I like attention. There, I said it.
I like people commenting on my outfit, I like praise and I like my achievements being celebrated; I like hugs and I like affection and I like feeling like I'm being noticed.
Validation is something that I like in my life. I like sometimes being the center of attention and the focus being on me, I get a buzz from people being nice to me or telling me I'm good at something, because, sometimes, I just need to bloody hear it. I have to hear the positives sometimes, it's nice to know that you're doing okay.
Maybe this stems from years and years of feeling unappreciated or unworthy.
I never felt good enough when I was younger and so now that I finally do feel kind of good enough, I crave being praised for it. I crave people giving me that recognition that I am accepted, and that I am remotely attractive or 'cool'. I feel like without attention from others, I might wither away into nothingness again and become obsolete; I'll feel alone and not good enough and I'll revert back to being that high school girl that I used to be.
It's weird - I only tend to seek this from the ones closest to me at present, but certainly, in the past, I craved the love and attention from everyone. I wanted the 'popular' kids to like me, I wanted the 'pretty' girls to call me 'pretty' and I wanted boys to see me as 'desirable'. Much like any teenager, I suppose, I just wanted to fit in.
Like I said though, if we are talking about the present day, I really don't crave attention from people who aren't really in my life. I just want to know that the people around me, and that are in my life, do love me and what I do.
I think the fact that I never felt like I did 'fit in' anywhere in the past, is definitely the reason why I now constantly feel the need for reassurance from others. I need to know that people do look at me and think 'wow, look at her go' or 'she looks nice today!' and not 'ew, what a loser'. I want to feel like people can finally see the positives in me and they don't just see, I guess, all the negatives that I'm used to seeing.
Some of you may be reading this and think 'God what an attention seeker', but no, I think that this is incredibly different to attention seeking.
Attention seeking is when a person purposely goes out of their way to gain the attention of others and I can honestly say that I don't do that. Especially nowadays, I am well and truly myself. There is never a moment where I think 'I'm going to say this for attention' or 'I'll do this to make them notice me', I simply just do my thing. I go about my life, not 'seeking' attention.
However, what I am saying is, I like to receive praise and attention for doing my said 'thing'. I like to be recognized for it.
I like to know that what I'm doing is influential or good, I like to know if someone appreciates the sassy outfit I've put together or thinks my hair looks nice and, I like to know when someone loves me and cares about me. At the end of the day, I'm human and human beings crave affection.
You guys seriously can't tell me that when someone compliments your make up, or buys you a present, or shares your blog post, that it doesn't make you feel good? It does! That's what's so nice about it. It's a nice form of attention that I think we, as individuals, all need in our lives.
"You have suffered enough, it's time that you won"
After spending so long hating myself and feeling like everyone hates me too, it's always a pleasant surprise to me when I receive a compliment or someone appreciates what I'm doing. I've mentioned it before, but I've always felt like an irritating presence to people, and well, to know that I'm not, really helps to build me up as a person. Praise helps you grow and learn to appreciate yourself. Hearing that others love you, can help you love yourself - it certainly has with me. And so, yes, I like attention, I crave attention, because I'm human and it's really bloody nice to feel appreciated.
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"You have suffered enough, it's time that you won" — this spoke to me on another level. Great post Holly ^_^
ReplyDeleteLaila from Townhouse Palette
Thank you Laila! xxx
DeleteI used to struggle a lot with self-esteem etc, so I know how you feel. I get so happy when people give me a compliment/tells me they love my blog post and shares it on social media etc. It's so nice to have people say nice things to you. I think maybe as we get older, we find it easier to accept compliments and realise they're true too? x
ReplyDeleteJenny | LuxeStyle
Yeah, I totally agree with that! We definitely learn to love ourselves more as we get older! xxx
DeleteYes! I love the way you've spoken about this. I'm exactly the same, in fact as you rightly pointed out, who isn't. It's human nature to feel loved, to want and need to. We crave human contact, praise and validation. I think you've shone a really innocent, worthy light on the subject - the good attention, the one we want and should have.
ReplyDeletexxx
Thank you so much Kat - I love this comment <3 xxx
DeleteI really like the level of self awareness in this post, but you're right- we all want approval and love! I don't like too much attention being put on me because I feel uncomfortable with it, but we all like praise and to be feel loved x
ReplyDeleteIt's true! It's nice every now and again, even if you don't like too much attention, a little is appreciated! xxx
DeleteLoved reading this Holly! It's made me realise that it's ok to crave attention, I still find it so hard to accept a compliment yet deeper down I relate to everything you've said. Self love and appreciation is one of the most important things <3
ReplyDeleteIt's so important! I never accept compliments either, so I totally understand what you mean! xxx
DeleteAs humans we crave and need attention and acceptance. It's completely natural and okay :)
ReplyDeleteI love your writing skills. The photos look awesome!
http://www.desiringsme.com/styling-summer-basics/
Thank you so much! xxx
DeleteI have recently discovered your blog and have been obsessed! You have such a way with words. I related to this post so much. I always thought it was silly to need attention because I shouldn't have to rely on others to feel good about myself, but I think you're right. We do need attention and it can be very helpful to our self esteem and confidence. I never looked at it that way before, so thank you. Much love xx.
ReplyDelete