I need to empty my mind.
I have baggage which I need to unpack.
I have memories, feelings, that are always at the forefront of everything else inside me.
My thoughts spiral. I overthink. There's not a day where I don't feel suffocated by emotion or confused by my conflicting perceptions.
I go through phases, sometimes believing one thought over another or letting one memory get to me more than it should.
I convince myself I'm free, but I have skeletons in that closet that I wish to bury deep.
It's familiar. It's comfortable. I'm happy to waive through it.
I tell myself it's a part of me, a part I can't let go of, but my tired eyes, my tired mind, say quite the opposite.
It drags me down. I'm sinking.
I only have two hands, two hands to carry the weight.
Although I am strong, stronger than I seem, I will soon crumble. I will crumble to my knees.
I am good at faking it through my wide blue eyes.
I will convince you, and myself, that it will all be fine.
It will all be fine.
But, then the days comes where I'm crashing down and I ask myself, I wonder, why did I lie?
Sometimes I am true.
Sometimes I am confused.
I am just seeking balance, something I've never known how to use.
"When you're at the bottom, there's no where to go but up"
But, I will start to unpack.
I will start to unload the memories, the feelings and the forefront of everything inside of me.
I will feel a light-headedness as the calming breeze fills my mind and my feet lift off of the ground.
I will learn, with my only two hands, to empty my outlook of my heavy ideas, my heavy perceptions and to let go.
I will learn to let go.
much love xx
ReplyDelete♥♥ xxx
Deletelots of love honey. I found this rather beautiful, honest and captivating to read! I definitely related to your exact feelings in this. xxxx
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Kat xxxx
DeleteSimply Beautiful!
ReplyDeletedearhumanswithlove.com xo
Thank you! xxx
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