Breathe in. Breathe out. Stay Calm. 

I spend my whole life worrying, panicking, stressing and feeling overwhelmed by things. I spend my life overthinking and analyzing and it's almost like I'm suffocating myself with my thoughts. I've dealt with irrational thoughts for years and one of the weirdest ones I've had was a fear of lighting candles. I can't remember what I had read or heard, but something had just terrified me out of wanting to use them. Like I said, it would have been total nonsense...

When it got to Christmas last year (as in 2016. God that feels weird, doesn't it?), I was in the process of making my room all cosy and tumblr-esque when I opened up my wardrobe and found 4 huge  candles that I'd been hoarding for about 2 years. I just looked at them for a moment. Why had I never lit them? Did I really believe what ever it was that was scaring me out of it?


It's crazy to think that I think I get stressed over things now, but back then, I literally obsessed over the idea that candles were a bad thing and I should no longer use them. How irrational is that? What was I thinking? Why did I believe that? That's the thing with irrational thoughts though - we believe them. We believe anything our heads want us to believe. This is why we, I, get so overwhelmingly stressed. My head just panics and believes every little negative thing that pops into my mind. I've had thoughts that are so crazy and random, and then I've gone and completely changed my life over them. It's madness.

Anyway, so yes, I was staring at these candles and I suddenly just picked one up.
Yep, I grabbed my scented candle, a box of matches and lit the bloody damn thing. It felt weirdly uplifting. It was like I was burning away my irrational fear or something (ooo, how arty is that?). I then went on to burn through all 4 candles before New Years Eve - my fear of candles was definitely gone. (I never realised how symbolic this all sounded haha). 


You might be wondering why I'm telling you this really random story about my irrational fear of lighting candles and well, I basically just wanted to show you that one day, you will just get an overwhelming sense of calm and you will block out the irrational nonsense. As soon as I'd lit that candle, it was like this heavy weight had been lifted from my shoulders. It was like I was finally allowed to feel calm. I was allowed to sit in my cosy, fairy light filled room, stick on some Ed Sheeran, light a candle and relax. I was allowed not to worry for a moment.

Whenever I light a candle now I get this feeling of pride (which is probably the weirdest emotion you could feel whilst lighting a candle haha). It reminds me that no matter how crazy and irrational my thoughts are being, that one day I'll get through it and everything won't seem as scary anymore.


Recently, I was contacted by the lovely Hannah who hand pours and creates her own amazing candles at www.sosoy.co.uk. The email came into my inbox at the perfect time, just as my old love for lighting them had come flooding back. She asked me if I'd like to try some of them and feature them here on my blog - I of course said yes, hence this post being created!

I was really excited to receive these - I've never used a candle with soya beans before. I chose the scents Caramel, Patchouli & Honey and Black Coffee, Jasmine & Vanilla. I'm a huge fan of sweet scents so chose the ones which sounded sweetest.

When they arrived, it was like Christmas day again! I opened up the package to find two beautifully boxed candles. The packaging was minimal and simple - just the kind of thing I like - and I was instantly drawn in by the font used on them (yes, I'm that kind of weirdo that likes fonts). 
The first one I decided to burn was the Black Coffee, Jasmine & Vanilla one. This scent is very dark and sexy, yet is definitely still as sweet and delicious as I had hoped. The vanilla comes through a lot, which I love, and the coffee and white florals compliment it beautifully. As soon as I started burning it, I could smell it which was amazing - I love strong scents.
Then, I tried out the Caramel, Patchouli & Honey one. The notes of vanilla and chocolate are what this sold this too me completely. It's a much more warm fragrance compared to the other one, but still equally sweet. Again, as soon as I began to burn this, the scent filled my room and it was just so comforting and cosy. I love both of them so much!

If you'd like to check out So Soy candles and read more about them, how they're made and browse the different scents then you can do so by clicking here!