I'm a creature of habit - that's a known fact. I like my routines, I like to be early and punctual and I like to buy the same coffee from the same coffee shop every day, but I've always been a little more chaotic when it comes to my wardrobe.

I think it comes from being a Blogger.

It's a case of working with brands, trying out their new season lines and then forgetting about the rest of the pieces I already own. I'm terrible for doing that - I have soooo many pieces that I occasionally find and go 'Oh, I forgot I had this'.

Recently, as I do most months, I had a wardrobe clear out. It came along side my idea of giving my blog and myself a little 're-brand'. I realised how many great pieces I had, yet never think to style together or wear again. I'm a serial 'Oooo, I'll get something new off of ASOS' kind of gal... it's not good.

However, the 're-brand' triggered a 're-think' and I realised I don't want to just be wearing a top or dress or whatever once and then never wear it again - what's the point?! I want to create a wardrobe where everything is coherent, everything is 'me' and everything can be worn over and over again.







I have to say, when it comes to shoes, I'm already pretty good at this. I have my black boots and my white trainers and I'm good to for every day wear. I don't need anything else other than that. Plus, I've collected so many heels/boots throughout my 4 years of blogging that, right now, there's really no need for me to purchase anymore for styling purposes.

I'm already half way there.

So, yes, this year I want to try and reduce the amount of purchasing I'm doing. I don't want to waste clothes anymore - I need to stop choosing pieces which I know will be my 'fast fashion' choices, and remember to chose timeless pieces for me. If I'm going to purchase something, I want to be able to wear it over and over again, not just once or twice. There's no point in that.







Here, with this outfit, I've thrown in a bunch of old pieces, with a new red skirt.

This red skirt is something I was missing from my collection - something worth buying for myself. You guys know I'm a sucker for the colour red, right?! I have a denim red skirt, which I love for the summer time, but I wanted something that was much more classic and elegant to style day-to-day.

With it, I decided to grab for an old Zara turtle neck, my trusty Pull & Bear belt and my absolute favourite red heels (which you will have seen a million times in outfit posts)!

It was so nice to realise how easy to style some of my old pieces was, and how there was no need to purchase an entirely new look just for the sake of it.

I think this is something we can definitely all try to do, because it's so easy to forget what we already own, just head straight to online shopping and start crying when our DPD driver doesn't turn up. There's no doubt, if you put some creativity into it, that you can pull together some really nice outfits with what you already own.

So yeah, be prepared to see the same ol' pieces on this blog from now on and let me know if this is something you're going to try too!


Thinking About Sustainable Fashion & How I Can Recycle My Wardrobe


I'm a creature of habit - that's a known fact. I like my routines, I like to be early and punctual and I like to buy the same coffee from the same coffee shop every day, but I've always been a little more chaotic when it comes to my wardrobe.

I think it comes from being a Blogger.

It's a case of working with brands, trying out their new season lines and then forgetting about the rest of the pieces I already own. I'm terrible for doing that - I have soooo many pieces that I occasionally find and go 'Oh, I forgot I had this'.

Recently, as I do most months, I had a wardrobe clear out. It came along side my idea of giving my blog and myself a little 're-brand'. I realised how many great pieces I had, yet never think to style together or wear again. I'm a serial 'Oooo, I'll get something new off of ASOS' kind of gal... it's not good.

However, the 're-brand' triggered a 're-think' and I realised I don't want to just be wearing a top or dress or whatever once and then never wear it again - what's the point?! I want to create a wardrobe where everything is coherent, everything is 'me' and everything can be worn over and over again.







I have to say, when it comes to shoes, I'm already pretty good at this. I have my black boots and my white trainers and I'm good to for every day wear. I don't need anything else other than that. Plus, I've collected so many heels/boots throughout my 4 years of blogging that, right now, there's really no need for me to purchase anymore for styling purposes.

I'm already half way there.

So, yes, this year I want to try and reduce the amount of purchasing I'm doing. I don't want to waste clothes anymore - I need to stop choosing pieces which I know will be my 'fast fashion' choices, and remember to chose timeless pieces for me. If I'm going to purchase something, I want to be able to wear it over and over again, not just once or twice. There's no point in that.







Here, with this outfit, I've thrown in a bunch of old pieces, with a new red skirt.

This red skirt is something I was missing from my collection - something worth buying for myself. You guys know I'm a sucker for the colour red, right?! I have a denim red skirt, which I love for the summer time, but I wanted something that was much more classic and elegant to style day-to-day.

With it, I decided to grab for an old Zara turtle neck, my trusty Pull & Bear belt and my absolute favourite red heels (which you will have seen a million times in outfit posts)!

It was so nice to realise how easy to style some of my old pieces was, and how there was no need to purchase an entirely new look just for the sake of it.

I think this is something we can definitely all try to do, because it's so easy to forget what we already own, just head straight to online shopping and start crying when our DPD driver doesn't turn up. There's no doubt, if you put some creativity into it, that you can pull together some really nice outfits with what you already own.

So yeah, be prepared to see the same ol' pieces on this blog from now on and let me know if this is something you're going to try too!



I'm guilty of being the kind of girl who has always sought out the idea that being with a man would complete me. I believed my life revolved around the idea that my life would be 'fixed' as soon as some guy and I fell in love and ran off into the sunset. I thought that nothing would make me happier than being desired by someone else.

At 19, I quickly learned that that wasn't going to be the case. I was treated badly, hurt by the idea that someone was supposed to be the 'love of my life', yet used me in more ways than one, and saw the toxic side of a relationship that I had never experienced before. I began to realise the only person in control of my happiness was myself, not the guy that had decided they wanted to get in my knickers.

Sure, guys are great (most of them, anyway). They're wonderful for kisses and cuddles and, of course, sex (and yes, much more, but you see my point) but you can't rest all your hopes and dreams of happiness on the idea that that's what will give you a fulfilled life.

Last summer was when my eyes were first opened to this, you see. I had a sudden realization, an epiphany of sorts, and began to understand that I, Holly Rebecca White, was the only one in control of my own future.




TOP - PRIMARK

It was a summer where I was surrounded by women, and amazingly powerful women at that. I had my Mum, who has always been my rock regardless, but who supported me through what felt like the most catastrophic break up ever (it really wasn't lol), and also had a great new bunch of friends around me who slapped some sense back into me with the power of a gin and tonic and a good talking to.

I got to experience being around women who took no shit. And, well, I was so used to taking people's shit, that I was just not at all used to it. I was used to being walked all over and saying 'yes' to just about anything. But with these girls, it was eye opening - I was taught to take control of my life again, and remember that it was mine and no one else's to fuck about with. And, it's funny because I don't think anyone even realised they were doing that for me. I don't think the girls that I was with had any idea that I was absorbing this kind of 'powerful, got my shit together, doing it for myself' attitude from them... but I was.




BOOTS - PUBLIC DESIRE

"breathe for you and not for them."

From then on, I think my perspective on things changed. I remember telling myself I no longer even wanted a man anymore. I no longer sought after the idea of 'love' or the idea of 'relationships' because for me, that had been ruined. I decided that all I needed was me and good group of people around me.

So, I worked hard to keep busy over summer. I did shoot after shoot, went on copious amounts of giggly nights out, and took any chance I got to keep my mind away from lusting after romance.

I had built myself back up again. I channeled the energy of an independent person, and it was a real breath of fresh air compared to the way I had been feeling before hand.

I mean, for months, neigh, for years all I had ever wanted was a boy to like me. All I ever thought about was the idea of me - older, sexier and thinner - topped off with some amazing guy that would be 'my world'.

It was ludicrous.

I never thought about my career or where I would like to live, all I thought of was that need to be desired by the opposite sex.

M A D N E S S.




SHORTS - GHOSPELL

That summer taught me a lot about myself, and simply just about life too.

I see women every day - from my favourite bloggers like Chloe Plumstead and Alice Catherine, to a sassy business woman I've ended up sat next to on my train journey home - and I am so inspired. Women are incredible. There are girls out there just absolutely killing it and there's no need for the mention of a rom-com style romance with a hunky guy to further them, they're just doing it themselves and I love it.

How did I not realise that I am just as capable as these girls too? Why did I put all of my ambition into the arms of some figurative man in my mind?

I know now though: it's okay to be on your own, it's okay to focus on YOU and it's stupid to throw all your hopes of being happy onto the idea of a man... I can't thank the women around me enough for showing me that.




BLAZER - HUGO BOSS (VINTAGE)

"don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm."

I became happy and content over that summer. I knew I could take on life by myself, I had my goals in sight (and properly this time) and wasn't going to let anyone with a dick stand in the way of it.

BUT, that's ironically when I fell in love. I met the love of my life at this point - the point where I was fine with being alone.

Now, sure, this may seem like I'm about to contradict my whole blog post, but I'm not.

You see, this time around, I didn't feel the need to change myself. I was so self-assured. I wasn't embarrassed to speak about my blogging career, or explain why I write about eating disorders and depression. I wasn't worrying over the outfit I was going to wear or whether I looked 'hot' from a guy's perspective. I was just me, and I was fine with it - if the other person wasn't, then life would go on. The romance wasn't a necessity for me to be 'complete' anymore. Everything the girls in my life had said to me over summer had sunk in. It was like some mantra I'd been learning for 3 months that I now swore by.

The lucky thing was, I think that's what he liked about me (I feel weird writing about Josh as 'he'... Hi Josh!!). It was the first time I'd ever felt like someone found my career-driven, depressive writing and cutesy dress-sense, attractive. It's the first time I'd felt completely myself and that a guy completely liked it.

I think in a sense of 'love' and 'romance' that was what I actually needed to be looking for. Maybe that's the 'complete' I should have been craving - someone who I could be with, already content with everything, without trying to force myself to be what they wanted me to be and slot into their lives whilst suppressing my own.

I'd found the perfect balance between being a more confident, self-sufficient girl, yet also finding a guy who wanted to encourage me to be more so.

"I do not crave anyone who will fix me, just someone who will hold my hand while I fix myself."





PHOTOGRAPHY BY SOPHIA J CAREY

Anyway, back to my main point.

My life would not have turned out the way it has if it weren't for the wonderful women in this world. The women who taught me to push myself and stop hiding behind someone else.

I wouldn't have grown up, asserted myself further in my career, tried new things, and I certainly wouldn't have met Josh at the right time.

So stop thinking that a guy's love for you is what's going to fix everything, it's most likely not going to. Fix it yourself first, you QUEEN, then find a guy to accompany you along the way.

There's no one who can push yourself in the right direction, more than you.

To All The Women Who Inspired Me To Claim Myself, Here's Looking At You


I'm guilty of being the kind of girl who has always sought out the idea that being with a man would complete me. I believed my life revolved around the idea that my life would be 'fixed' as soon as some guy and I fell in love and ran off into the sunset. I thought that nothing would make me happier than being desired by someone else.

At 19, I quickly learned that that wasn't going to be the case. I was treated badly, hurt by the idea that someone was supposed to be the 'love of my life', yet used me in more ways than one, and saw the toxic side of a relationship that I had never experienced before. I began to realise the only person in control of my happiness was myself, not the guy that had decided they wanted to get in my knickers.

Sure, guys are great (most of them, anyway). They're wonderful for kisses and cuddles and, of course, sex (and yes, much more, but you see my point) but you can't rest all your hopes and dreams of happiness on the idea that that's what will give you a fulfilled life.

Last summer was when my eyes were first opened to this, you see. I had a sudden realization, an epiphany of sorts, and began to understand that I, Holly Rebecca White, was the only one in control of my own future.




TOP - PRIMARK

It was a summer where I was surrounded by women, and amazingly powerful women at that. I had my Mum, who has always been my rock regardless, but who supported me through what felt like the most catastrophic break up ever (it really wasn't lol), and also had a great new bunch of friends around me who slapped some sense back into me with the power of a gin and tonic and a good talking to.

I got to experience being around women who took no shit. And, well, I was so used to taking people's shit, that I was just not at all used to it. I was used to being walked all over and saying 'yes' to just about anything. But with these girls, it was eye opening - I was taught to take control of my life again, and remember that it was mine and no one else's to fuck about with. And, it's funny because I don't think anyone even realised they were doing that for me. I don't think the girls that I was with had any idea that I was absorbing this kind of 'powerful, got my shit together, doing it for myself' attitude from them... but I was.




BOOTS - PUBLIC DESIRE

"breathe for you and not for them."

From then on, I think my perspective on things changed. I remember telling myself I no longer even wanted a man anymore. I no longer sought after the idea of 'love' or the idea of 'relationships' because for me, that had been ruined. I decided that all I needed was me and good group of people around me.

So, I worked hard to keep busy over summer. I did shoot after shoot, went on copious amounts of giggly nights out, and took any chance I got to keep my mind away from lusting after romance.

I had built myself back up again. I channeled the energy of an independent person, and it was a real breath of fresh air compared to the way I had been feeling before hand.

I mean, for months, neigh, for years all I had ever wanted was a boy to like me. All I ever thought about was the idea of me - older, sexier and thinner - topped off with some amazing guy that would be 'my world'.

It was ludicrous.

I never thought about my career or where I would like to live, all I thought of was that need to be desired by the opposite sex.

M A D N E S S.




SHORTS - GHOSPELL

That summer taught me a lot about myself, and simply just about life too.

I see women every day - from my favourite bloggers like Chloe Plumstead and Alice Catherine, to a sassy business woman I've ended up sat next to on my train journey home - and I am so inspired. Women are incredible. There are girls out there just absolutely killing it and there's no need for the mention of a rom-com style romance with a hunky guy to further them, they're just doing it themselves and I love it.

How did I not realise that I am just as capable as these girls too? Why did I put all of my ambition into the arms of some figurative man in my mind?

I know now though: it's okay to be on your own, it's okay to focus on YOU and it's stupid to throw all your hopes of being happy onto the idea of a man... I can't thank the women around me enough for showing me that.




BLAZER - HUGO BOSS (VINTAGE)

"don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm."

I became happy and content over that summer. I knew I could take on life by myself, I had my goals in sight (and properly this time) and wasn't going to let anyone with a dick stand in the way of it.

BUT, that's ironically when I fell in love. I met the love of my life at this point - the point where I was fine with being alone.

Now, sure, this may seem like I'm about to contradict my whole blog post, but I'm not.

You see, this time around, I didn't feel the need to change myself. I was so self-assured. I wasn't embarrassed to speak about my blogging career, or explain why I write about eating disorders and depression. I wasn't worrying over the outfit I was going to wear or whether I looked 'hot' from a guy's perspective. I was just me, and I was fine with it - if the other person wasn't, then life would go on. The romance wasn't a necessity for me to be 'complete' anymore. Everything the girls in my life had said to me over summer had sunk in. It was like some mantra I'd been learning for 3 months that I now swore by.

The lucky thing was, I think that's what he liked about me (I feel weird writing about Josh as 'he'... Hi Josh!!). It was the first time I'd ever felt like someone found my career-driven, depressive writing and cutesy dress-sense, attractive. It's the first time I'd felt completely myself and that a guy completely liked it.

I think in a sense of 'love' and 'romance' that was what I actually needed to be looking for. Maybe that's the 'complete' I should have been craving - someone who I could be with, already content with everything, without trying to force myself to be what they wanted me to be and slot into their lives whilst suppressing my own.

I'd found the perfect balance between being a more confident, self-sufficient girl, yet also finding a guy who wanted to encourage me to be more so.

"I do not crave anyone who will fix me, just someone who will hold my hand while I fix myself."





PHOTOGRAPHY BY SOPHIA J CAREY

Anyway, back to my main point.

My life would not have turned out the way it has if it weren't for the wonderful women in this world. The women who taught me to push myself and stop hiding behind someone else.

I wouldn't have grown up, asserted myself further in my career, tried new things, and I certainly wouldn't have met Josh at the right time.

So stop thinking that a guy's love for you is what's going to fix everything, it's most likely not going to. Fix it yourself first, you QUEEN, then find a guy to accompany you along the way.

There's no one who can push yourself in the right direction, more than you.

In the past year I tried to strip my blog back to basics. I tried to find my passion for this whole blogging malarkey again, and, I will say, I did kind of succeed, but not enough to completely wipe away my self-doubt.

Something I wrote in my notes, on my phone, recently was:

"I don't know what I want to create anymore. I've felt lost for a while now in terms of the content I'm making, and nothing seems to be working. 

I've been through waves of creating all kinds of different content throughout the years, and every time I think I've found 'my style', it all starts to feel alien again.

No matter what creative route I've taken, nothing has felt like 'home', or at least a good enough home to *compete* with the amazing content that is out there nowadays."


After writing that, I took a little step back. I considered if I really enjoyed the content I was making, did it give me a buzz like it should? I thought about what imagery I like seeing from other people, what I like to read about and realised that maybe I'm approaching this whole thing all wrong for the blogging-crazed-world we're in nowadays.

Sure, it felt nice to strip everything back to basics, shooting in my bedroom for a while, but I would feel SO inspired and *envious* when I'd see my favourite bloggers posting amazing street style shots and editorial content. "I WANT TO BE LIKE THAT" I'd think. And, well, I'm realising, there's nothing stopping me from doing that, other than myself.


Okay, yes, maybe I don't live super close to the city, or in a place with beautiful backdrops accessible as soon as I walk out my door, but I do have to motivation to make plans with photographers, come up with cool outfits and work my arse off to truly be in love with the content I'm making for you guys.

Plus, I've felt so confused about my own style lately, that this whole 'taking a step back' process has made me realise the kind of style I am most drawn to and how much fun I used to have by putting more planning into my looks.

So, everything is having a bit of a 'refresh', and if you're a friend of mine, expect to be roped into taking photos for me very soon (lol). I'm hoping to make 2019 an amazing year, with a whole new perspective on content... let's give it a go!

A New Perspective For 2019


In the past year I tried to strip my blog back to basics. I tried to find my passion for this whole blogging malarkey again, and, I will say, I did kind of succeed, but not enough to completely wipe away my self-doubt.

Something I wrote in my notes, on my phone, recently was:

"I don't know what I want to create anymore. I've felt lost for a while now in terms of the content I'm making, and nothing seems to be working. 

I've been through waves of creating all kinds of different content throughout the years, and every time I think I've found 'my style', it all starts to feel alien again.

No matter what creative route I've taken, nothing has felt like 'home', or at least a good enough home to *compete* with the amazing content that is out there nowadays."


After writing that, I took a little step back. I considered if I really enjoyed the content I was making, did it give me a buzz like it should? I thought about what imagery I like seeing from other people, what I like to read about and realised that maybe I'm approaching this whole thing all wrong for the blogging-crazed-world we're in nowadays.

Sure, it felt nice to strip everything back to basics, shooting in my bedroom for a while, but I would feel SO inspired and *envious* when I'd see my favourite bloggers posting amazing street style shots and editorial content. "I WANT TO BE LIKE THAT" I'd think. And, well, I'm realising, there's nothing stopping me from doing that, other than myself.


Okay, yes, maybe I don't live super close to the city, or in a place with beautiful backdrops accessible as soon as I walk out my door, but I do have to motivation to make plans with photographers, come up with cool outfits and work my arse off to truly be in love with the content I'm making for you guys.

Plus, I've felt so confused about my own style lately, that this whole 'taking a step back' process has made me realise the kind of style I am most drawn to and how much fun I used to have by putting more planning into my looks.

So, everything is having a bit of a 'refresh', and if you're a friend of mine, expect to be roped into taking photos for me very soon (lol). I'm hoping to make 2019 an amazing year, with a whole new perspective on content... let's give it a go!

For reasons sunk deep
I know I may never love myself
I know my head will always be in turmoil

I no longer understand whether this is because of how I feel other's perceive me or because of how I perceive myself

I believe it may be both

Though no matter what I believe
I am left to feel it in suffocating desolation.
I feel like my head is clouded by this one specific notion:

I will never be good enough. 

Suffocating Desolation


For reasons sunk deep
I know I may never love myself
I know my head will always be in turmoil

I no longer understand whether this is because of how I feel other's perceive me or because of how I perceive myself

I believe it may be both

Though no matter what I believe
I am left to feel it in suffocating desolation.
I feel like my head is clouded by this one specific notion:

I will never be good enough. 

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