not necessarily because of mass murderers or like I said, scary ass clowns, but because you eventually reach an age where you have to go out into the world on your own and live your own life and make your own life. 

I talk about this all the time, but dropping out of college was one of the scariest things I've ever done. Once I started recovering from my illnesses, I was terrified and so clueless about what I should do with my life. I'm very lucky to have kind of 'fallen' into modelling, which has turned out to be something I truly love to do, but I also worked my arse off to create this blog and everything that came with it. I never planned on this blog turning into a form of income, but it is. However, it's not a stable income and neither is modelling and that is pretty scary. 

It scares me to know that at any moment, you could all stop reading. You could all just think 'Hol's boring, we don't want to read all of her rambling anymore' . But, I have to ask myself, do I love this enough to risk that? and the answer, of course, is YES. Because despite how scared I am about the future and whether I'm still going to be living with my Mum and Dad when I'm 30 because I never had a 'proper job', I bloody love what I do and it's all worth the fear and the stress if I can turn this into what I get to get up and do everyday. 

Modelling is particularly terrifying too. There's always going to be rejection and people who don't like you, but it's so worth it when you enjoy the job. Modelling makes me feel this sense of inner confidence and I wouldn't change that for anything. It's given me so much more belief in myself and that is worth being a little bit scared over.

I realise that this little ramble has nothing to do with the outfit I'm wearing in this post, but don't worry, I've give you all the deets for that in a second. But I just want to ask you, are you scared about the future? or are you incredibly content and have a clear pathway? Sometimes I worry that I'm floating in this kind of 'limbo' of not knowing what I'm doing and I never really know if I'm floating there alone.

Anyway, this lovely little outfit features a collaboration with a cool brand called A.C.F. They kindly sent me this gorgeous Ainsworth Street Blouse which I decided to style with my lovely Nobody's Child midi skirt and these cute little heeled sandals from EGO. I know that this look isn't very weather appropriate for the current climate here in the UK however, there's no reason you couldn't add a lovely little coat or jacket to this look too!

If you'd like to recreate this look, check out these pieces below:

Ps/ EGO have been nominated for Best Shoes in the Reveal Awards! Go and give them a little vote here: https://www.demographix.com/surveys/2KVG-RM5T/T8GYJLZP/?reveal2016


  1. Love this look Hol! One of my fave outfits of yours, you look so sassy in that last pic! Don't be scared of the future, I think it's something that we all think about, especially as our jobs can be quite unstable, but I just try and remember that it isn't the end of the world if I get bad pay and luckily I'll always have my parents to fall back on!

    R xx

    1. Thanks Robyn! So glad that you like it :-) and you're so right! Things will work themselves out! xx

  2. Hol, I loved this post. Particularly the 'scary ass clown' bit haha!

    But in all seriousness, I'm TERRIFIED of the future. What if I fail at everything? What if I end up completely alone? What if I lose everything? Omg so many questions that I try not to think about. And I think that's the key... just trying not to think about it and focusing on today!

    You look beautiful, as always too <3

    Soph x | www.sophierosie.com

    1. Hahaha, thank you so much Soph!

      YES! That's what I'm like too! But, like you say, just focus on today and take things one step at a time! xx

  3. Love these posts mixing fashion with unrelated lifestyle views - really original, and I'm personally am loving it!
    You're not alone in being scared of the future, it terrifies me. I think you'll be OK Holly, if you have the confidence to model (which I sure don't have) you will be fine in any job. I'm in a dead end job and am scared what the future holds for me.. I just try not to think about it, which, I know, isn't the solution.
    Anyway, take care, love Pixie xxx

    1. Thank you Pixie, I'm so glad that you're liking them!

      Thanks for being so lovely - my job can be scary, but I do love it! If you feel like you're stuck, try and figure out what things you like, the things you're good at and then move from there - nothing is worth being unhappy! xx

  4. I seem to go through waves of feeling scared about the future. Recently I graduated from uni and for the first time ever didn't know what was coming next and it scared the crap out of me! Remembering that everyone goes through those fears and feelings is helpful, and I think perseverance and determination in whatever you do helps.
    It's interesting to hear your story about having to drop out of college - looking back to hard times and being able to see the successes that came after is very powerful as well (sorry if that doesn't make sense, a little sleepy over here, but really lovely post!)

  5. fab post hun. Modelling has done wonders for you and i can see this in certain parts of your post. Unfortunately the future is never clear cut but all we can do is take each day as it comes and see what happens. This is what i do as i have been going through an awful time with anxiety and depression. Take care sweetie,all will be ok for you,i have a good feeling about it xx

  6. College days are beautiful part of every ones life, where we get to understand our responsibilities, where our future start to shape and make us to know what we want to become and how to enrich beautiful life for rest of the future. Think an grow rich, even there is another part of life to enjoy; that is the Spirituality.


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