I've never really felt 'sexy'. I've always been told that I'm this 'cute' 'funny' 'quirky' girl with a bit of a 'goofy smile'. I never get approached in bars or asked for my number on a night out and I've never really thought of myself in that kind of way. I guess that being only 18 years old probably does have something to do with that, but nowadays I see girls who are almost 5 years younger than me, with beautiful curvaceous figures and, who look so damn hot and, I just feel like a wet lettuce in comparison.  

I think I struggle with trying to give off this 'sexy' vibe that other girls just seem to radiate. I don't think I can pull off that kind of 'bad girl' look or present myself in a way that doesn't scream 'I'm innocent, not sexy, stay awaayyyyy'. 

I've always had a very simple and classic style. I don't often gravitate towards the more 'loud' and 'out there' trends and I think this is explains my lack of 'sexiness'... in a weird way? haha. I'm not a super loud person (I'm not quiet, but I'm definitely not 'loud' either). I don't have a hell of a lot of self esteem and to be honest, I'm probably the most insecure person you'll ever meet. I constantly worry about how I look and I think that that means that I don't come across in a very sultry way...

I think to be sexy you have to have at least a little bit of self confidence and feel good in your own skin. Two things which I am incredibly lacking. That's not to say that I'm not confident in anyway at all though. I'm very sure of myself. I would never change who I am or the way I look for the sake of someone else's opinion or to appear 'sexy' in another person's eyes. I want to feel attractive for my own sake, because at the end of the day it's nice to feel good about yourself.

You see, I've always loved the 'Old Hollywood' era. I love the red lips, the classic style and the sassy films, with the sassy women. I've always imagined what it would be like to be a famous actress at that time, and to now be an iconic figure in the place of history. I always loved Marilyn Monroe - the slinky dresses and the way she was idolized and adored by millions. I remember the first time I tried on a red lipstick, I just suddenly felt like her. I felt like I could maybe, one day, be a 'desirable' person, just like she was. But the thing is, even after wearing red lipstick for what is probably going on 5 years nearly now, I've still not gained that confidence to be in anyway 'sexy'. Well, I don't feel like I have anyway.

Don't get me wrong, I put on my red lipstick and I feel soooo empowered. I feel like I look good. I feel like I can conquer pretty much anything... apart from trying to appeal to anyone who might, for an instance, find me attractive. The idea of being 'sexy' is weird to me because, it's not like I'm a nun living in a convent, I love the idea of being this 'foxy' red head that is just full of confidence, but I often just think that I can't come across like that to people since, I'm just seen as 'cute' alllll of the time. 

However, I've started to think that there's no reason why I can't be 'sexy'. I tried on this beautiful dress from Jarlo London and looked in the mirror. I thought to myself how I felt like Marilyn Monroe and how I actually felt god damn hot. And do you know what? Some like it hot. (a little Marilyn Monroe pun for you thete haha). Sometimes I might want to be that 'cutesy' girl with the 'goofy grin' but other times I might want to release my inner Marilyn and just be a bit 'sexier', you know? I think I just need to let go a little bit and stop worrying. I tend to be concerned with the fact that I'm constantly called 'cute' and that i'll be judged for going a little bit off of the 'cute' radar...if that makes any sort of sense... Just because people 'think' that I'm 'cute' doesn't mean that that word has to simply define me. I can define myself in any sort of way that I like.

Basically my point is that, it's okay for me to put on this dress and think that I look good, and it's okay for me to idolize women like Marilyn. It's okay for me to want to be seen as attractive and to feel attractive, and to not be scared to break out from that little box that people tend to put me in. I'm just saying that sometimes we all just need to slap on a little bit of red lipstick and feel sexually empowered. 

Before I love you and leave you with the very rambly blog post about sexiness and red lipstick (I mean, I literally talk nonsense on this blog, don't I?) I just want to give you a little bit of info on this look! Jarlo London contacted me, after working with them previously last year, and asked me to pick some beautiful pieces from their collection. I chose this dress to style because it just instantly caught my eye and I knew exactly how I wanted to wear it. I envisioned the red lip and Old Hollywood kind of vibe and I think it actually turned out really well. I love the silky material and the silver colour - it's perfect for the Christmas period and special occasions. It's the Elizabeth in Pale Silver and I absolutely adore it!

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