I tend to self-sabotage myself. I often go back and to in my head, arguing with myself over things. One of the things that I argue with myself the most about is 'going out'. I seem to have a hard time letting myself have fun sometimes, I guess. I'll sit and over think every possible situation and outcome. I tell myself that if I go out then i'll probably end up wanting to come home, but then I tell myself that if I don't go then I'll be left out and feel completely out of the loop and like a party pooper. I can't really win. 

I used to constantly say 'no' to things. I was saying 'no' out of fear and anxiety and not necessarily because I didn't want to go. Nowadays, I try and do as many things as I can. I push myself to go out, I tell myself 'what've you got to lose?' and most of the time, I never regret taking the plunge and going out. 

I think it's important to fight through your fears and anxieties, especially if they stop you from doing something fun and something that you might enjoy. Yes, things could go wrong. Yes, I could get there and have crippling anxiety and a panic attack. BUT, I could also go and have the time of my life and laugh a hell of a lot. You just have to tell yourself that it's worth the risk. 

With it being the time of year where invites to Christmas parties, events and New Year celebrations are floating around everywhere, I just want to encourage people to not be scared to let themselves have a good time. This time of year, we should all be feeling words like 'merry' or 'jolly' and not ones like 'scared' and 'lonely'. Go out, push yourself and have fun! It might seem terrifying (I get it, I've been there and sometimes I still have to push myself too), but you never know until you really try!




Anyway, despite anxiety sometimes rearing it's ugly head, I've always loved a good party, a fun celebration, those festive times of year. I've always loved the love, the laughter and the fun that can fill a room. I've always loved the outfits, the getting dressed up and the glitz - there's nothing better than it sometimes, especially at this time of year. 

Party season is in full swing, and I don't know about you, but I'm totally ready for it. I love getting dressed up and finding that perfect party outfit. I'm the kind of girl that likes to get dressed up on Christmas Day and that loves to whip on a pair of high heels and feel glam.
Often, I find myself trawling through website after website to find that perfect dress or pair of trousers that are exactly like the ones I envisioned from nowhere in my imagination. This year, I've had a little bit of help. Dorothy Perkins (a brand which makes me have all the bloggy feels and nostalgia) kindly contacted me and asked me to be a part of their fabulous Dress To Party Christmas Campaign. Of course, I said yes and I got to choose my own Christmas party outfit to style for myself.




I chose to style this amazing Black Velvet Blazer and Trousers, as well as this gorgeous Faux Fur Coat and Rose Gold Oval CZ Ring.
I've always loved co-ord suits as party-wear but never taken the plunge to wear one myself. I knew I just had to take the plunge this time. Velvet is something that is SOOOO 'in' this Autumn/Winter and that is just something that makes this co-ord even more exciting for me too!

I thought it'd be super fun to combine the two different textures of the faux fur and the velvet, and also decided to throw in some metallic vibes with my jazzy new shoes too! I thought the suit looked super sassy with just a simply lacy black bra underneath and the addition of my fabulous Moschino clutch worked perfectly. This is honestly one of my favourite looks ever I think!

If you want to recreate this look yourself, here you goooo :

Push Yourself To The Party with Dorothy Perkins! ✨




I tend to self-sabotage myself. I often go back and to in my head, arguing with myself over things. One of the things that I argue with myself the most about is 'going out'. I seem to have a hard time letting myself have fun sometimes, I guess. I'll sit and over think every possible situation and outcome. I tell myself that if I go out then i'll probably end up wanting to come home, but then I tell myself that if I don't go then I'll be left out and feel completely out of the loop and like a party pooper. I can't really win. 

I used to constantly say 'no' to things. I was saying 'no' out of fear and anxiety and not necessarily because I didn't want to go. Nowadays, I try and do as many things as I can. I push myself to go out, I tell myself 'what've you got to lose?' and most of the time, I never regret taking the plunge and going out. 

I think it's important to fight through your fears and anxieties, especially if they stop you from doing something fun and something that you might enjoy. Yes, things could go wrong. Yes, I could get there and have crippling anxiety and a panic attack. BUT, I could also go and have the time of my life and laugh a hell of a lot. You just have to tell yourself that it's worth the risk. 

With it being the time of year where invites to Christmas parties, events and New Year celebrations are floating around everywhere, I just want to encourage people to not be scared to let themselves have a good time. This time of year, we should all be feeling words like 'merry' or 'jolly' and not ones like 'scared' and 'lonely'. Go out, push yourself and have fun! It might seem terrifying (I get it, I've been there and sometimes I still have to push myself too), but you never know until you really try!




Anyway, despite anxiety sometimes rearing it's ugly head, I've always loved a good party, a fun celebration, those festive times of year. I've always loved the love, the laughter and the fun that can fill a room. I've always loved the outfits, the getting dressed up and the glitz - there's nothing better than it sometimes, especially at this time of year. 

Party season is in full swing, and I don't know about you, but I'm totally ready for it. I love getting dressed up and finding that perfect party outfit. I'm the kind of girl that likes to get dressed up on Christmas Day and that loves to whip on a pair of high heels and feel glam.
Often, I find myself trawling through website after website to find that perfect dress or pair of trousers that are exactly like the ones I envisioned from nowhere in my imagination. This year, I've had a little bit of help. Dorothy Perkins (a brand which makes me have all the bloggy feels and nostalgia) kindly contacted me and asked me to be a part of their fabulous Dress To Party Christmas Campaign. Of course, I said yes and I got to choose my own Christmas party outfit to style for myself.




I chose to style this amazing Black Velvet Blazer and Trousers, as well as this gorgeous Faux Fur Coat and Rose Gold Oval CZ Ring.
I've always loved co-ord suits as party-wear but never taken the plunge to wear one myself. I knew I just had to take the plunge this time. Velvet is something that is SOOOO 'in' this Autumn/Winter and that is just something that makes this co-ord even more exciting for me too!

I thought it'd be super fun to combine the two different textures of the faux fur and the velvet, and also decided to throw in some metallic vibes with my jazzy new shoes too! I thought the suit looked super sassy with just a simply lacy black bra underneath and the addition of my fabulous Moschino clutch worked perfectly. This is honestly one of my favourite looks ever I think!

If you want to recreate this look yourself, here you goooo :




I was talking with someone the other day and I realized that I can't pin point an exact moment in my life that I developed a sense of style. Yes, I've always loved fashion and expressing myself through clothes, but considering that fashion is such a huge part of what I do, it's weird to try and remember an exact point where I put together my first hella sassy outfit. 

The thing is, fashion is important, people just don't realise it. Fashion allows you to show people what kind of person you are, what kind of things that you love and, even things such as, what kind of job you do. Fashion allows you to express your mood, experiment and, to be honest, it just allows you a hell of a lot of freedom. I love the freedom of Fashion. 

For me, clothes are a way of expression and an art form. Putting an outfit together is like creating a piece of artwork. For example, you might be into cubism, you might love geometric shapes and colour block prints or you might like monochromatic photography, you might love black turtle necks and berets paired with a bold red lip. Fashion allows you to be just as expressive as you would be if you were painting, like, the next 'Dogs Playing Poker' or something.

I didn't often move out of my comfort zone with fashion when I was younger. I think, to be honest, I just wanted to wear what was considered 'cool' at the time or I just followed what one of my friends was wearing. I didn't see what Fashion could offer me, I didn't see how much I was holding back creatively. 




Fashion is, honestly, everything to me nowadays. It's a part of everything I do, every single day. Without fashion I wouldn't have been able to take this weird and wonderful career path I'm on or have learnt how to express myself and just be me.

You see, I like wearing outfits that can draw a bit of attention. Yes, they might be very simple and not splattered with pattern, but if I can wear something that can make you glance twice, I'll do it. Sometimes, that could simply be a pair of leather trousers or some unusual shoes, but they are things that make my outfits just a little bit more outside of the 'norm'. And, I like to be outside of the 'norm'. I like people to look at me and think 'Oooo that's interesting' or 'Where did she get that?'. I want people to ask questions. 

I think that's exactly what fashion should do. It should make you ask questions. It should make you question a mood, or time period, or simply just make you wonder if it's Topshop or Armani. Fashion should keep you on your toes and get your creative juices flowing (lol I hate the words 'creative juice' but I couldn't think of what else to say hahaha). 




Sometimes I think people forget how amazing fashion can be. We put clothes on everyday but we forget about the entire process that goes behind choosing your outfit - especially if your job and lifestyle don't revolve around fashion. However, the clothes you pick depend on the mood you're feeling, the place you're going, the job you're doing, the weather, absoloutley everything and I think that just shows how much fashion can show the world. 

I can often leave the house with no make up on and a over sized jumper and that's usually just because I'm nipping round the corner for a pint of milk. I feel like my outfit tells people that my thought process was 'Well, I'm only leaving the house for five minutes, I don't need to get dressed really' hahaha. Just the same as when I'm leaving my house, ready to head to London, dressed head to toe in black for model castings, people know I'm ready for business. An outfit can tell people A LOT.

I think that's the true meaning of fashion. It's to express. It's to show. It's to open minds. It's something that everyone has a part in. 



With this outfit, I wanted to highlight my love for a red lip and a monochromatic look. I wanted to show you that I'm a little bit artsy fartsy and like to wear berets. I wanted to show you that I love fashion and piecing an outfit together like this, is just something that I love doing so so much!

Now, if you couldn't already guess from the title, this blog post is actually in collaboration with the fabulous brand American Eagle, who kindly contacted me and asked me to choose a few pieces from them. I was sooo head over heels in love with this Grey Long Wool Topper Coat when I saw it and I knew it would pair perfectly with this Plaid Babydoll Shirt Dress. They are both so super comfy and cosy for this time of year - I don't know, they just have a super Christmassy vibe about them! haha.

I decided to style these gorgeous pieces along with my Public Desire heels, my ASOS beret and a bold red lip. Alternatively, you could make this look super winter-ready by grabbing some wool tights and black Chelsea boots, to keep you extra warm.

If you want to recreate this look yourself, you can shop the look here:


The Meaning Of Fashion ft. American Eagle




I was talking with someone the other day and I realized that I can't pin point an exact moment in my life that I developed a sense of style. Yes, I've always loved fashion and expressing myself through clothes, but considering that fashion is such a huge part of what I do, it's weird to try and remember an exact point where I put together my first hella sassy outfit. 

The thing is, fashion is important, people just don't realise it. Fashion allows you to show people what kind of person you are, what kind of things that you love and, even things such as, what kind of job you do. Fashion allows you to express your mood, experiment and, to be honest, it just allows you a hell of a lot of freedom. I love the freedom of Fashion. 

For me, clothes are a way of expression and an art form. Putting an outfit together is like creating a piece of artwork. For example, you might be into cubism, you might love geometric shapes and colour block prints or you might like monochromatic photography, you might love black turtle necks and berets paired with a bold red lip. Fashion allows you to be just as expressive as you would be if you were painting, like, the next 'Dogs Playing Poker' or something.

I didn't often move out of my comfort zone with fashion when I was younger. I think, to be honest, I just wanted to wear what was considered 'cool' at the time or I just followed what one of my friends was wearing. I didn't see what Fashion could offer me, I didn't see how much I was holding back creatively. 




Fashion is, honestly, everything to me nowadays. It's a part of everything I do, every single day. Without fashion I wouldn't have been able to take this weird and wonderful career path I'm on or have learnt how to express myself and just be me.

You see, I like wearing outfits that can draw a bit of attention. Yes, they might be very simple and not splattered with pattern, but if I can wear something that can make you glance twice, I'll do it. Sometimes, that could simply be a pair of leather trousers or some unusual shoes, but they are things that make my outfits just a little bit more outside of the 'norm'. And, I like to be outside of the 'norm'. I like people to look at me and think 'Oooo that's interesting' or 'Where did she get that?'. I want people to ask questions. 

I think that's exactly what fashion should do. It should make you ask questions. It should make you question a mood, or time period, or simply just make you wonder if it's Topshop or Armani. Fashion should keep you on your toes and get your creative juices flowing (lol I hate the words 'creative juice' but I couldn't think of what else to say hahaha). 




Sometimes I think people forget how amazing fashion can be. We put clothes on everyday but we forget about the entire process that goes behind choosing your outfit - especially if your job and lifestyle don't revolve around fashion. However, the clothes you pick depend on the mood you're feeling, the place you're going, the job you're doing, the weather, absoloutley everything and I think that just shows how much fashion can show the world. 

I can often leave the house with no make up on and a over sized jumper and that's usually just because I'm nipping round the corner for a pint of milk. I feel like my outfit tells people that my thought process was 'Well, I'm only leaving the house for five minutes, I don't need to get dressed really' hahaha. Just the same as when I'm leaving my house, ready to head to London, dressed head to toe in black for model castings, people know I'm ready for business. An outfit can tell people A LOT.

I think that's the true meaning of fashion. It's to express. It's to show. It's to open minds. It's something that everyone has a part in. 



With this outfit, I wanted to highlight my love for a red lip and a monochromatic look. I wanted to show you that I'm a little bit artsy fartsy and like to wear berets. I wanted to show you that I love fashion and piecing an outfit together like this, is just something that I love doing so so much!

Now, if you couldn't already guess from the title, this blog post is actually in collaboration with the fabulous brand American Eagle, who kindly contacted me and asked me to choose a few pieces from them. I was sooo head over heels in love with this Grey Long Wool Topper Coat when I saw it and I knew it would pair perfectly with this Plaid Babydoll Shirt Dress. They are both so super comfy and cosy for this time of year - I don't know, they just have a super Christmassy vibe about them! haha.

I decided to style these gorgeous pieces along with my Public Desire heels, my ASOS beret and a bold red lip. Alternatively, you could make this look super winter-ready by grabbing some wool tights and black Chelsea boots, to keep you extra warm.

If you want to recreate this look yourself, you can shop the look here:





Let's face it, I'm a total weirdo. I laugh at weird things, I tell weird jokes and my life is just a little bit weird too. I like it. I like being weird. Weird is better than boring, right? I think people tend to see that I'm a 'model' and 'fashion blogger' and presume I'm some personality-less clothes rack that can't tell a joke or understand how to do fractions, when really, I'm full of jokes and not too bad at maths either. 

It's odd how people can judge you simply based on a profession or a photo. People see a photo of you in a glitzy dress and instantly presume that's all that you can talk about. Yes, I do love fashion, Yes, I do love putting on glitzy dresses and posing for a photo, but I also love discussing politics, mental health and weird things like where you keep the ketchup... fridge or cupboard? (it's definitely cupboard guys..)




Sometimes it's nice to take some silly photos and laugh at myself. Sometimes I love to just say weird things and make crappy Dad jokes, because that's who I am. I'm not just a person in a photo wearing a piece of clothing, I'm a person who's full of life and ready to whip out a knock knock joke at any given opportunity. 

I think it's nice for people to learn about the person behind the writing and behind the photo. Yes, I might be showing you this very stylish, comfy and casual outfit featuring Rocket Dog and Novem & Knight (more deets coming soon don't you worry...) but, I also want you to be able to get something else from me, other than outfit details. I want you to laugh at something I've written or connect with a point that I've made or make you feel a little less like you're the only one going through something or that does something a little bit out of the 'norm'. We're all total weirdos. We all have our own little quirks or things that we do, and we all have been through stuff, stuff that I really love to discuss here on my blog.

So, yeah, I might be very good at being a 'clothes rack' and posing for a photo, but I'd also like to let you know that there's a lot lot more to me too. 





Anyway, enough rambling for one blog post, let me tell you a little bit more about this outfit. 

Recently, I did a shoot for the amazing Jason Davis and Sammi's brand, Novem & Knight (they have some amazing new pieces by the way, you definitely need to go and have a look) and they kindly gave me two pieces to take home with me (how bloody lovely!!). One of the pieces they let me keep was this super comfy Mortimer 'boyfriend style' Jumper. I adore the over-sized fit and it slotted perfectly into my minimalist wardrobe. It's perfect for when I'm looking to create a more casual outfit or for getting cosy in (because its absolutely bloody freezing at the moment!!) this winter season. However, I love that it's still a piece that you could easily dress up with a leather skirt, fishnet tights and some heeled boots... that'd be one bad ass outfit!




I decided to go super casual (for me anyway) with this look and style the jumper along with my Mom Jeans from Boohoo and these fab White Canvas Sneakers from Rocket Dog

Rocket Dog kindly gifted these to me and I've been obsessed with them ever since. I've wanted some white trainers for so long and I'm so happy that I finally have this pair to style up! I, of course, had to finish the look with a choker necklace and a red lip because they've been my absolute go-to recently. 

Want to recreate this look yourself? Shop it here:


Comfy, Casual and Kind of a Weirdo? ft. Rocket Dog and Novem & Knight




Let's face it, I'm a total weirdo. I laugh at weird things, I tell weird jokes and my life is just a little bit weird too. I like it. I like being weird. Weird is better than boring, right? I think people tend to see that I'm a 'model' and 'fashion blogger' and presume I'm some personality-less clothes rack that can't tell a joke or understand how to do fractions, when really, I'm full of jokes and not too bad at maths either. 

It's odd how people can judge you simply based on a profession or a photo. People see a photo of you in a glitzy dress and instantly presume that's all that you can talk about. Yes, I do love fashion, Yes, I do love putting on glitzy dresses and posing for a photo, but I also love discussing politics, mental health and weird things like where you keep the ketchup... fridge or cupboard? (it's definitely cupboard guys..)




Sometimes it's nice to take some silly photos and laugh at myself. Sometimes I love to just say weird things and make crappy Dad jokes, because that's who I am. I'm not just a person in a photo wearing a piece of clothing, I'm a person who's full of life and ready to whip out a knock knock joke at any given opportunity. 

I think it's nice for people to learn about the person behind the writing and behind the photo. Yes, I might be showing you this very stylish, comfy and casual outfit featuring Rocket Dog and Novem & Knight (more deets coming soon don't you worry...) but, I also want you to be able to get something else from me, other than outfit details. I want you to laugh at something I've written or connect with a point that I've made or make you feel a little less like you're the only one going through something or that does something a little bit out of the 'norm'. We're all total weirdos. We all have our own little quirks or things that we do, and we all have been through stuff, stuff that I really love to discuss here on my blog.

So, yeah, I might be very good at being a 'clothes rack' and posing for a photo, but I'd also like to let you know that there's a lot lot more to me too. 





Anyway, enough rambling for one blog post, let me tell you a little bit more about this outfit. 

Recently, I did a shoot for the amazing Jason Davis and Sammi's brand, Novem & Knight (they have some amazing new pieces by the way, you definitely need to go and have a look) and they kindly gave me two pieces to take home with me (how bloody lovely!!). One of the pieces they let me keep was this super comfy Mortimer 'boyfriend style' Jumper. I adore the over-sized fit and it slotted perfectly into my minimalist wardrobe. It's perfect for when I'm looking to create a more casual outfit or for getting cosy in (because its absolutely bloody freezing at the moment!!) this winter season. However, I love that it's still a piece that you could easily dress up with a leather skirt, fishnet tights and some heeled boots... that'd be one bad ass outfit!




I decided to go super casual (for me anyway) with this look and style the jumper along with my Mom Jeans from Boohoo and these fab White Canvas Sneakers from Rocket Dog

Rocket Dog kindly gifted these to me and I've been obsessed with them ever since. I've wanted some white trainers for so long and I'm so happy that I finally have this pair to style up! I, of course, had to finish the look with a choker necklace and a red lip because they've been my absolute go-to recently. 

Want to recreate this look yourself? Shop it here:




Once again the fabulous people from Lancome have sent over some of their amazing new products for me to try out. This time it's these gorgeous L'Absolu Rouge Lipsticks and I'm so excited about them!

They are a reinvention of their cult lipstick, said to be more precious and more colorful than ever. There are 39 shades to choose from, from perfect nudes to intense reds - there's a shade for everyone. They also come in 3 different finishes which are Sheer, Cream and Matte. The Sheer shades are build-able and have a subtle shiny finish, the Cream shades are pretty much what they say on the tin and are creamy with a satin look and the Matte shades are a comfortable matte finish!



Lancome kindly sent me two shades to try out, the first one being Nuit & Jour, a gorgeous nude shade in the Sheer finish, and the other being Rose Lancome, a deep pink shade in the Cream finish.

Nuit & Jour was the shade I was most excited about. It looks very peachy and creamy in the tube and had the Lancome logo printed beautifully on the side. After applying it, I did feel slightly disappointed as it was waaay too light for my complexion - it washed me out quite a lot and gave me a slight 'foundation lips' kind of look. However, I still think it's a lovely lipstick and would look amazing on someone with more of a 'sun-kissed glow' than I have haha! The product felt comfy on the lips and lasted a pretty long time so I was so super impressed with that.

Rose Lancome is a fun and bright pink shade and that's not something I usually grab for. I never find that this kind of shade suits me but I was willing to try it out anyway! I found it to, again, be incredibly comfortable on the lips and super moisturizing. But, as I'd guessed, it wasn't really the shade for me. I much prefer bright red shades with my complexion and therefore, I don't think that this is a shade that I'd ever really wear myself. However, I'm going to be giving this to my Mum who absolutely loves this kind of colour, so although it wasn't for me, it doesn't mean that you can't all have a different opinion because everything besides the shade was absolutely perfect for me!

Let me know if you've tried these out and what your thoughts are down in the comments!

Shop this post here:


Lancome L'Absolu Rouge Lipsticks



Once again the fabulous people from Lancome have sent over some of their amazing new products for me to try out. This time it's these gorgeous L'Absolu Rouge Lipsticks and I'm so excited about them!

They are a reinvention of their cult lipstick, said to be more precious and more colorful than ever. There are 39 shades to choose from, from perfect nudes to intense reds - there's a shade for everyone. They also come in 3 different finishes which are Sheer, Cream and Matte. The Sheer shades are build-able and have a subtle shiny finish, the Cream shades are pretty much what they say on the tin and are creamy with a satin look and the Matte shades are a comfortable matte finish!



Lancome kindly sent me two shades to try out, the first one being Nuit & Jour, a gorgeous nude shade in the Sheer finish, and the other being Rose Lancome, a deep pink shade in the Cream finish.

Nuit & Jour was the shade I was most excited about. It looks very peachy and creamy in the tube and had the Lancome logo printed beautifully on the side. After applying it, I did feel slightly disappointed as it was waaay too light for my complexion - it washed me out quite a lot and gave me a slight 'foundation lips' kind of look. However, I still think it's a lovely lipstick and would look amazing on someone with more of a 'sun-kissed glow' than I have haha! The product felt comfy on the lips and lasted a pretty long time so I was so super impressed with that.

Rose Lancome is a fun and bright pink shade and that's not something I usually grab for. I never find that this kind of shade suits me but I was willing to try it out anyway! I found it to, again, be incredibly comfortable on the lips and super moisturizing. But, as I'd guessed, it wasn't really the shade for me. I much prefer bright red shades with my complexion and therefore, I don't think that this is a shade that I'd ever really wear myself. However, I'm going to be giving this to my Mum who absolutely loves this kind of colour, so although it wasn't for me, it doesn't mean that you can't all have a different opinion because everything besides the shade was absolutely perfect for me!

Let me know if you've tried these out and what your thoughts are down in the comments!

Shop this post here:





I don't care what you think.

I don't care if you think my blog is weird or that I'm crazy for having a YouTube channel. I don't care if you don't like my blonde eye brows. I don't care if you think I shouldn't wear black mascara. I don't care if you think I'm too thin or too fat. I don't care if you think I'm weird. I don't care if you think I'm over dressed. I don't care if you think that I'm too drunk. I don't care if you think I'm too boring. I just really don't fucking care.

I spent way too much of my life caring and seeking other people's approval. I always wanted to be popular, to be liked, to be loved and now the only opinion and approval that I am seeking is my own. 

For years I was picked on and made to feel like an odd one out. I wasn't a cute girly girl with a group of little friends, who loved me. I was a goofy girl with a funny sense of humor and a love for cheesy slogan t shirts. I just didn't fit the mold. However, I still craved that ideal of 'fitting in'. I wanted to be 'cool' and get invited to things. I wanted to look like everyone else and be like everyone else. I changed the way I acted and did stupid things like apply a bottle fake tan to my face, which made me look like a walking carrot because I turned entirely orange... *face palm*. I wanted to feel like I was a part of something. I never really felt like that until the end of High School. I did spend the first few years still trying to claw my way into the bubble of 'popularity', but I eventually managed to make friends with some amazing people and then it all just slowly started to not matter.

I began to realise that it's much more important to be fully accepted and appreciated by a small amount of people, than it is to have tonnes of people around you who don't even truly like you. It's important to feel like you can just be yourself and to not worry about impressing people or looking 'cool'. It's important to know that you are loved and not alone when there are people around you - there's nothing worse than feeling totally alone in a room full of people. 




For a while, I felt pretty damn good about being myself. I was okay with not being 'popular' or 'cool' and just content with being the goofy teenager I was. But, of course, then things in my life started to take a turn and I started to feel all those feelings that I'd beaten before, come back and bite me on the arse.

During the period of my life where I was incredibly unwell,  I would feel completely humiliated anytime I left the house. I feared seeing people I knew and having to explain what had happened with my life; dropping out of college after a month or two just seemed soooo embarrassing to me, plus the fact that I was so depressed that I literally just stopped caring about my appearance and resembled a scruffy dog most of the time. My Mum would convince me to go on little shopping trips to town and I'd end up bumping into people I knew and I'd feel like I wanted to die, right there on the spot, from humiliation.  

Once I began to recover, that's when I threw myself into my blog and YouTube. At first I found it sooooo embarrassing. People would ask me about it and I'd feel like I'd need the ground to swallow me up or a meteor to come soaring towards the earth and hit me. I don't know why I felt like that. It wasn't like my blog was a secret.. but I guess it's not considered the 'norm', is it? 

By the end of high school, I think that I'd finally shaken that kind of 'goofy' persona and become kind of 'cool', I guess (lol how lame does that sound) but, I that think starting my blog and having people gain knowledge of it worried me and that I'd become the 'weird' girl again. I'd often think about people that I fancied or the 'popular' people from school watching my videos or reading my posts and I'd begin to die a little inside. 

The thing is though, this blog is fricking damn cool - cooler than what a lot of other people are doing with their lives anyway. I'm not afraid to say that now. 

I don't remember an exact point where I stopped being embarrassed about it, but I just remember suddenly gaining the confidence to just think 'oh well, don't like it? don't care!'. I started sharing things to Facebook, not being afraid of people seeing things anymore, and basically shoving my blog and my videos down people's throats... to a degree, anyway hahaha.

What did I have to be ashamed of? All I'm doing is pursuing something that I love, just like if I were off studying English in the hopes of becoming an English teacher or something. 

With the confidence I gained in showing people my 'internet life' (could I sound more like a porn star?), I gained so much more confidence in myself. I began to feel so much better about who I was, what I looked like and where I seemed to be heading. I could slowly feel myself becoming.. well... myself! 

I began to look in the mirror and see 'Holly', a person who I hadn't seen in, probably, 10 years. I could look at myself and I think 'I look nice today' or 'I look happy today', instead of just seeing this sad sad face glaring back at me in the mirror. I felt pretty and like I was achieving things, and I'd question 'What did I ever even care?'  and do you know what? I really do not know why I ever did.  



Everyone in life eventually grows up. We stop being the 'odd ones out' or 'too pale' or 'so weird' and we start just being who we truly are and stop being defined by what everyone else thinks. Everyone moves on with their lives, does their own thing and finds their own way. So why on earth should we care in the first place? Why should we give a flying fuck about how people want to define us? If someone wants to call you 'weird' or 'a slut' or 'a geek', let them. Let them say whatever the hell they want. One day you'll look back and think 'woah, look how far I've come from that low point in my life' and you'll feel really bloody proud of yourself.

I used to get picked on for being fat and pale, and I used to be concerned that people would find this blog and think I was a weirdo. Wellllll, who's laughing now?! I'm a model, with a blog that generates income every month. Why the hell should I be ashamed of that?!

I put on outfits like the one I'm wearing in this blog post and I can tell myself that I look good. Yes, I might be as pale as Caspar the ghost and yes, I might have stood on my drive way, in front of like 100 cars who were driving past me, to take these photos (with a tripod and by myself, bare in mind), and received a gazillion funny looks from people whilst I did it. But I didn't care. I was doing what I loved and I looked pretty damn good whilst doing it! (if I do say so myself hahaha)

To everyone out there who, like me, constantly worries what everyone else is thinking, please take my advice. Stop caring, stop worrying and just. do. YOU. Do what YOU love. Wear what YOU like. Be what YOU want to be and please, don't let anyone or anyone's opinion stop you.

If you want to achieve something, you've got to stop letting humiliation and judgment stand in your way. Please start living your life and not giving a fuck what people are thinking or saying. As soon as you stop caring, that's when you actually start living - that's when you start to feel comfortable with yourself, find true friends and spend your time laughing rather than worrying and overthinking everything. Everyone is worrying about themselves, so why not just throw caution to the wind and shout from the roof tops 'I don't care!'? (metaphorically of course, please obtain from climbing roof tops to shout things hahaha)

Shop this outfit here:


The Importance Of Not Giving A Fuck 🖕🏻




I don't care what you think.

I don't care if you think my blog is weird or that I'm crazy for having a YouTube channel. I don't care if you don't like my blonde eye brows. I don't care if you think I shouldn't wear black mascara. I don't care if you think I'm too thin or too fat. I don't care if you think I'm weird. I don't care if you think I'm over dressed. I don't care if you think that I'm too drunk. I don't care if you think I'm too boring. I just really don't fucking care.

I spent way too much of my life caring and seeking other people's approval. I always wanted to be popular, to be liked, to be loved and now the only opinion and approval that I am seeking is my own. 

For years I was picked on and made to feel like an odd one out. I wasn't a cute girly girl with a group of little friends, who loved me. I was a goofy girl with a funny sense of humor and a love for cheesy slogan t shirts. I just didn't fit the mold. However, I still craved that ideal of 'fitting in'. I wanted to be 'cool' and get invited to things. I wanted to look like everyone else and be like everyone else. I changed the way I acted and did stupid things like apply a bottle fake tan to my face, which made me look like a walking carrot because I turned entirely orange... *face palm*. I wanted to feel like I was a part of something. I never really felt like that until the end of High School. I did spend the first few years still trying to claw my way into the bubble of 'popularity', but I eventually managed to make friends with some amazing people and then it all just slowly started to not matter.

I began to realise that it's much more important to be fully accepted and appreciated by a small amount of people, than it is to have tonnes of people around you who don't even truly like you. It's important to feel like you can just be yourself and to not worry about impressing people or looking 'cool'. It's important to know that you are loved and not alone when there are people around you - there's nothing worse than feeling totally alone in a room full of people. 




For a while, I felt pretty damn good about being myself. I was okay with not being 'popular' or 'cool' and just content with being the goofy teenager I was. But, of course, then things in my life started to take a turn and I started to feel all those feelings that I'd beaten before, come back and bite me on the arse.

During the period of my life where I was incredibly unwell,  I would feel completely humiliated anytime I left the house. I feared seeing people I knew and having to explain what had happened with my life; dropping out of college after a month or two just seemed soooo embarrassing to me, plus the fact that I was so depressed that I literally just stopped caring about my appearance and resembled a scruffy dog most of the time. My Mum would convince me to go on little shopping trips to town and I'd end up bumping into people I knew and I'd feel like I wanted to die, right there on the spot, from humiliation.  

Once I began to recover, that's when I threw myself into my blog and YouTube. At first I found it sooooo embarrassing. People would ask me about it and I'd feel like I'd need the ground to swallow me up or a meteor to come soaring towards the earth and hit me. I don't know why I felt like that. It wasn't like my blog was a secret.. but I guess it's not considered the 'norm', is it? 

By the end of high school, I think that I'd finally shaken that kind of 'goofy' persona and become kind of 'cool', I guess (lol how lame does that sound) but, I that think starting my blog and having people gain knowledge of it worried me and that I'd become the 'weird' girl again. I'd often think about people that I fancied or the 'popular' people from school watching my videos or reading my posts and I'd begin to die a little inside. 

The thing is though, this blog is fricking damn cool - cooler than what a lot of other people are doing with their lives anyway. I'm not afraid to say that now. 

I don't remember an exact point where I stopped being embarrassed about it, but I just remember suddenly gaining the confidence to just think 'oh well, don't like it? don't care!'. I started sharing things to Facebook, not being afraid of people seeing things anymore, and basically shoving my blog and my videos down people's throats... to a degree, anyway hahaha.

What did I have to be ashamed of? All I'm doing is pursuing something that I love, just like if I were off studying English in the hopes of becoming an English teacher or something. 

With the confidence I gained in showing people my 'internet life' (could I sound more like a porn star?), I gained so much more confidence in myself. I began to feel so much better about who I was, what I looked like and where I seemed to be heading. I could slowly feel myself becoming.. well... myself! 

I began to look in the mirror and see 'Holly', a person who I hadn't seen in, probably, 10 years. I could look at myself and I think 'I look nice today' or 'I look happy today', instead of just seeing this sad sad face glaring back at me in the mirror. I felt pretty and like I was achieving things, and I'd question 'What did I ever even care?'  and do you know what? I really do not know why I ever did.  



Everyone in life eventually grows up. We stop being the 'odd ones out' or 'too pale' or 'so weird' and we start just being who we truly are and stop being defined by what everyone else thinks. Everyone moves on with their lives, does their own thing and finds their own way. So why on earth should we care in the first place? Why should we give a flying fuck about how people want to define us? If someone wants to call you 'weird' or 'a slut' or 'a geek', let them. Let them say whatever the hell they want. One day you'll look back and think 'woah, look how far I've come from that low point in my life' and you'll feel really bloody proud of yourself.

I used to get picked on for being fat and pale, and I used to be concerned that people would find this blog and think I was a weirdo. Wellllll, who's laughing now?! I'm a model, with a blog that generates income every month. Why the hell should I be ashamed of that?!

I put on outfits like the one I'm wearing in this blog post and I can tell myself that I look good. Yes, I might be as pale as Caspar the ghost and yes, I might have stood on my drive way, in front of like 100 cars who were driving past me, to take these photos (with a tripod and by myself, bare in mind), and received a gazillion funny looks from people whilst I did it. But I didn't care. I was doing what I loved and I looked pretty damn good whilst doing it! (if I do say so myself hahaha)

To everyone out there who, like me, constantly worries what everyone else is thinking, please take my advice. Stop caring, stop worrying and just. do. YOU. Do what YOU love. Wear what YOU like. Be what YOU want to be and please, don't let anyone or anyone's opinion stop you.

If you want to achieve something, you've got to stop letting humiliation and judgment stand in your way. Please start living your life and not giving a fuck what people are thinking or saying. As soon as you stop caring, that's when you actually start living - that's when you start to feel comfortable with yourself, find true friends and spend your time laughing rather than worrying and overthinking everything. Everyone is worrying about themselves, so why not just throw caution to the wind and shout from the roof tops 'I don't care!'? (metaphorically of course, please obtain from climbing roof tops to shout things hahaha)

Shop this outfit here:


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